1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

Actions You Won't See in the Debates -- But Should

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by thumbs, Sep 25, 2004.

  1. thumbs

    thumbs Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2002
    Messages:
    10,225
    Likes Received:
    237
    I am looking forward to the debut of American Buffoonery -- I mean the Presidential debates. Here are a sample of responses to questions I would love to see -- but won't.

    Mr. Kerry: "Uh, good question. Uh, (moistening index finger and raising it into the air), may I have a moment to see which way the wind blows tonight?

    Mr. Bush: "Uh, good question. Uh, may I have a moment to confer with Dad and Mr. Cheney?

    All I ask is that posters be fair in this thread. If you lampoon one candidate, you must try just as hard to nail the other. It's fun...and easy....and you should try this at home.
     
    #1 thumbs, Sep 25, 2004
  2. No Worries

    No Worries Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1999
    Messages:
    32,938
    Likes Received:
    20,736
    GWB: "You know thinking back on it. I think God said 'You know what would real funny. What if you appointed a terrorist as the intern prime minister of Iraq. What a hoot that would be.' Maybe I should of paid a little closer to attention to what God said that day."

    Kerry: "As I spending Christmas in Cambodia this year, I keep thinking to myself, 'Man, has this place changed or what.'"

    GWB: "I am sure glad that there was not a wacko for President when I was is the Guard. I might have got sent to Vietnam and got my ass shot at. Boy that would have sucked."
     
    #2 No Worries, Sep 25, 2004
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2004
  3. bamaslammer

    bamaslammer Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Messages:
    3,853
    Likes Received:
    4
    GWB: "Uhhhh...mmmm (squint).....mmmm. I don't call him Uncle, now, but he always has a suggestion.
    Mr. Kerry: "Well, when I was in Vietnam....." (Moderator interrupts) "I didn't marry these women because they were rich....it was because they had such......enormous....tracts of land."
     
    #3 bamaslammer, Sep 25, 2004
  4. rimbaud

    rimbaud Member
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 1999
    Messages:
    8,169
    Likes Received:
    676
    Has anybody heard of "No Debate" by George Farah? It essentially is a book about how the supposedly non-partisan Commission on Presidential Debates has ruined the whole thing because it is nothing more than a front for allowing both sides to restrict and control debates so that neither one will get caught off guard or actually have to debate the other. They basically agree beforehand what questions they will and will not answer and who can be involved in the debates, etc.. Even the town hall format. Pretty interesting stuff.

    It wasn't all new information for me, but it has behind the scenes stuff the public generally doesn't hear, including the secret agreement documents made by Bush-Clinton, Clinton-Dole, and Bush-Gore.
     
    #4 rimbaud, Sep 25, 2004
  5. thumbs

    thumbs Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2002
    Messages:
    10,225
    Likes Received:
    237
    Great point. All the spontaneity has been eliminated because they have the answers memorized to questions they already know are coming. The rule book for American Buffoonery 2004 is better than 50 pages, and that's without the side agreements.
     
    #5 thumbs, Sep 25, 2004
  6. GreenVegan76

    GreenVegan76 Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2003
    Messages:
    3,336
    Likes Received:
    1
    BUSH: Why the long head, John?
    (snickers and looks at crowd)

    KERRY: It's "Why the long face," dummy.
     
    #6 GreenVegan76, Sep 25, 2004
  7. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2002
    Messages:
    57,800
    Likes Received:
    41,240
    Moderator: "Candidates, what is your stand on the environment?"

    Kerry: "My fellow Americans, vote for the tree... uh, me. My roots are firm in the American fundament. We will grow and flourish together, and together we will nurture the forests and endangered beauty of this Great Nation. Going forward, one nation, in beauty. I live and grow to protect and serve our wonderful open spaces, from sea to..."

    Moderator: "Time, Senator Kerry. President Bush?"

    Bush: "Ha! Ha! John, you're so funny. America won't vote for trees, America votes for Bushes!"

    Moderator: "You still have 3 minutes, Mr. President."

    Bush: "What? Oh... uh, trees, bushes, the war on terror is a serious thing. Serious decisions. Decisions must be made. Steadfast. Strong. I am, uh... Prime Minister Blair was saying the other... "

    Moderator: "Time, Mr. President."
     
    #7 Deckard, Sep 25, 2004
  8. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Messages:
    59,079
    Likes Received:
    52,748
    Actions You Won't See in the Debates -- But Should
    _________________________________________________


    [​IMG]
     
    #8 KingCheetah, Sep 25, 2004
  9. thumbs

    thumbs Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2002
    Messages:
    10,225
    Likes Received:
    237
    Additional responses:

    Mr. Kerry: "These flip-flops are made for walking on slippery shores, but, oh my goodness, where are my footprints?

    Mr Bush: "Uh, these iron boots are made for walkin' in green pastures and tall cotton, but, oh my goodness, what's that smell?"
     
    #9 thumbs, Sep 25, 2004
  10. rockbox

    rockbox Around before clutchcity.com

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2000
    Messages:
    22,891
    Likes Received:
    12,685
    I just someone to say "I call bullsh!t on that"
     
    #10 rockbox, Sep 25, 2004
  11. thumbs

    thumbs Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2002
    Messages:
    10,225
    Likes Received:
    237
    ??
     
    #11 thumbs, Sep 25, 2004
  12. francis 4 prez

    francis 4 prez Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2001
    Messages:
    22,025
    Likes Received:
    4,552

    i wish one of them would walk up and pretend to stumble and say "oh excuse me, i almost tripped on that huge pile of crap my opponent just put forth."


    i'll vote for whichever one says it first.
     
    #12 francis 4 prez, Sep 26, 2004
  13. GladiatoRowdy

    GladiatoRowdy Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2002
    Messages:
    16,596
    Likes Received:
    496
    I think what he was trying to say was that he would like one of the candidates to say "I call bull$hit on that one."
     
    #13 GladiatoRowdy, Sep 26, 2004
  14. rockbox

    rockbox Around before clutchcity.com

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2000
    Messages:
    22,891
    Likes Received:
    12,685

    Yeah. That's what I meant.:D
     
    #14 rockbox, Sep 26, 2004
  15. Sishir Chang

    Sishir Chang Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2000
    Messages:
    11,064
    Likes Received:
    8
    #15 Sishir Chang, Sep 27, 2004
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)

Share This Page