Sounds like a lovely mom and the kind of person that made the world better. Also sounds like you were a great son to them bc you appreciated and cared for them.
so sorry to hear. i can't fathom what you're going through, but that was a very difficult read. i wish you and your family stay strong and have have patience through these difficult times.
Sorry for your loss. Currently going through a rough time right now with my dad. He just got out of the hospital after being there 4 months. Stuck in a bed recovering from surgery and other pre-existing conditions that he had to be kept there for. My mom has been a warrior through all this, but she is struggling also with all this having to take care of my dad. Praying for you, brother.
I lost my Dad very suddenly in a freak accident right in front of me and my family about two years ago. I'd still take that over watching him suffer. My heart really goes out to you Surfguy. That's a whole lot you've had to deal with.
I’m sincerely sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing. Making me tear up as I type this. All my best to you. Stay strong, man.
Thank you for sharing, your parents sound awesome - and you will always have the memories of growing up with 2 amazing folks. I am sorry for your loss. DD
You've given us moving accounts of just how special they both were and your loss, your grief, as you put it so well, is unfathomable. I lost my own years ago. We're left with what remains, keeping them alive in our hearts, where they'll never leave.
Thanks, everyone! It really does help me feel a little better. This community does really feel like family in a lot of ways as we have a lot of shared experiences and/or grief-stricken tragedies in our past. I've read about some of you experiencing the loss of a parent or both parents in this thread. I couldn't imagine experiencing an unexpected, sudden loss of a parent in front of me. Or, up until a few months ago, physically losing a parent. A harsh reminder that life is fragile. I never thought I would lose both parents in such a short span. It's very tough. I've had my sudden outbursts of crying when I think of some memory. I've also laughed at some memories my friends shared discussing their experiences with my parents. Only time will help lessen this pain. In death as in life, my parents have taken care of me and I will always be grateful for that. Even typing this stuff makes me well up in tears. Thanks again.
I am so sorry brother. Can’t imagine going through that. Lost my dad out of the blue just about 1 year ago last December. Losing two parents wow, please just hang in there and cherish the time you spent together
Some people don't have the best or functional type relationships with their parents or immediate family. My father was abusive to my mother and siblings while i was growing up and i held onto a lot of rage and frustration about it. He grew up during the ravages of post WW2 reconstruction so i was literally 2 generations removed from him. It all changed when he was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer on 9/11. The changes to both his physical and mental makeup was quite dramatic and somewhat humbling for him and everyone else. I had a lot of pain and resentment at the time, but I was reminded of a Star Trek episode where a surrogate parent for a main character sought asylum with her in his dying days only to reveal that he was a war criminal. So that character shut him out but had to dig deep down to understand and reconcile with a past he only wanted to share with his surrogate child. So I drove him to chemo when during breaks in college, pitched in a little during his worse days, and tried to ask him about his past despite our communication gaps. It gave me a little more compassion and understanding of what he went through growing up and what his ideas of duty belonged to. He wasn't an evil or entirely virtuous man, but he had his principles that were loftier than the average person and it was a deep factor in his successes. It helped me understand his flaws and ultimately understand some of my own. How we respond to the final moments of a loved one's lives is never perfect or storybooked. We have denial, emotional hangups over our own mortality, or past baggage that we can't seem to bury until it's too late. My sister couldn't get past her experience and didn't want to reconcile or confront anything during his five year battle. She's still going through issues with her past and is more or less blaming a ghost for her current lingering issues. Time really is short. Sometimes we're blessed with great memories, sometimes we're not and feel deeply aggrieved by them. Either way, making peace with those final moments while your loved one is still alive is incredibly hard but ultimately uplifting. Whether it ends up like a trainwreck or a hugging sobfest, you ultimately tried, and it's one less thing you endlessly dissect during a sleepless night. I imagine your experience was more positive, so I guess take my experience as yours being a blessed one. One that you shouldn't take for granted. Celebrate their memories with your loved ones and as a value to strengthen.
Words don’t help. One’s faith truly starts when logic ends; because one’s emotions will change with time. Showing your parents honor in memories and sharing their legacy makes them part of yours. Cherish that smell, touch, sound or moment that makes the flood of their love come back. Always remember just as much as you loved them someone now loves you. Teaching someone to live in the moment and giving to others while being responsible for one’s self and family now and in the future; is the best way to honor your parents and yourself. If you remember them, they are never really lost because they are with you. This is how I deal with loss of my parents. Prayers and time.
