Disclaimer: This is a joke! I thought it was funny, and some here might enjoy it. I didn't write it, and don't intend it as political criticism. If you don't like it -- look at some of the George Bush pictures -- you'll feel better. Subject: VP FOOTBALL Reuters is reporting that Al Gore is already seeking his next job after conceding the Presidential contest. Earlier today, Gore, a committed Washington Redskins fan, completed an interview with the National Football League for a position as a Replay Official. Reuters has obtained an audio tape of the interview which is transcribed below: Interviewer: So on this tape we gave you to review, you found some plays that you feel should have been called differently. Al Gore: Yes I did. In fact this play on the monitor right now should have been ruled as a Redskins touchdown. Clearly, the pass was thrown perfectly and the receiver was wide open. Interviewer. But, he dropped the ball. Al Gore: Nevertheless, we have to consider the intent of the players involved. See the way he's stretching out for the ball. He obviously intended to catch that ball, and it would be wrong to negate his efforts due to a mere technicality. And then, just look at this next play... Interviewer: (watching intently) Yes, Illegal Procedure flagged on the Redskins. What's your concern here? Al Gore: Well, all of the Officials are huddled in private over near the sideline, in obvious disagreement! No one can respect any decision by a team of officials so deeply divided. That flag should never have been thrown. On plays like this, the will of the fans is paramount and should be left up to the Redskins Offensive Coordinator. Interviewer: Hmmmmmmmm (writing). Anything else? Al Gore: In examining the tape, I have uncovered numerous examples where Redskins running backs were attempting to advance the ball forward, but were ruled out-of-bounds. It seems to me that the sidelines were marked in a confusing and unfair manner so as to prevent our running backs from gaining the yardage that they earned. Here's an example on the monitor now. Interviewer: His foot is on the line. Al Gore: On the line, over the line, it's all so confusing to the players. Look, I'm just trying to be fair. The Redskins were obviously the better team. They gained more yards and got more first downs. By all rights, they won this game. Interviewer: The other team scored more points. Al Gore: (sigh ) The convoluted method by which scores are determined in the NFL is so antiquated; the players deserve better. We need to look at the performance of each player on each play over the course of the entire game. Sometimes, we may need to look at it several times before we are in a position to judge who is the better team. Interviewer: (head in hands) Anything else? Al Gore: Yes, the end of the game exposes another unfair practice. The Redskins were moving the ball very well when suddenly, they were denied the chance to make the game-winning touchdown. Interviewer: The clock ran out. Al Gore: Why should we place an arbitrary limit on the amount of time when the outcome is so in doubt? In games that are this close, the players should decide the outcome, not the clock. Interviewer: How much longer would you have them play? Al Gore: Until the right team wins. Interviewer: Thank you for your time, Mr. Gore. We'll get back to you.... ------------------ Stay Cool...
I think they are going to get back with him. He applied for a job as an official with the NBA also, but he failed the eye exam -- he had 20/20 vision. Ooohh! ------------------ Stay Cool...
20/400 would probably be just as bad in the league's eyes. ------------------ [This message has been edited by Steve_Francis_rules (edited January 25, 2001).]
