Okay, this seems to be a recurring issue on the bbs, so I thought I'd post a thread about it. Single men and women seem to be unable to meet quality people. Well, this thread is all about tips on how to meet that special someone. Here are my tips: [*] Be active in things you like If you like roller-blading, become active in roller blading. Find and join groups of people who go roller-blading. Soon, you'll find others who have similar interests. This accomplishes many things. You won't meet anyone by sitting on your couch all day. You'll open the doors to possibly meeting someone else. And if you don't meet someone, at least you've spent time pursuing something you really enjoy [*] Be sexy Your true love will love you for what's inside, not for your physical appearance. But before they get to know you, they're going to look at you first. Initial encounters are almost always based on physical appearances. Be sexy. Look good. You'll feel good about yourself, it builds confidence, and it attracts others to you. [*] Be approachable Hang out with members of the same sex. If you're out with friends of the opposite sex, usually you won't get hit on. Make opportunities for others to confront you. Go sit by yourself for a few minutes pretending to do something. Smile at others and be willing to talk to strangers. [*] Be polite If you're not interested in someone, and you need to let them off the hook, do so politely. People have feelings and it took courage for that person to approach you. If you were in their shoes, you would want the same. [*] Be mature Don't "play games". Be honest and up front with them. If you're interested, approach them and let them know (yes - women should do this, too!). If you're trying to attract someone, don't do so by acting like a drunken fool teenager at their first keg party. Know yourself, communicate clearly, and be confident. People don't want to date a child. [*] Be strong The only way to avoid the risk of rejection is to not attempt anything. Know that you may encounter rejection, and that it may be harsh. But you're a grown-up now. You're your own person and should be strong and confident in yourself. Get over the rejection and move on - and do so quickly. -- droxford
Isn't this advice mostly for women? My advice for women is ... All men are dogs and establishing your self worth from your landing the right dog may not be the best path to happiness. Dogs tend to stray. Have a well established Plan B, just in case. In particular, you need a career to fall back on, when your dog takes off leaving you with two kids and no $$$. You need to pursue those things that interest you, regardless of the find-a-man possibilites. As a side effect, this might make you more attractive to men who want a woman "who has a life".
Here's the advice I gave to Jeff in another thread: I also forgot to add self-deprecating humor helps too. I disagree with this for men but otherwise Droxford's suggestions all sound good to me.
I agree with most of what you say Drox, but the first few lines of this are completely off base (for guys at least). Usually when i go out it is with a group of guys/girls. If i'm out looking for girls i make sure to have a few girls in my group. If a girl sees that you are out and have girls with your group you seem much more normal and 'cool'. Often times i have a few great girl friends that will approach a cute girl and tell them "i want you to meet my friend". It works like a charm, as she'll start talking to her by complementing her purse or something like that. You bring two girls into a group of guys and girls and they will be much more comfortable than meeting a few guys alone. But this is a great thread. I'm recently on the market myself after over two years. The important thing to going out is realize what you are and what your potential is. BAR/CLUB Rules: If you dress more hip-hop and are 21, don't go to an oldies bar. If you're broke, dress in baggy pants and not very cute, don't go to the Red Door or MidTown clubs. Learn what your type of crowd is and go to those places, not just the popular places. Some places i go to i see the same random groupings of 2-3 guys combos that never have any girls talk to them and never get a damn thing. They're out of their league, no matter how tight their shirt is. Find your environment and own it. While you're out don't look around constantly or walk around in circles. Find a spot and just talk with your friends. That deer in headlights look of desperation will not get you very far. Just laugh and joke around and people will think you are fun. Even if you don't have anything to say and girls are looking, use my famous "bullsh*t, bull**it, bullsh*t" line and then laugh. When you see a girl you wish to talk to, talk to her either the first or second time you make eye contact with her. Its not cool to be a stalker. AND don't use a cheesy line. If a girl is out and is not with a boyfriend then there is a strong possibility she wants to be talked to. If not she'll tell you and its no big deal. Just ask her what her name is or if she has a cigarette. Just go out and have fun. Listen to some good music, see the sights and live it up. If it happens that night it does, but don't expect it to or build it up otherwise you'll be dissapointed. Good luck troops!
You're right, F.D. Khan. My post should probably be adjusted to say "don't go out with one friend of the opposite sex or else people will think you are a couple." Being in a larger crowd with people of different gender won't go against you, and may help you." Also, a new note: Men: In general, women are going to be more attracted to you if they get the vibe that you're not just cruising for a pice of a$$. They want to have fun, and if you present the attitude that you just want to have fun, you have a better chance that they'll be interested in you. If you are trying to impress them with your manliness or sexiness, women usually find this as a turnoff. They want a man who is naturally manly and sexy, but doesn't flaunt it and is just having fun. Women: If you look decent, have a good body and wear short pleated skirts EVERYWHERE YOU GO, you are guaranteed to have guys hit on you. If you don't look decent or have a good body, you've got your work cut out for you. It will help you greatly in many ways, including meeting men, if you get in good shape and work on your physical appearance. Initially, men are shallow. Tarzan want sexy girl. -- droxford
Also remember that Most girls aren't normally interested in your bbs friends and world of warcraft, so don't mention you spend most of your time on the bbs or playing video games until you know she really digs you.
I gotta ask, what's with the pleat fetish? I like the short skirt idea, of course, but the pleated look doesn't do anything for me.
It's not really a pleat fetish, but sometimes when you tell a girl to wear a short skirt, she comes up with some kooky cheesy chiffon dumb thing that isn't sexy. Or they wear a skort, (thank God those things are gone). By indicating a pleated skirt, it more accurately defines what I'm trying to emphasize: a sexy skirt that is short and bounces around alot, attracting attention. That's always accomplished by a pleated short skirt. -- droxford
I don't know. I current gf came over to my house for the first time and wanted to play X-Box. I was shocked and and pleasantly surprised. We even play Tekken on the PS2 together now. I guess I got a hot, nerdy girl.
I know. Every year, seemingly, one of the young college girl intern hotties end up flirting heavily with me. I always thought it was the long hair and the Fu Manchu? Or maybe they see my size 13's and think.........hmmm........
