When I was in school I remember career day fondly. Firemen, policemen, actors and singers came to my school and were treated with respect and admiration. When I was contacted and asked to be a participant in this elementary school ritual, I gladly accepted. Little did I know what was to be in store. When I got there, my preprinted nametag said "Billy Washington-Cake Decorator" apparently my job was confused with the Dude that was supposed to occupy the 1-2:15 shift. Instead of having them amend my shirt ornament I decided to go with it because it seemed like such a task for them to change it. I was under the impression that I was supposed to speak to an entire student body, but those impressions were crushed when I walked into a classroom of five year olds and was introduced by the teacher as Billy the Baker. From the time I walked into the room it was warfare, some kid yelled out, "where is the football player?" sheepishly I went into my spiel. I tried to explain how important laughter is in everyday life and why they should always have something ready to make people laugh, I should have taken my own advice. A little girl jumped up and said that she did something that made her parents laugh all the time; sensing an ally I welcomed her performance. She stood up and pretended to be r****ded, contorting her mouth and hand while she made drunken noises with her mouth. Everybody thought it was funny except for a little boy that appeared to have Downs Syndrome and sat a few feet away. Sensing that I was about to be shown up by this characterization I tried to take over, too late. I tried to get back to my "career" and all these little monsters wanted to do was act like they were "special". Some kid asked me if I had ever been on TV, I told him that I had and some other kid called me a liar. The same kid wanted to come up and show me how he made his father laugh, I allowed him and he came up and tried to punch me in the stomach. Finally as I got ready, to leave my last offering to them was to allow them to be stand-up comics. I provided an imaginary microphone (plastic banana) and asked a few to come up and tell a joke to the rest of the class. Little Brittany was first, she walked up to the front in her little pink outfit and began, "Why did the skeleton cross the street?" baffled, I asked why, "Because his nuts were on the other side." Realizing that I couldn't follow that, I politely told all of them thanks, distributed a few headshots and hurried the hell outta there. "See you next year?" the principal asked.
I remember Career day in school it was very enjoyable to meet all these different people. Im sorry to say that kids have changed so much. I really think the discipline given to kids is lacking these days. They let them do whatever they want and kids grow up thinking this is a right way to act. Their parents could care less and it just carries onto their adult lives. It's a big chain of events to me really. The economy is jacked up causing people to work more...can't stay with your kids, leave them with day care services, no discipline and the kids comes up acting like this.... It's really becoming worse and worse...i mean when did i ever think elementary kids would be saying such stuff and carrying guns to school threatening their teachers....it's a shame really. AB - i feel sorry for you man at the same time commend you for trying to give back and actually puting yourself out there.
AB, sorry about your crappy career day. But you gotta admit, that lil girl's joke w/ the skeleton was pretty funny ...
Dude, you've got oodles of material from your hour and change of being "Billy the Baker". Hope you and the fam are going well.
Hahahahaha! Awesome. Honestly, as nonsensical as it was, that may be the best "cross the street" joke I've ever heard.
i know someone who teaches 5th grade in HISD and she tells me she has parents who are upset with her b/c they have to help their kids with homework. they're always complaining about how it's not their job to teach their own kid. man, and they wonder why the kid's life is basically going down the toilet.
thats why whenever i have to do something with little kids, I keep a spare michael jackson mask in my back pocket, just in case i need order.
I kept thinking back to "Seinfeld" when Jerry went to speak to the school doing his comedy bit which was scheduled to run one hour. His first joke was "Hey kids...what's the deal with homework?" . Boooooooo... !!!! He was going to have smart George on but George had sex and turned back into dumb George. George was going to do some science demo but, when he showed up, he grabbed the glass test tubes and held them up to his head saying "Take me to your leader". Jerry then knew dumb George was back. Classic. Sorry...and sorry about your bad day. Carry on.
Why have a career day for 5 year olds? I mean at that age every kid wants to be president, an athlete or someone in uniform it seems anyways. I know we had a career day like our Junior year in high school which makes more sense. By this time students know what thye're good at and what careers they may be interested in.
Henceforth, AB will now stand for "Another Baker" Damn buddy...talk about a tough crowd. I'd love to have you over for a career day w/ my 10th graders, but their humor is so 'sophomoric". Seriously though, sorry to hear about the tough day, and I can GUARANTEE that my sophomores would love to have you as a carrer day speaker. Hey Clutch Crew...Can AB get a sticky on this one. I think he earned it.
The actual version of the jokoe is supposed to be "why did the skeleton not cross the road? Because he had no guts". I teach 5th graders, they would have gotten it right. But I do like the 5year old version better.
My official thanks. I learned alot. Chuckie, most of the kids wanted to be a Doctor, Policeman or Spiderman. FT- LOL @ "Another Baker" Castor- I expected "no guts" too but clearly she took editorial liberties. thx guys
