From the Chronicle: Wanted: 200 willing Big Brothers Shortage of male volunteers leaves boys waiting instead of learning By JO ANN ZUÑIGA Copyright 2000 Houston Chronicle More than 300 excited kids were expected at the recent Big Brothers Big Sisters Christmas Party at Enron Field, but another 200, mostly boys, remained on a waiting list in need of an adult friend. Kori Anne Hamilton, a 26-year-old office worker for the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, said she has seen both sides of the program that links children from single-parent families with one-on-one adult mentors. "I've been a Little and I've been a Big," Hamilton said. As a teen-ager who had a busy mom working two jobs to support the family, Hamilton became a Little Sister. Now she is giving back as a Big Sister to a 14-year-old girl. "My Big Sister was so influential in my life, so I hoped that I could help someone as a friend and role model," Hamilton said. But for some reason male volunteers are harder to come by, she said. "We have more girl matches in our 1,000 or so matches. We only have about 25 girls on a waiting list. But we have about 200 boys waiting," said Hamilton, a member of the BBBS Retention Committee. Lots of free tickets to sports events, Texas World Speedway races and other happenings around town as well as parties, camping trips and crafts make volunteering as much fun for the adults as the children, Hamilton said. A list of activities and restaurants where kids eat free are available at the organization's Web site, <a href="http://www.bbbshouston.org">www.bbbshouston.org</a> and mentors can plan their own ideas as well, she said. "My 14-year-old Little loved football games, so we'd go to UH, TSU and any other football game available," she said. "You can list your interests, the age range you want of a child, and we'll match you." Little Brothers or Sisters are from 6 to 15 years old. Even 12 years later, Hamilton remains friends with her Big Sister, Rhea Jared, who is now in her 50s and married with two grown sons. "We still talk at least once a week. She's one of the first people I turn to for advice. We're definitely friends," Hamilton said. But her first Big Sister did not work out as well, although there was an amicable parting. "She was only 19 years old and I was 14 years old. She felt too close to my age and like we were just hanging out together. "She realized she wanted someone younger to take to museums and color with. That was fine," Hamilton said. So a different match was made and in her case, it formed a lifelong friendship, she said. With a commitment of meeting the child twice per month for two to four hours and providing personal transportation, a person can make a major change in a child's life, Hamilton said. "When you see the child who hardly ever smiles suddenly crack a smile at you, it's worth it," she said. "My Little would say about herself, `I'm so fat and ugly,' and I would say, `No, you're not. You're a beautiful person.' Then one day she gave me a card and signed it, `Your beautiful Little Sister,' and I knew I had reached her," Hamilton said. In another case, a mother who is disabled and unemployed said she has definitely noticed the difference in her two children, 11-year-old Joshua Botello and 8-year-old Gabriela Botello, who now both have college graduates as mentors. Josh was highlighted in a newspaper article last year after being on a waiting list for more than a year for a male mentor. After the article mentioned his frustration of being the only boy in a house full of women -- his mom, sister, aunt, grandmother and great-grandmother --, Josh was soon matched with sales director Victor Vann. "They're celebrating their one-year anniversary together this month," his mom, Deborah Hernandez, said. "I can really see the difference with a more positive self-image." "I like the balance. He's helped Victor, whose wife is expecting a baby, to assemble a crib. He's helped him repair a toilet, and then they went to a Rockets basketball game. "He told me, `Mom, we were so close to the court that I could see the sweat on their forehead,' " Hernandez said. On the other side, her daughter's Big Sister is a medical student. They were matched because they both are "artsy-craftsy," she said. "Last week they made chocolate lollipops in her apartment for Christmas. They've been to the Renaissance Festival and museums. Their favorite outing is to bookstores and libraries because they both love to read," Hernandez said. But at times the relationships can be bittersweet for the 38-year-old single mom who suffers from asthma, arthritis and a bone disorder. "I wouldn't be human if I didn't feel a little bad because I can't do it with them financially or physically. But I'm so happy that they get the chance to do it," she said. ------------------ The way to use life is to do nothing through acting, The way to use life is to do everything through being. - Lao-Tzu
