my girlfriend is pregnant....should i skip town....?

How old are you, cagey vet?

 

you know. . . I have read several responses like this

But. . If a woman decides to have an abortion or even Adoption
[u know. . . not taking responsibility and taking the easy way out]
we general . . be like SHE SO RESPONSIBLE
she made the hard decision

but man makes the similar decision . . well he is pond scum

Why is that ?

Rocket River
not trying to hi jack the thread

 

damn the irony.

 

Edit- I WAS WRONG-

 

Whatever you do, don't marry the girlfriend. You HAVE to pay child support. Be a father, don't be one, whatever. But DON'T marry the girlfriend.

 

Well man, your phone call on Sunday was a shocker. I hope you refrained from telling your mom and dad. Better that you vent here than there.

Sorry I couldn't talk more about it on the phone. The apartment is small and the wife is still tad sensitive about baby stuff. So, since your email address may or may not be still solid and we are relatively anonymous here, here I go:

When I found out I was going to be a Dad back in May, I was terrified. I mean really, really not ready. I had been planning to visit Macchu Picchu in August and hike the Incan Trail. I had just started interviewing with Goldman and was thinking about relocating to either NYC or London if possible. Neither were going to be easy or possible with a pregnant wife. My job sucked...the pay and benefits were great (and dude, you need to get benefits PRONTO cause prenatal care is really really expensive), but the company was close to bankruptcy and the aze could fall anytime.
And the flatscreen TV and Ipod I wanted...well, I was pretty sure whatever bonus I was hoping for was going to a diaper genie and baby furniture. I was not ready. I felt like a kid again, and totally freaked out.

As we got further along with the pregnancy, a couple of things happened. I started talking to a lot of people about having kids, and most of them shared similiar fears. My dad told me that he had just blown all of his cash in the bank account on a 71 Toyota Celica and new stereo system when my mom dropped the bomb on her. My father in law was unemployed and considering becoming a hippie when his wife turned up pregnant. My buddy Bruce actually had a panic attack because his boss had just told him that since he wasnt an engineer, he had just hit the career ceiling at his company. But all of them said that their future child motivated them to get their ducks in a row....that it actually changed them. Fear? Responsibility? No idea what happened, but it happened.

The first two months I couldn't sleep. I was sick to my stomach. My wife was sick and blamed me for it. Then we had the first ultrasound, and everything changed. The first images of my kid on the little screen were amazing. 8 weeks in, and I had pics. I flew to NYC with that stupid little printout in my pocket and it motivated me to ace my interviews. The trips, the TV, the Ipod? Screw em. I was going to be a Dad. I was going to be the father my father didnt have time to be. I was going to score a job that could give my family security. I was reading up on parenthood. Was I still scared? Hell yeah....the closer we got to the big day, the more terrified I was. But I was less scared of being a dad and more afraid of not being prepared for the adventure we were about to undertake.

Well, you know that things didnt quite work out that way. I got the job, and the gadgets, and the trips, but only because the little fella's heart just wasnt quite strong enough. I didnt have to worry about poop or sleep deprivation or death of my social life. But to be perfectly honest, I would have loved all of that. I would have preferred the kid.

Dude, if she wants the kid, then congrats, you are a dad. My advice is try to embrace it. You have time, find a gig with insurance. You've got the college degree and a huge motivating factor. You dont have to marry the gal. You can be a great Dad without it. Give it your appreciation of music. Teach it to play guitar someday. Hell, you could even name it Mateo.

Congrats again. I'll be in town for the BBQ, we should grab Kev and pop a few cold ones.

 

Same thing with me. About 3 years ago I got this chick pregnant. It was right after I graduated from Baylor. She skipped town, and now I have the baby. Her name is Reese, and she is my life, my love, and everything that makes me happy. She is my little stinky princess. Trust me man, it is hell to begin with, but once they develop a personality it is so awesome. She calls me "Daddy Curt Monster" and she screams. Hehe, im gonna go kiss her little sleeping face right now!

 

I'm sorry, but when I read this, I just started laughing so hard, I thought I was gonna pass out. I was just imagining your father in law filling out a "hippie" application, wondering about the benefits, and whether they had dental.

It wasn't like that.

 

He lived in Follansbee, WV. To be a hippie meant he had to leave town where all the action was. He had bought the VW van and was all ready to head the the West Coast.

 

Funny to read this, the same thing happened to me 4 years ago. I was 20 years old working for IBM making some nice change w/ a company car (it was a van but gas was free!) Then I got that dreaded call. Its dreaded when your not ready. I started being late for work everyday, started drinking heavy (Best thing that ever happened to me). The drinks, got me through some low times, I hate to admit it. However, I didnt talk to her for about 6 months there afterward. I was beatin up every peice of ass I could. 7 months came around, I realized the baby wasnt going away. I could either accept it and move forward or bow down to the pressure. I started to get back into church got a new Job with a 10k raise. I still was upset at her, but when the day came and I saw my son for the first time. I cried like a lil' ol' punk. I knew in my heart I could not reject the most innocent thing in my life. You dont know love until you have a child. Me and her are married now, alot of it has to do with him, but its all good. Its true when they say, "ITS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER!"

 

See I thought this would be assumed by everyone else. When I read the first post I thought "here's a confused guy looking for help" not "wow this ****head is really about to skip town and TALK ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET BEFORE DOING SO"

Its okay though NJrocket, I know the internet is hard.

 

buh bye .... hahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha

 

Drewpy, Didn't you use to be a little less angst filled? Let's have a little chat, you know where to find me.

tootles.

 

what would vernon maxwell do?

 

I can see how this story will end.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

 

i guess you're not a cagey vet at safe sex. i'm sorry i know that was a low blow. but i wish the best of luck to you. i had a milder situation like yours back in october. My g/f wasn't pregnant but the thought of her being (at our young age) scared the bejeezus outta me.

like the others have said...get a paternity test. rather lose 500 now than the rest of your life.

 

to be honest, I was just trying to see how pissed he would get if I was a big dick about it.

also, I genuinely laughed when I read the "buh bye" thing.

 

Is it really that hard to not get a chick pregnant? Are you guys not using protection at all, or is it failing?

My wife and I are extremely careful with protection because we are not ready yet for kids...its really not that hard.

I just don't understand why so many people accidently get pregnant when there are so many ways to have almost 100% protection...not THAT many people have protection fail on them, so I can only assume that people are having brain farts and not using protection, or are just ingnorant in thinking it can't happen to them and don't use any at all.

That being said...you aren't the first person to get someone pregnant and you won't be the last. Your life will change big time, but its not ruined...it will just be different than what you thought. If you think of all the horrible things in the world out there that can happen to you, having a kid is NOT one of them.

 

start reading.....and good luck....kids are great! Make sure on the paternity when the time comes.

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http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/patfaq.htm
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http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/csfaq.htm
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