MLB.com: Astros festive clubhouse is comedy central

This article had me laughing out loud... especially the parts about Chavez pretending to be the man all the media wanted to talk to, and Ausmus (who's mere presence is more vital to this team than his game) imitating Kent after he shaved his goatee to resemble Kent's "p*rn" mustache.

Good read:
Clemens part of festive clubhouse


Clemens part of festive clubhouse
Astros keeping egos in check amidst Rocket mania



Jim Molony

CHICAGO -- Houston backup catcher Raul Chavez was toweling off in the corner of the visitors' clubhouse at Wrigley Field on Wednesday when he looked up to see more than two dozen members of the media shoulder-to-shoulder near his corner of the tiny clubhouse.
"OK, I'm ready for your questions," cracked Chavez, who didn't play and thus was little more than a spectator to the big story of the day, which was Roger Clemens and his eighth victory of the season.

But the media throng, some of whom probably couldn't tell you the difference between a Patek Philippe and Freddie Patek, never looked up from their constant vigil around Clemens' cubicle.

A little while later, catcher Brad Ausmus, who had just shaved his goatee off except for the mustache, waved to Jeff Kent as the second baseman headed toward the clubhouse door. The Astros often tease Kent about his mustache, and Ausmus mimicked him perfectly as his teammates roared. Kent barked a reply, but he too, was laughing.

In a sport with no shortage of enormous egos, some teams might take exception to all of the attention and adulation being heaped on Roger Clemens these days, but it is clear the Houston Astros have humility to match their talent. They can laugh at themselves, and the growing media circus that follows the Rocket, and that could go a long way in making what Houston manager Jimy Williams calls "a very special time" by Clemens even more special to all of the Astros, from Clemens to Chavez.

Clemens mania is reaching epidemic levels in Houston these days, but his teammates haven't let things go to their heads. The other superstars in the clubhouse, namely first baseman Jeff Bagwell, center fielder Craig Biggio and Kent, are doing what they've done for years: hitting the cover off the ball and not getting distracted.

They're keeping their sense of humor, a commodity as hard to find as left-handed setup men, and it makes this unique arrangement with the future Hall of Famer work.

Clemens essentially gets carte blanche with the Astros. He doesn't have to make all of the road trips, a concession that might not sit as well on other teams as it has with the Astros. And yet they even joke about that.

"Why not? You only need starting pitchers every five days," left fielder Lance Berkman said.

Every time Clemens pitches, the clubhouse becomes as packed as Churchill Downs on Derby day. But no one on the Astros is complaining. Quite the opposite. Clemens has more than held up his end of the bargain, which is looking more and more like one of the best in baseball this season.

The Astros have already had nine sellouts, with four of them on days Clemens has pitched. Attendance in Houston is on a record pace.

"It's been crazy since the day we signed Roger," Bagwell said. "The whole city has followed him his entire life, from high school, college, and in the pros, so it was a huge deal when he signed and he came with all of that mystique. But you know what? He backs it up. He has delivered and it's been a lot of fun to watch."

With his typical Clemens-esque performance against the Cubs (7.0 IP, 5 H, 1 R, 2 BB, 5 K) the 41-year-old right-hander tied Phil Niekro for 14th place on the all-time wins list. He also nailed down the rubber game against the team to beat in the National League Central. Houston has taken four of the first five of the season series from the Cubbies, who fell a season-low 4 1/2 games behind first-place Cincinnati's pace with the 5-1 defeat.

"It would be a surprise to me if he has a day when he doesn't pitch like this," NL Player of the Month Berkman said. "We've gotten used to seeing him do this what, 10-12 times now, you start to expect it every time out."

Barring any change in the rotation order, Clemens will get seven more starts before the All-Star break, and barring a complete collapse, he will likely be the starter at the July 13 game at Minute Maid Park in Houston.

Clemens says there's too much time before the Midsummer Classic to consider that possibility now. Like his teammates, he is focused on a bigger prize.

"These guys are all working hard and I'd like to see them have the success as well," Clemens said. "We really need to get this big guy (Andy Pettitte) back too. We've got a good team here and I think it's going to be a fun year."

They've had fun at the Cubs' expense so far and yet that rivalry remains a serious topic for the Astros. The Astros were as quick to downplay the defending division champions' current plight as they were with the wisecracks.

"This was a nice way to start the road trip," Bagwell said. "But we all know, the Cubs aren't going to go away. They're doing it without (Kerry) Wood, (Mark) Prior and Sammy (Sosa) now. When they get everybody healthy, they're going to be right there."

These Astros might be right there with them. Having a grand old time.