Movie Review: Stealth

Looks terrible to me. It's the guy who directed The Fast and the Furious and xXx. I hated both movies and didn't pay to watch them, but if you like those movies, then maybe this will appeal to you.

 

Part of me has wanted to see this because it looks like it could be cool, but I was concerned it would be so stupid that it wouldn't be worth it. I think my second instinct may be on target.

I haven't seen it, but it's getting really awful returns on Rotten Tomatoes.
RATING: ROTTEN READING: 12%
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/stealth/

 

you can try looking up reviews on imdb.com

they usually have good reviews. and from what ive heard i think this movie is not worth paying 8 bux to see..just d/l it in a month

 

...hey, that's actually up one percent from yesterday! I just might have to cancel that anesthesia-less root canal appointment and go see Stealth instead...

 

I got a bad feeling from the previews as well.

 

I scoff at these "critical reviews" ~ clearly this is a great motion picture - a film worthy of Oscar...

 

I hate Rob Cohen, the movie looks like dried up dog turds

 

Here are a few of the "positive" blurbs of Stealth at RottenTomatoes.com:

"I'm not sure if I should club it to death or hug it."
"Stealth is a 'check your brain at the door' sort of action film for those who just want the amusement park ride... and don't worry about whether it makes any sense"
"Hollywood hokum? Absolutely. Pop-culture propaganda? Perhaps. Yet Stealth goes beyond feeding our popcorn proclivities."
"A phallic masterpiece. My testosterone level went up 10%. "

... And those are the positive reviews, too. Here are a few of my favorite negative blurbs:

"Has Stealth shown up on your radar? Shoot it down before it steals 2 hours of your life."
"When your movie is about a magical talking airplane, and yet the magical talking airplane is not the silliest thing about the movie, then you should not make any more movies."
"Harsh and tasteless, it doesn't even qualify as a popcorn movie. Popcorn, at least, has some taste to it, and a certain airiness."
"After 110 minutes of this, atheists will storm monasteries and acrophobics will scale redwood trees, anything to find an oasis of calm."
"Stealth is a dreadful, forgettable, abusive motion picture, and it makes the January stinker Alone in the Dark look Kubrickian in comparison."
"... Watching this movie becomes physically painful."
"The sort of movie that makes you pine for Michael Bay."
"Rob Cohen Has Officially Killed More Brain Cells Than Drugs & Alcohol"
"Almost apocalyptic in its stupidity"

Ouch.

 

now i know it's bad.

 

"'Cause Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you....."

 

Yeah, it looks stupid.

They should've made the robot plane the good guy, trying to stop a conspiracy of human pilots - only no one believes it, because it's a robot. That would've piqued my interest.

And also getting non-crappy writers/directors/et al.

 

There is nothing worse, more cliché, or simply more lazy in the science fiction plot device world than an accidental electrical discharge causing a machine to become sentient.

I saw alot about the plane design itself before any plot details became apparent. It is a "phantom aircraft" sometimes mistakenly refered to as "Bird of Prey" or "Aurora" (two different aircraft) but mostly known as switchblade. Molst of the discussion is based on this patent drawing

Elsewhere, I have seen aerospace engineers concur that for the aeroplane as realized in the film, the downward angle of the wings combinded with the downward cant of the leading edge of the wings would cause them to fall off when the plane took to the air.

As for the aeroplane's supposed Mach 3.5+ supercruse, the SR-71 got so hot at Mach 3 that the plane expanded in flight. It was fueled on the ground, but the unexpanded cold joints caused the SR-71 to leak jet fuel like a faucet when on the ground. After taking off, the plane would be immediately mid-air refueled.

The plane in the film would have to be covered in carbon-carbon composite tiles like the space shuttle, and recent evidence has shown how dependable covering metal vehicles in ceramics is.

 

i saw it a few days ago...it was okay. i didn't feel ripped off, but didn't feel priviledged to see the film either. it was just okay.