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How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by Space Ghost, Dec 14, 2000.

  1. Space Ghost

    Space Ghost Member

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    A little bit late, but a funny joke. Makes you feel proud to be a Texan!

    Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this election finished. Now It is my turn:

    #1: Al Gore becomes President of the United States (all 49 states).

    #2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

    Gore shouldn't mind as he said we were the worst state in the union during the campaign.

    So what does Texas have to survive as a Republic?

    NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).

    We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States (that is why Houston has problems with the air quality).

    Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on new meaning.

    Oil - we can supply all the oil the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.

    Natural Gas-Again we have all we need (too bad about those northern states). Al Gore will figure a way to keep Tipper and you warm....

    Computer Industry-we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips. A small place named Texas Industries, Dell Computer, EDS, etc., etc.

    Health Centers-We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers, and other large health planning centers.

    We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Rice, University of Houston, SMU, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc.

    We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more) and our friends across the border will pour in by the thousands.

    We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

    This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas afloat.

    Now to the rest of the United States under President Gore:

    Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Gore will be able to drive around in his SUV which gets him about 9 miles per gallon. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

    You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications.

    You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Al's promised global warming, I'm sure you won't get cold! You won't need our computer chips since you won't have electricity to power the
    computers.

    So don't worry about us down here in Texas. We will be OK.



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    its all good and fun till someone gets hurt ... then its absolutely hilarious!
     

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