In a gesture of good will, I am not going to connect the dots. I am just not making the joke here. It's not for fear of your countless firearms. It's an olive branch.
Well, I wouldn't have thought of it if: A. the a-hole hadn't frozen my car's door locks with his..... B. I had drank far too much to think rationally.
I actually almost got fired two days ago--I work as a night auditor at a hotel and apparently it's not cool to make out with your girlfriend when people might be checking in/out. Was that wrong? If I knew that something like this was FROWNED upon...
Well, I wasn't a union member, just a ballot counter, though the irony of being fired by the Teamsters is pretty rich. The job itself was stultifyingly moronic. Take a ballot, yays go in a pile over here, nays over there. Most of the other counters were union members, and most wore some sort of ribbon on their shirt which apparently attested to their actual union shop (shop?), but it was all a bit of a mystery to me. My mistake, if getting fired from that place was a mistake, was to ask about the various meanings of the ribbons. I did so very innocuously, and in the break room on my free time at that! Well! Anyone with that sort of unbridled curiosity must be some sort of a plant with a nefarious scheme (plant from where, the electrician's union? I mean, come on) to queer their election (more irony here), so these monkeys actually had a bit of a show trial, retrieving samples of my work which were suddenly somehow rife with errors, yays in the nay pile, nays in the yay pile, slime in the ice machine and everything else. So, there you have it, bounced right out because I couldn't tell yay from nay. That was by no means my only firing, by the way, just the most irony-laden.
I got taken off the schedule without being notified of it. I was working at Albertsons (when they still existed in Htown a few years ago) as a part-time employee, but actually pulling full-time hours and then some. They got mad at me because I would always stay late and catch up on some things so that the guys in the morning wouldn't be even more behind than they usually were. So I think that after the fourth or fifth week that I pulled 45 hours, they just took me off the schedule for the rest of the summer (which was like 2 weeks anyway). And the most aggrivating thing was, I had taken friday and saturday off to move back up to austin because school was starting. I call sunday morning on my way back in town because I was still out in Waller when I should have been at work already, and the department manager said, "you're not on the schedule for today" BULLSH!T I'M NOT. I told them I have a copy of the schedule in my hand and I'm coming in to work so help me God. So we compromised and said that was my last day.
Maybe This Guy reads the board. Thief dumps on his truck Excrementating evidence? By CARY CASTAGNA, POLICE REPORTER As far as acts of vandalism go, this one was pretty crappy. Auctioneer Terry Wachniak awoke Tuesday morning to find someone had smeared human feces inside his 1997 Ford pickup truck and on the exterior walls of his Wolseley home. "He used his hands to do some primitive artwork on my window as well as to my building," Wachniak, of Wachniak Auctions, told The Sun yesterday. "My vehicle was abused in not a very nice way at all and my building was smeared with the evidence." Besides leaving the mess involving bodily waste, the culprit also stole about $500 worth of "odds and ends" -- including some collectible ornaments -- from the glove compartment in the half-ton truck, Wachniak said. Most importantly, the vandal apparently left his fingerprints in the human excrement. However, under department policy, Winnipeg police don't take fingerprints from vehicles, said spokesman Const. Bob Johnson. "We don't fingerprint vehicles because it makes no sense to fingerprint vehicles," Johnson said, explaining a vehicle could have numerous sets of fingerprints. "Finding a fingerprint on a car doesn't mean he's responsible for the damage." Wachniak disagrees in this case. "It can't be anybody else. Who else would be touching and smearing that stuff?" he asked. "The guy was creating works of art." Wachniak said he has a pretty good idea of who may be responsible because there was a man in his driveway Monday night who seemed to be "off his medication." The man, who appeared to be harmless, was white, in his 40s, about 5-foot-10 and 200 pounds, wearing a plaid pullover shirt, Wachniak said. Police have taken a report of the incident. Wachniak is disappointed cops won't be investigating the incident any further because he said whoever is responsible is a disturbed individual who should be arrested. "That is somebody who is crying out for help and needs it," Wachniak said, adding he's certain he is not the first victim. "And if no one is looking for him, I'm not going to be the last."
I was fired from a Headhunter Agency back in 2000. Funny. I was fired from a headhunter job, too. Wasn't doing that bad, but I was screwing around and admittingly didn't like the company. I got even by calling one of the accounts that I had placed and told the guy how little they really knew about engineering and technical employment. I was tight with the employer and had made a personal sales call and gotten the account for the first time. BTW I felt like they deserved this because they were jerks. They fired the secretary, just because she was friendly with me. Also they had told me to just toss the resumes from foreign born engineers from Asia, Africa etc. in the trash can as the Tex employers just wanted good ol boys. I ignored this. Two other head hunter jobs I just left without giving notice. Once in the middle of the day. Cold calling is miserable. I had several other jobs that I quit in the middle of the day. I think everyone should do this at least once in their younger years. Maybe fewer people would stay for years in jobs they can't stand. Law clerk, title company clerk, and others. I often times quit right after I talked them into giving me another chance. The title company job was hilarious in that I had just talked them out of firing me for poor perfomance the afternoon before when due to getting too stoned, I had just pretended to work and had virtually no production. That was better than pretending that I had actually run some title searches. Don't you think? God knows several of my coworkers who gotten just as stoned at lunch probably faked those searches. Doesn't make you feel too safe when buying a house, does it? Another job. Was sent by a temporary agency to a god forsaken factory. Several of the permanent workers were working with slings and casts and had been injured on the job. Our job was to wade around with rubber boots, without masks and push some foul smelling liquid that had spilled on the floor to the drains. After a few minutes of sloshing around, I asked one of the permanent guys, who had a sling, what the stuff was. He said: "I don't know, but it is eating though the concrete floor real fast". At this point I felt that movie had gone far enough and I decided to save my brain cells, turn in my boots and leave.
Never been fired but I have really only had 2 full-time jobs in my life. When I got out of high school, I used to work at a grocery store during the summers and one year I did not get hired because the store manager there was there the previous summer and he didn't care for me. So, that could probably count. When I worked a bank job, I was so shaky in the beginning that I got my probation extended another month. Meanwhile at my current job, I could probably come in stark naked and they would still not fire me because I have such a specialized and important role for the company. Job security is a good thing.
If you haven't been fired, you probably just haven't been in the job force that long. It is a cold, cold world out there in corporateland: If something goes bad, the dudes above you will use you as a scapegoat to cover their own ass, even if your actions were tacitly approved by them beforehand. Some of them will tell you do something so stupid you just can't make yourself do it even though your job is at stake. They will cut the jobs of people that really do productive work to make their budget when they do nothing productive and make 3 times as much money. They will find a reason to fire you if you are getting some seniority that requires more pay if they think they can replace you with someone who will work for less. They will find a reason to fire you if they think you could replace them for less pay than they make. They will fire you if you happen to become too ill to be productive or if you are costing to much on the company health plan. Once I was fired by my boss because he said the client rep wanted me off the job and I had only had one short all-business conversation with her. When I tried find out how I had offended her he wouldn't give me an answer, so I guess I'll never know. All of these things have happened to me, my family or close friends. You should be aware and prepared because it will happen to you too. Especially in a non-unionized, right-to-work state, though all of the above incidences were white-collar jobs. FYI
glynch, you worked as a headhunter too? That explains a lot. Totally agree. You haven't lived until you've walked away from a lame job in the middle of the day with no warning whatsoever. It's very invigorating in a 'take this job and shove it' kind of way. I've done that 3 different times. Life is too short to stress over a job you hate, especially when you're young.
