Jeff, I feel for you, I have been in similar situations myself and I never know how to act. You hate to get in other peoples business, but when it comes to kids it makes it that much harder. I`ve never been bold enough to directly confront someone but I have made a rather loud comment {to my girlfriend who was standing with me} hoping they would hear.It`s unfortunate that a few parents treat there children so harshly. ------------------
My fear in approaching a mother who was already angry and perhaps crossing a line in disciplining her kids would be that my talking to her about it would simply make her angrier and perhaps the kids would bear the brunt of that. Some people who abuse their children are taking out anger from other sources on their children. I would not want to make it worse for those kids by being a busybody directly to the mother. (Unless it was abuse that was just so far over the line that I actually felt there was a chance of significant injury to the child right in front of me). But I've never been confronted with such a situation so I don't know what I would do for sure. ------------------ Houston Sports Board The Anti-Bud Adams Page
CALL CPS? Then mad cause you got found out Don't be cowardly. . . . IF YOU GONNA ACCUSE SOMEONE OF SOME DASTARDLY DEED THEN BE GROWN UP AND DO IT. . . Not got though some I'm scare to be known sh*t 1. Children are sweet and precious but they can be unruly and undiscipline. Ever had a person's kid come to your house spilling sh*t everywhere and cursing out adults? IT ain't kewl . . . IT needs to be handled [I know . .. 1st question where they learn such words. . .but that is irrevelant] Kids need discipline IMO that is what is wrong with our kids they are as undiscipline as they are soft Discipline problems eventually lead to CRIME problems. For those that would interview 1. Do you think Foster Care programs is great? 2. When in 10 yrs that child is up for murder or something similar.. . .WHERE THE F*CK will you be? GUESS WHAT that so called Abusive parent will be in Row one RIGHT THE F*CK BEHIND THEM . . . while you sit at home watching on tv say . . . ain't that a shame. . . he should burn. A PARENT while harsh . .strict . . stern . .. Still loves their child they are doing ANY and EVERYTHING to keep their child on the str8 and narrow. . . . a. CHILDREN AIN'T DUMB . . .they know their rights Children will LIE on a parent to get there way . . . This woman may not be the best parent but I guarantee she not the worse. . .I bet she'd give her liver, her kidney, her F*CKING SOUL for that child. . . . .CAN YOU SAY THE SAME? Until you can . . .and really mean it not in some symbolic gesture. . . then leave her alone Their are plenty of Abusive Parents and they should be handled BUT I need PROOF beyond reasonable doubt. . . . I look at those Columbine kids and think they probably could have used a little more discipline. . . KIDS RUNNNING WILD OUT THERE and many folx put blinders on to that Parents work 2 jobs to feed and shelter them unfortunately cannot be there everyday . . THEY NEED OUR HELP . . NOT OUT SCORN . . OUR ANONYMOUS PHONE CALLS QUESTION: Was the child wrong? The child had behavior that should have been corrected . . . . You may question her methods but understand that there is a reason behind it What do we know about this woman? Was this he one day off from 3 jobs? Single mom? etc. Rocket River I'm going to quit now. . because I'm getting upset ------------------
I wish you'd given us a multiple-choice list of possible selections. Then I'd know if "forced sterilization" was an option. ------------------ Things are tough all over, I know what you mean... --Damon Johnson
Unfortunately, the only thing you can really do is look for or call a cop, tell them what you saw, and let them take it from there. A swift kick in the ass would feel a lot better, but then you would be screwed.
Aggressive parents lead to aggressive children (ex. beat their kids when they are older). I think spanking is ok... but slapping a kid and giving him a black eye is uncalled for. If my dad hit me when I was a kid, I would either fear him or end up hating his guts. That's no way to grow up. I don't know if it's right for a stranger to say anything to the mother, but if neighbors', friends, or family members witness it, they should make a phone call... ------------------
It depends, if she hit him in the face, no matter what the issue, I would have a problem with it, and would say something. A spank on the bottom though is another issue entirely. I would not get involved with that. I have a 2 year old son, and I can not imagine doing anything other then hugging him and telling him how much his mother and I love him. Mankind's worst enemy is man. DaDakota ------------------ If Mankind evolved from monkeys and apes, then why are there still monkeys and apes?
