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CHESS WORLD SCANDAL!!! Artificial Intelligence, Anal Beads & Elon Musk

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Xerobull, Sep 14, 2022.

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  1. Xerobull

    Xerobull ...and I'm all out of bubblegum
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    Chess world rocked by rumours of anal beads and artificial intelligence

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    The world of chess has been rocked by the biggest scandal in years and it involves artificial intelligence and anal beads.

    Last week, world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, withdrew from a major tournament with a $350,000 prize money after his unexpected defeat by underdog Hans Niemann.

    Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that Niemann had cheated. The tweet was accompanied by a video of Portuguese soccer manager, José Mourinho, saying, ‘I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.’

    Other big names in the sport declared Niemann’s play ‘sus’, suspicions were raised further when Niemann admitted to cheating twice previously. Chess.com issued a statement that it had banned Niemann from its site over his alleged cheating.

    Chess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads.

    ‘Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves,’ tweeted one user.

    As the chess world debated whether it was possible to cheat in chess with vibrating anal beads, Twitter’s favourite troublemaker Elon Musk, joined in on the debate.

    The Tesla CEO reacted to a clip shared by another Twitter user, which showed someone discussing the possibility of anal beads being used.

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    ‘That’s probably a good one right, an anal bead would probably beat the thing, the engine. I don’t know, I really don’t know,’ said the person in the video.

    Musk reacted to the video with an adapted version of a quote from philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. He tweeted: ‘Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt).’



    Chess fans speculated that anal beads could transmit messages from an accomplice who was watching the game being broadcast live online and consult an AI to transmit the perfect move.

    However, it’s unclear if Niemann could be beating the tournament’s anti-cheating precautions, which include a 15-minute delay in the broadcast of moves and radio-frequency identification checks.

    Apart from the ridiculous anal beads theory, people suspect that Niemann got his hands on Carlsen’s game plan ahead of time, thereby anticipating his surprise opening.

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    Niemann has vehemently denied that he cheated against Carlsen and even went so far as to say that he would play fully naked to prove it. Other chess pros have defended Niemann, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’.

    Among the 10 players participating in the Sinquefield Cup, Niemann was the lowest rated and the least likely to defeat the world champion who was on a two-year unbeaten streak.

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    ~bzzzzz~ checkmate! (Credits: Getty Images)

    While we might not know if anal beads are a liability to the integrity of chess, advances in material science and artificial intelligence could mean checking for ingenious inventions like ‘smart clothes’ that transmit messages through the fabric.
     
    #1 Xerobull, Sep 14, 2022
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  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy QUEEN ANON

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    @tinman would know if you can use anal beads to cheat or not. And he always has Elon's fingers up his ass.
     
    #2 Ziggy, Sep 14, 2022
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  3. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    I have no words

    But I guess for 350K . . . anything goes

    Rocket River
     
    #3 Rocket River, Sep 14, 2022
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  4. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    Why not wear a toe ring or something?
     
    #4 Invisible Fan, Sep 14, 2022
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  5. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost Member
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    I've actually been kinda following this.

    The working theory that has gained the most traction is that Carlsen set a trap to see if there was any foul play by Niemann, and Niemann sprung it, so once that happened Carlsen knew something was up and so he withdrew. This has almost never happened voluntarily, especially from someone of Carlsen's stature, and last time it did it happen was because of a cheating allegation that proved to be true.

    It goes that Carlsen started the match with an unorthodox and obscure set of moves, something that almost no opponent would prepare for in a match against Carlsen, and so when Niemann made the perfect countermoves to it, it told Carlsen that Niemann had somehow gotten ahold of Carlsen's tournament prep (whether this was due to a leak in Carlsen's camp or because of foul play on the part of Niemann we do not know).

    High level chess play is all about memorization of board states and how to play against/with them. In post game interviews Niemann acted very suspicious in that he 1) struggled to explain his thought process for most of the moves he made during the match and 2) admitted he had studied the exact super obscure line Carlsen played just the night before and knew it was so unlikely for him to have done that as to call it a 'miracle'.
     
