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GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Major, Dec 15, 2000.

  1. Major

    Major Member

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    Warning: this is a JOKE. If you can't take jokes, don't read further. [​IMG]

    BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT

    Bush to be smitten later today

    In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule Tuesday's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.

    "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bull****."

    "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes."

    Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 292-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's
    Word for possible grounds for appeal.

    "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of
    the state of Florida."

    "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."

    God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot."

    "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."

    Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God
    has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.

    Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.



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    Is it any coincidence that the Cato is the only Rocket with a temperature scale named after him?

    I didnt think so!!!!
     
  2. Clutch

    Clutch Administrator
    Staff Member

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    Oh man I haven't even read it yet -- just in tears from the headline!

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    NOTHING BUT .NET
    CLUTCHCITY.NET
     
  3. SmeggySmeg

    SmeggySmeg Member

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    LOL

    very funny humourous story

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    "What is it with this girl, has she got beer flavoured nipples??"
    - Heath Ledger in 10 things I hate about you
     
  4. slcrocket

    slcrocket Member

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    LOL. Thank you!! [​IMG]

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    Jazzkiller
     
  5. ROXRAN

    ROXRAN Member

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    No, GOD made Bush the winner, because Al Gore is the DEVIL!

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    Sometimes you gotta do the next best thing!
     
  6. Rockets R' Us

    Rockets R' Us Contributing Member

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    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....Dunno, just had to get it out of my system. [​IMG]

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    Francis out top, 9 seconds on the clock, he gives a no look pass to Cuttino Mobley, 4 seconds left, Mobley passes to an open Langhi in the corner with 1 second left! Langhi at the buzzer.......YES!!! How Sweet It Is!!
     
  7. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    RoxRan is Mama Boucher

    'now you go play your foozball'

    :)

    Rocket River

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  8. mc mark

    mc mark Member

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    Good Morning Rocket Fans...

    Shanna,

    I also got this yesterday in email!

    But I didn't post it because I didn't want to start another "discussion".

    I think it's hilarious


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    'Deeds, not words, shall speak me.'
     
  9. Vengeance

    Vengeance Member

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    ROXRAN - Al Gore isn't the devil . . . The internet is the devil . . . Al Gore invented the internet [​IMG] hehe

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    "I am who I am, who I am, well who am I?" -- Dave Matthews Band "Dancing Nancies"
     
  10. JuanValdez

    JuanValdez Member

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  11. Steve_Francis_rules

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    This is just great.

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  12. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    mmmm ...sacreligious

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    "Its a good thing they don't make posters of European players"

    -Walt Williams after getting "posterized" by Zan Tabak .
     
  13. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    Man oh man...I can't believe I didn't see this one already!! ROFLMAO!!!!
    Thanx!!! (wiping tears from his eyes)

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    Give It To Moochie!
    President of the Moochie Norris fan-club
     

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