What do they call a computer in the Clippers Draft day War Room? An Etch-A-Sketch. ----------------------------------- Charles Barkley walks into a bar and says, "Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the one about the Golden State Warriors?" Jamison, Hughes, Blaylock, and Dampier stand up and approach the man. Jamison says, "We play Basketball For Golden State, you wanna tell that joke to us?" Barkley replies, "What? And have to explain it four times?" ---------------------------- How do you get Mark Macon off your front porch? You pay him for the pizza. ------------------------ "Did you hear they've decided to cover the Compaq Court in cardboard next season?" said one boy to his sister. "No, why is that?" asked the Sister "Rudy T has decided that Walt Williams always looks better on paper." ----------------------------- Dennis Rodman, Steve Kerr, Ron Harper and Michael Jordan were Training under Phil Jackson. He made them all climb Mount Everest. They got to the top of the mountain, and Steve Kerr says, "I do this for the Chicago Bulls," and he jumps off of the mountain. Then Ron Harper says , "I do this for the Chicago Bulls," and he jumps off the mountain. Then Jordan says, "I do this for the world," and he pushes Rodman off of the mountain. ------------------------------------- Darius Miles was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. It's a good thing the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it. --------------------------------------- What does Vanessa Williams get if she drives by Shawn Kemp's house real slow? A child. ---------------------------------------- Pig Miller walked into a local bar with a pig under his arm. The pig was wearing a "Rockets" jersey and shorts, and was blanketed in a Rockets Leather jacket. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" Miller begs him, "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The game begins with the Rockets winning the tip. They hustle down the court, feed Olajuwon the ball in the post. The dog barks wildly, jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says, "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! That dog went crazy for the Olajuwon post up. What does the dog do when they run a play for somebody else?" The owner replies, "I don't know, I've only had him for sixteen years." ------------------------------------- A Clipper Fan from South Central dies and goes to hell. While down there the Devil notices that the boy is not suffering like the rest. He checks his gauges and sees that it's 95 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the boy and asks why he is so happy. The boy says "I like it here. The temperature is just like living in LA in June." The Devil isn't happy with the boys answer and decides to get him, so he goes over to his controls and turns up the temperature to 105 degrees and the humidity to 90%. After turning everything up he goes looking for the boy. He finds him standing around just as happy as can be. The Devil quizzes the boy again as to why he's so happy. The boy says,"This is even better. It's like making love to my woman in July." The Devil, now upset, decides to really make the boy suffer. He goes over to the controls and turns the heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now lets see what the boy is up too," he says. So he goes looking for the boy. He finds him sitting on the floor even happier than before. The Devil can't figure it out. He asks the boy why he's so happy now. The boy replies, "This is great, it's just like Watching the Clippers burn up the high school teams in summer games." The Devil says "That's it, I'll get this boy." He goes over and turns the temperature down to a freezing 10 degrees below zero. Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over. "Let's see what the boy has to say about this," thinks the Devil to himself. The Devil looks around and finds the boy jumping up and down for joy and yelling... "The Clippers beat the Lakers!!!! The Clippers beat the Lakers!!!!" --------------------------------------- Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the woman answers, "241." "That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the Mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss." Next Albert introduces himself to a man and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the gentleman answers, "144." "That's great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!" Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51." Albert responds, "How 'bout them Knicks?" ----------------------------------- Why do the New Jersey nets put their basketball statistics in their car windows? So they can get the handicap spot. ----------------------------------- A woman, who was being supported by the NBA "build a home program" was having her walls painted. She was walking through her new house with the NBA contractor. As they walked through rooms, she told him what color she wanted him to paint each room. In the bedroom she said, "I think this would be nice in a cream." The contractor stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!" This perplexed the woman. They moved to the living room and she said, " I would love rose in this area." Again the contractor strolled over to the window and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP!" Again the woman was confused but did not say anything. As they walked into the kitchen she proudly announced that she wanted this room to be, " a glorious shade of mauve." Once again the contractor went to the window and yelled,"GREEN SIDE UP!" Finally she could not stand this anymore. "What are you shouting GREEN SIDE UP out every window of this house?" He replied,"I'm sorry. I have a crew of Denver Nuggets laying sod across the street." -------------------------------- What do you call a Portland TrailBlazer in a three piece suit? A defendant -------------------------------- What's the difference between a litter of puppies and Scottie Pippen? Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining. -------------------------------------- ------------------ humble, but hungry.
LOL PSJ, I really liked the Nuggets one, had me rollin'! ------------------ Ugh, Another Rockets off-season....I'm gonna need a keg of Pepto-Bismol.
I am impressed that Miller was able to transform his pig into a dog. Mango ------------------ Test Your NBA Trade Ideas 1. Put new topics in the proper forum. Things happening in the rest of the NBA 2. Use clear wording for new threads. 3. No duplicate threads 4. Conduct yourself as an adult. The Serious Police are watching. Donate Blood or be assimilated!