    #5 DonnyMost, Sep 14, 2022
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2022
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  6. DonkeyMagic

    DonkeyMagic Member
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    Because it’s not as fun
     
    #6 DonkeyMagic, Sep 14, 2022
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  7. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS

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    @JoseAltuve
     
    #7 boomboom, Sep 14, 2022
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  8. TimDuncanDonaut

    TimDuncanDonaut Member

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    The guy hit rock bottom, to resort to vibrating beads. Bummer for his opponent. A tricky cheat, butt at least chess fans cracked the case.
     
    #8 TimDuncanDonaut, Sep 14, 2022
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  9. ThatBoyNick

    ThatBoyNick Member

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    Can I get a TLDR
     
    #9 ThatBoyNick, Sep 14, 2022
  10. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    Cheater was exposed by over analyzing shady moves.

    #4BeadChess
     
    #10 Invisible Fan, Sep 14, 2022
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  11. J.R.

    J.R. Member

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    Dude put vibrating anal beads in his poop chute to win chess.

    Anal-beads-dude playing chess, these other suckers playing checkers :D

    “'If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it,' he added.

    'I don't care. Because I know I am clean. You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don't care. I'm here to win and that is my goal regardless.'”
     
    #11 J.R., Sep 14, 2022
  12. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    PED: Performance Enhancing Dong
     
    #12 Buck Turgidson, Sep 14, 2022
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  13. STR8Thugg

    STR8Thugg STR8Thugg Member

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    How would playing naked disprove the anal beads theory? Is someone going to be simultaneously performing a cavity search?

    Don't think I wanna see all that.
     
    #13 STR8Thugg, Sep 14, 2022
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  14. Sajan

    Sajan Member

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    I heard tinman volunteered.
     
    #14 Sajan, Sep 14, 2022
  15. the11mingdynasty

    the11mingdynasty Member

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    We need to get the ‘stros on this asap.
     
    #15 the11mingdynasty, Sep 14, 2022
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  16. Roscoe Arbuckle

    Roscoe Arbuckle Member

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    I recall Nigel Mansell vs Gary Kasparov in college, followed by Kasparov vs. Big Blue.

    I guess there's a way to shock your anus for a clue, and I guess I'd be open to the thought if it earned me 350k.

    What I do know is I get my butt kicked every time I face even a remote professional. I know the game, but the concept of watching folks know how to win 5-6 moves in advance? I envy that. It's pretty cool.
     
    #16 Roscoe Arbuckle, Sep 15, 2022
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  17. robbie380

    robbie380 ლ(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ლ)
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    I only follow chess casually, but poor Hans having to deal with this garbage. No one thought he cheated during the game and then Magnus drops out of the tourney with a cryptic message. Now Hans is left with all the shrapnel. Hans is a strange dude and he did cheat online when he was 12 and 16 but he's never been shown to be a cheater over the board in real life.

    There was also zero indication that Magnus has his opening prep leaked or stolen. It's just a wild online theory that has no basis.

    Bottom line is Magnus needs to make a comment and Hans is getting absolutely screwed because of this.
     
    #17 robbie380, Sep 15, 2022
  18. PhiSlammaJamma

    PhiSlammaJamma Member

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    The penal implant would have a higher win outcome... as it already has a brain.
     
    #18 PhiSlammaJamma, Sep 15, 2022
  19. AroundTheWorld

    AroundTheWorld Member

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    Couldn't make this story up if one tried.
     
    #19 AroundTheWorld, Sep 15, 2022
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  20. rocketsjudoka

    rocketsjudoka Member

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    First thing I thought when I read the story is “how soon do the rest of MLB accuse the Stros of doing this”.
     
    #20 rocketsjudoka, Sep 15, 2022
    Buck Turgidson, Slyonebluejay, Roscoe Arbuckle and 1 other person like this.
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