There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline is necessary, but some parents take it too far and cross the line into abuse. My kids got spankings when they were younger if it was needed. We were also very consistent with teaching them manners and requiring them to say please, thank you, etc. Now they are both extremely well behaved and well-mannered children (they have far better manners than I do and often correct me when I don't use proper manners). Like all kids, they get rowdy from time to time or whatever (But then again, so do I), but at this point, all I have to do is ask them to please calm down or stop doing whatever it is that they're doing. They got that discipline without ever being slapped on the face (I would never do that), and actually with very few spankings (I've never spanked the younger one. I remember spanking the older one once when he was four, but I think I stepped over the line on that one. I don't think he actually deserved it. I had a problem with controlling my anger that I had to work very hard on. I think I inherited it from my father, who had a horrible temper and who didn't mind throwing things or punching me or forcefully pushing me down or, at one point, waving a gun at me when he felt I had broken a rule. My discipline problems just got worse. So, his particular brand of parenting didn't work too well in controlling me. Just for the record, I will note that my Dad eventually realized he had an anger problem and he got help for it. He's a completely different person in that regard now). I think it's because we were consistent with correcting discipline problems all their lives and enforced rules early on that they turned out as well as they have so far. But any physical discipline was minor (a light spanking) and rare. ------------------ Houston Sports Board The Anti-Bud Adams Page
Dude, you SHOULD have said something about it. Hell, you should have made a scene about it. If she came back at you, then insist the store call out the police on the b****. ------------------ "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush
Since this was directed at me, I'll respond to this part of this mindless rant. They've made rules regarding whistleblowing and the CPS for a reason -- You want to give people a way to report abuse, or potential abuse, without being afraid of the consequences. In a perfect world you should be able to point out this type of problem without difficulty, but that's not reality. In cases of child abuse especially, the parents are going to be defensive -- even more so if they are guilty. Perhaps if you had paid attention, you would have noticed that I was aware of problems with the local law enforcement. The local small town, big ego, police chief was famous for his anger and abuse of suspects, and I did not want to -- could not -- deal with him. Read above that when he did find out, I was questioned at the police station, and threatened with arrest. I was in a politically sensitive job. The number 3 person where I worked was a friend, and cousin of the day care owner. My at the time fiance worked at the day care, and had to deal with the mother of the child on a daily basis. Her father was a police officer, yes for that police chief, and was trying to leave, but certainly didn't want to be fired. When CPS violated the confidentiality laws and gave the police chief info, then he did the same and told the head of the day care, it did have consequences. She was fired to keep the daycare from loosing the kids -- and the day care lost 3 other kids. Her father was cut from 48 hours a week to 20 -- they just didn't need a police officer on all night. Yes, I consulted an attourney. Yes, he said we had a good case. But, we decided it probably wasn't worth the heartache. The worst thing -- the case was never really investigated. CPS said the Police Chief insisted on handling it, and he only spoke with the mother. The mother said that the day before, this 10 month old had spilled a coke on himself in the car, and that ink off the diaper had stained his leg. He did not address what diaper would have blue, non-water resistant ink on it, or why the child supposidly had not had a bath in two days. I think others have made a pretty good case against confronting a parent directly. So think before you post. ------------------ Stay Cool...
They should be handled, but by someone trained to do so. They should not be confronted by someone in the middle of a mall. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt is not going to be visible in public -- and when it is, it's probably too late. You don't need proof of abuse at all. That's what CPS and family courts are for; to investigate suspected abuse and take appropriate action. I'm confused -- do you confront them, or not? Do you try to get them help, or not? Who's going to help them, if everyone ignores the problem? Abusive parents need help, and their are people with the resources to do so. If a wake-up call from CPS is what it takes, great. Most of the time they won't remove a child. They are more likely to order family therapy, or anger management for the parents. Wouldn't that be better for everyone? We shouldn't try to rationalize anyone's behavior like that -- especially when children are involved. Yes, if there is abuse, they may take that into consideration when offering an appropriate solution. As far as identifying a possible problem, it's irrelavent. ------------------ Stay Cool...
I was recently faced with a very similar situation. I was in a Taco Bell, trying to enjoy a double-decker taco and a chicken gordita. Admittedly, this is not the easiest task to perform. However, what made it even more difficult was the fact that this woman was sitting on the other side of the "restaurant" trying in vain to corral her two aggressively loud and obnoxious children. The Satan-spawn were running all over the place, jumping up and down on seats, seemingly intent on testing the accoustics of every corner of the room with what can only be described as a mixture of inane gibberish and high-pitched chortling. This howling symphony of noise would be punctuating only by the occasional whining complaint to the "mother" that the other sibling was failing to be quite as obnoxious as he was. The mother would respond to each complaint with a half-hearted, "_____, don't hit your brother," or, "_____, give your brother back his head", whatever...you get the point. Now, this would seem to me to be the extreme opposite example of what you're talking about. I wanted nothing more than for that pathetic excuse for a mother to knock the hell out of one or both of those whining brats and excercise some, gasp...dare I say it?...discipline. But, no, she just let those two poster-children for birth control run amuck through the store without so much as an apology to anyone they might be currently harrassing. Friends, there is a happy medium to be found between abuse and needed disciplinary measures. The line is nebulous, and therefore difficult to define. I don't know that it is ever appropriate for any one of us to step in and tell a mother how to raise her children. All I know is, on this particular day, I only just stopped myself from saying to that woman, "Madame, procreation is not always a viable option." Gascon ------------------ Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me...you.
