40 things you won't hear from a southern male/sooner

40 things you won't hear from a Southern Male
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> 40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
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> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
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> 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
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> 37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
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> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a martini.
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> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
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> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
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> 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
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> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
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> 31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
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> 30. Wrestling's fake.
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> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
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> 28. We're vegetarians.
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> 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
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> 26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
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> 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
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> 24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
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> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
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> 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
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> 21. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
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> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
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> 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
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> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
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> 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
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> 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
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> 15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
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> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
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> 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
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> 12. Bobbie Jo is registered at Tiffany's.
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> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
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> 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
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> 9. Checkmate.
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> 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
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> 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
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> 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
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> 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
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> 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
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> 3. You All.
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> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darlin'.
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> 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'
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"norm, would you like to buy an indian scalp ? This deal isn't gonna make or break me Norm, so don't jerk me around." Harry Carey "Norm, if I had a mohawk scalp, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you."