extracted via satellite, from a cave, somewhere deep in the Hindu Kush… http://www.indepundit.com/archive2/2005/08/what_have_they.html -- ANAS: They’ll go in to the subway system here, get on separate trains going in different directions, then detonate their nail bombs simultaneously at 9am. Once they have killed and maimed dozens of innocent people, we issue our demands. Any questions? ABDULLAH: Demands? We’ve never done that before… What exactly are the demands? USAMA: We're giving Bush two weeks to withdraw completely all infidel soldiers from the Lands of the Believers, and if he doesn't agree immediately, we’ll blow up more trains. AYMAN: In London? ANAS: In London, New York, Rome, Sydney, Berlin, Tokyo, Toronto, Paris, Amsterdam… USAMA: And of course, we point out that they bear full responsibility when we slaughter their people, and that we shall not submit to blackmail! TERRORISTS: No blackmail! USAMA: They've bled us dry, the infidels. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers. MUSHIN: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers. USAMA: Yeah. MUSHIN: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers. USAMA: Yeah. All right, Mushin. Don't labor the point. And what have they ever given us in return?! ABDULLAH: The Internet? USAMA: What? ABDULLAH: The Internet. USAMA: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah. ANAS: And cell phones. MUSHIN: Oh, yeah, the cell phones, Usama. Remember what we used to do for communications? USAMA: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the Internet and the cell phones are two things that the infidels have done. AYMAN: And electricity. USAMA: Well, yeah. Obviously electricity. I mean, electricity goes without saying, doesn't it? But apart from the Internet, the cell phones, and electricity-- AHMED: Satellite television. ABDULLAH: DVDs. TERRORISTS: Huh? Heh? Huh... FAZUL: SUVs. TERRORISTS: Ohh... USAMA: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough. FAHID: And air conditioning. TERRORISTS: Oh, yes. Yeah... ANAS: Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Usama, if the infidels left. Huh. AHMED: Indoor plumbing. MUSHIN: And girls can go to school now, Usama. ANAS: Yeah, they certainly have cleaned this mess up. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this. TERRORISTS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. USAMA: All right, but apart from cell phones, the satellite television, indoor plumbing, air conditioning, electricity, DVDs, SUVs, the Internet, and universal education, what have the infidels ever done for us? ABDULLAH: Establish democracy. USAMA: Oh. Democracy? Shut up!
