Today is officially talk like a pirate day...arrrrrggghhhh ! So, let your inner pirate out, me mateys. DD
Arrrrrrr Me need some grub and grog wench! Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day (We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.) 10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly? 9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm? 8. Come on up and see me urchins. 7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you. 6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon. 5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole? 4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder? 3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free. 2. Well blow me down? And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is … 1. Prepare to be boarded. http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html
This pirate walks into a bar... with a big steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender asks, "Do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" The pirate replied, "Arrrr. It's driving me nuts."
On a not-really-related note, my ex-roommate's wife, Victoria, will be on JeopARRRdy! today. On a related-albeit-five-years-old note: Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates
Shiver me timber...in my pants....ARrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long John Silver makes greasy seafood....ARrrrrrrr!!!! Land HO!!!!! Where's me ho? On land! ARrrrrrrr!!!!
All I can say is that when we play butt pirates and cabin boys, I always have the parrot on my shoulder and its a Jazz fan pushing a mop with a bowl haircut. Yarrr! It gets awful lonely on the high seas! Arrrr!
What's a Pirate's favorite Latin American country? Arrrgentina. What's a Pirate's favorite European country? Arrrrrrmenia. What's a Pirate's favorite surgery? Arrrthoscopic Surgery. ---------- A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the hook in the hand and a patch on the eye?" "Oh, it be a long-O storey, matey... I tell no tales..." "C'mon, sir, tell us why you have a hook." "Well, it's a story of Bird Crap, I tell ya!" "How was that? Too sad to tell?" asks the bartender. "No, I mean, I chased a bird, and blow me down, I couldn't chop him on the board, I chopped me hand instead." "ouch", says the bartender, "so why the patch?" "Darn bird returned next time, pooped on me eye, I forgots the hook in my hand, and scratched my eye!"
Arrr, blimey, we pirates are tough, but not as tough as the Houston Astros, arrrr, methinks me namesake team is about to get swept.
