Was there an original custody agreement (visitation, child support, etc.)? If so, it sounds like she has not lived up to her end of the bargain by refusing your attempts to see him. As long as you have lived up to your responsibilities (financial, etc.) then she should have a difficult time proving her case.
Thanks a bunch, guys. Appreciate the thoughts. For those that aren't aware, the divorce, (even though I never lived there) was finalized in Tennessee. Therefore, everything has to be done there. This has made everything exponentially worse. Tennessee, believe it or not, is worse than Texas with father's rights. I kid you not, my ex has been playing this whole thing since the day of our divorce. (she even told some friends of ours from day one that it was her intent to take my son away from me.) That said, I may be behind a little in child support, but I'm bringing every dime I have with me, if that is what her complaint is. I don't think she has any chance of taking my son away from me, but as a father, even having to go through this is nerve-racking. I don't care what rational perception is, even the thought that I could lose my son is reason to worry, regardless of the odds. Again, thanks guys.
Had you emailed me about this situation? I know I've corresponded with a couple of board members about their situations. I couldn't imagine losing my some more than I already have. Again, my prayers are with you.
my thoughts are with you bro.... one word of advice.....Keep your cool....don't let em rattle you or make you look like an idiot in front of the court. That will just make matters worse. best of luck to you. This is the most important fight you will ever be in.
Some background on me. I am a divorced Dad with one son who is 6. I have an ok relationship with his mom now but during the divorce it was tense and that was due in part to not agreeing to anything standard visitation wise. You must document everything which is out of the ordinary (denials of visitation, her partners comments, see if you can tape your phone conversations). I assume you dont have a visitation schedule set out in your divorce decree. I hope that you stave off this malicious attack right now and perhaps even setup some kind of visitation schedule at the same time. If not you are going to have to file for this. This is classic PAS behaviour (parental alienation syndrome) which is now starting to get recognized by the courts Check out all the sites Falcons Talon mentioned as well as my personal favorite http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ you are going to have to fight for your rights (you do have rights!) and the right of your son to know and love his father. Best of luck, prayers heading your way!
Thoughts and prayers are with you. Even if someone is a "good mother" otherwise, it's not nice to deprive a child of his own father. You should at least get regular visitation. I wish people would stop thinking about their own prejudices or conveniences, and think of what the kid really needs to complete his life.
Man, that's gotta be tearing you up inside. I'll keep you and your boy in my thoughts. Good luck, man.
Good luck Fatty. I know we've been out of touch, but my thoughts and prayers are with you. Drop my a line when you get back.
it sickens me that a woman can do this to a man. when there are so many fathers out there that could care less about there children. i know im one of them. my dad would probably go to court so he wouldnt have to see me.
Good luck as well Fatty. I was almost there with my wife (divorce), and the worst possibility to me was facing hardly little time with my daughters...By a pure miracle, Both her and I have reconciled 100% to the point we are now closer than ever! Right now, I'm still in Texas...She's in Tennessee (where I will move back in late June)...we actually went through the divorce proceedings there, but fired our lawyers at the last minute... the point is, I know how wretching it is to face losing serious time with a child...It is only fair to reach a custody agreement, and you DO have certain and regular rights to parenting...Fight on! You are in my prayers...
Update: Went to court in Memphis Thursday at 10:00. a.m. Spoke to the ex-wife about visitation while I was there. I told her anytime Friday was fine. She was uncharacteristically pleasant, and said she would find out when a good time would be for them and get back with me. At court, I got there, and my attorney wasn't there. Outside the courtroom, there were my exes two attorneys, my ex, her husband, and my ex's parents. Because my ex was seemingly nice the day before, I thought I'd break the ice. I walked up and said "well, I guess all we're missing is my attorney." Dead silence. I casually found another place to sit and wait. My attorney arrives, and we sit outside one area and they sit in another area. My attorney shows me what they want. $20,000. Ahem, cough. How the hell are they coming up with that number??? He goes over and comes back. OK, they were wrong on that figure. They want $10,000. Again how? We finally agreed that the figure was closer to a grand in back child support, with a college fund worth $2,200. Pretty much what I figured. So why were they coming back with those numbers? Ah...... Every time my attorney came back to me he kept saying they were willing to not have me pay anything and just let them adopt my son. I flatly said no each time. I also refused to pay for her attorney's fees for all this B.S., because, as I told my attorney, all they ever had to do was let me see my son, or try to work out an arrangement with me and it would've been handled. That pisses them off. They feel I should pay their attorney $2,000. They decide that they would like to see me in jail because of this. Now this is what is called "petition for contempt" on myself, so I'm going in there to explain why I didn't keep up, and "not being able to see my son" for some unGodly reason, is not a valid excuse. My Lawyer is able to slip in that this was originally a termination of parental rights hearing, which flustered the hell out of her attorney, and also that they have kept me out of his life for well over a year. The judge tells me to file my own petition. I pay Kathy the child support money, and the judge decides to meet halfway. 10 day suspended sentence. Which means all I have to do is set up the college fund in the next couple of weeks, and it is dismissed. BTW, have I mentioned that My ex has had my son call me "Jim" since about a month after the divorce, and has my son call the new guy Daddy? I've got hundred's more folks. Anyway, back to the visitation, both of our attorneys had agreed that both parties were allowing me to see my son after the hearing. After the hearing, however, they decide that my personal checks are not good enough, and we need to wire the money. My attorney leave court and do this. I call my ex afterwards-around 1:30 p.m. She tells me that my son has a doctor's appt. at 3:00, and she'll call me after that is finished. I'm livid with her, but I keep my composure. 3:30-I answer the phone. It's the new husband, who will from now on be known as "Dick". Dick tells me that since I didn't get back to them right after the hearing, they had made other plans. (REMEMBER, I'M IN MEMPHIS!) So they were really sorry, but they'd already spoken to their attorney, and since this wasn't a "Court Appointed" visitation, they didn't have to do anything. But, because they're such good-hearted folks, they are going to spend some time at a park about 30 miles outside of town for about 30-45 minutes. I can go with all of them if I want. I didn't realize this at the time, but the simple nature of their audacity now makes me think they were recording this to get a reaction. The funny part is, I've become so used to this crap that I took a deep breath and said "Can't you guys go do something by yourselves tonight and let me see my son?" They reply, "nope take it or leave it." We're seeing a movie after the park. We might let you do that too. Again, I took a deep breath and said, "how do I get to the Park?" He gave me directions, and I met them at about 5:30. Didn't particularly acknowledge them. Didn't have to. My son ran right up to me and we played over on one end of the park while the other two played frisbee. I did end up deciding to go to the movie with them. They were surprisingly amicable. My son asked if he could sit by me in another area of the theater, and they said yes. He sat through the first hour of "Home on the Range" before he fell asleep on my arm. Worth fighting for every last second of this crap. (BTW, the movie was attrocious... avoid at all costs!) Good aside: My attorney called me while I was waiting for them in the park. He was more furious at their stunt than I was. I mean he was yelling at me for not being madder. Either way, PETITION FOR CONTEMPT IS BEING FILED ON THEIR ASS ON MONDAY. Not being bitter, but it can't continue like this. I've tried the honest route. It doesn't work with these people, and that's a shame. Anyway, I'm sure there are typos and word errors throughout this explanation of my weekend, but I'm not in the spelling game anymore anyway so, And also..... My sincerest thanks, guys.
