WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR PRESIDENT GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China. To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there.. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York. A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty --- starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
Yes, I think I have seen this one before. What would really be great would be if Bush's next speech began with the following phrase: "My fellow Americans, may I present to you, the 2004 World Series Champion Houston Astros". Unfortunately, we have as much chance of hearing that as we do hearing Bush pronounce the word "nuclear" correctly.
Piiishaw! Haven't you seen Bowling For Columbine?? Micheal will have his buddies from the Michigan Militia group at the ready and armed to the teeth...The fat unemployed dude with the AK-47 is a MONSTER, he could take on an entire division of Army pukes single handed!
Should I stock crappie in my pond? No. In most cases crappie tend to overpopulate a pond, resulting in many small crappie and no larger ones. This also tends to undermine the balance of predator to prey fish in your pond, which leads to poor fishing.
W: "And a final note. I'd like to say thanks to my good friend, MadMax and wish him luck as emperor of the new world...and good luck with that harem, too, Max!"
I might be wrong, but here's an official document about foreign aid. http://fpc.state.gov/documents/organization/31987.pdf (it's a pdf, you need acrobat) On page 19 (using the acrobat page counter), there's a graph that shows total foreign aid for 2004 and it even shows how much is going to Iraq. It seems to come out to about 45 to 46 billion total. Even if we stop all foreign aid, not just the to "unwilling" nations, it will still take about 3 years to pay for the Iraqi war to date, but with another 25 billion being asked for and assuming we will be there for a few years, it could take a lot longer than that. I hate these things, they're usually written by some dude who doesn't know jack about anything, then he emails it out and a bunch of people take everything on there to be fact and keep sending them out.
This is the only day I have to spend at 'work' while surfing the net. I quit my other job to teach 7th, 8th, and 9th graders from the inner city math.
