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My wife is cheating on me.

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Xerobull, Apr 1, 2011.

  1. Honey Bear

    Honey Bear Contributing Member

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    I hold several group therapy sessions for women who enjoy cheating on their husbands and it's quite jaw dropping to see how they justify it. The weak hearted will try to convince themselves that this is an April Fool's joke, that it shouldn't be taken seriously, but the truth is it is a very real issue affecting 65% of American relationships.

    And what do people do about it most of the time? They look the other way.


    Well today is the day I want you to become a man. Take this nerdy bookworm of a librarian and smack her around. That will get the fire burning. The fire that you could not sexually fulfill on your own. Use pepper spray so it burns just like it burnt your loins when she made out with her latest flavor of the week. You might think it's only 1 guy, but I kid you not, there's normally some sort of carousel going around and the married women is the pony who all the kids want to ride on. Your wife is a spitting image of what is known in my circles as "Samantha from in the Sex in the City" complex.

    I hope this helped. You know you can reach me on my private line anytime on the weekdays before 7 pm and after 10 am.
     
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  2. Oski2005

    Oski2005 Contributing Member

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    Remember when April Fools was about pranks and jokes and not just elaborate lies?
     
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  3. conquistador#11

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    Sleep with her imaginary friend. That's what I would do.

    Nothing says Aprils fools like a fake serious relationship thread.
     
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  4. Mr. Brightside

    Mr. Brightside Contributing Member

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    Yes, I remember when people upheld the true spirit of April Fools. Now it has turned into a mean spirited holiday. I personally blame immigrants.
     
  5. dback816

    dback816 Member

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    Remember when people posted on the internet for interesting discussions and didn't try so hard to get attention?

    Ah how brief that was.
     
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  6. Uprising

    Uprising Contributing Member

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    lol....i had to re-read the april fools part like 4 times. Confused about what you meant....fooling us....are you said that out loud to your woman after you said you felt sick...
     
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  7. QdoubleA

    QdoubleA Member

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    @Xerobull
    Can't rep you anymore but go look at the first letter of the first word of every line the the first letter of the last word of every line.
     
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  8. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    Ok, since 4.1 is over...

    Thanks for the heartfelt thoughts, those of you who were roped in and offered support. And apologies if you were offended.

    I've been cheated on in a long term relationship, and I try to put myself in a character's shoes whenever I write. Maybe that's why folks bought it.

    It was fun to watch the reactions. It was like a bunch of kids after a magic show. 'I can't figure it out!' 'Aw, I knew right away it was fake' 'Gasp!' 'I could do that!'

    Anyway, thanks to most of you for being good sports. To the few who got a burr up their saddle- in the auld country, we would run aroun and cut the nipples off eh pepoles on Apral fool's deh, so yeh got off light.
     
    #88 Xerobull, Apr 2, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2011
  9. mikol13

    mikol13 Protector of the Realm
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    Awesome. Reading the OP, my heart sank. Terrible thing. Saw the April fools and still was like what??? Read your second post and was relieved. That would have sucked if true. Good stuff sir.
     
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  10. Angkor Wat

    Angkor Wat Member

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    Dude, make a thread and share stories!! It could be epic....


    I agree. This shouldn't be considered a April fools joke. There is no creativity. Anyone can just make up some random lies and pass it off as a prank. Such a cheap way to get a April fools fix.
     
  11. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    She's at it again. WTF do I do?
     
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  12. bumbum09

    bumbum09 Contributing Member
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    Maybe give it a day or two...?
     
  13. donkeypunch

    donkeypunch Contributing Member

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  14. B-Bob

    B-Bob "94-year-old self-described dreamer"

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    nm
     
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  15. Andre0087

    Andre0087 Member

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    Do you consider yourself a High Value Male?
     
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  16. jiggyfly

    jiggyfly Member

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    Watch how a real man does it.
     
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  17. Haymitch

    Haymitch Custom Title
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    Ask if you can watch
     
  18. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Contributing Member
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    Ask your wife’s boyfriend if you can invest in GME
     
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  19. donkeypunch

    donkeypunch Contributing Member

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    Like a cuckold...?
     
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  20. jiggyfly

    jiggyfly Member

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    Like?
     
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