okay, so i'm heating up the frying pan with some spray-on butter and about to cook some eggs. i like to throw the eggs on the pan when it's hot enough for the eggs to sizzle. now, i have NEVER done this before but for some reason, i decide i'd stick my finger on the pan to guage the temperature. next thing i know i'm dropping f- bombs like it's the end of the world. apparently, hot frying pans don't go well the skin. now i got a nice blister on the index and still burns while i'm typing this. anyone else wanna share a story about some incident that made you say to yourself, "WTF was i thinking?"
I did something like that last fall, I was messing aroud with a lighter. I was burning random stuff and I had a plastic bag and so I put it over the flame and obviously the glame melted the bad so it was dripping EXTREMELY hot liquid plastic. Well, I suffered from a brain fart too and I was holding the bag over my lap. It dripped right onto my pointer finger, and I was throwing f-bombs everywhere too. I had to peal the plastic off my finger ( it dried like instantly), it hurt so bad. I have a nasty scar from it. It is a bump and all smoothed off.
had bacon grease in a frying pan. go to crack an egg into it. tiny bit of egg drips into pan, a little grease flies off onto me, burns quite a bit but such minute amounts it went away quickly. i go into panic mode; however, and end up holding the egg higher up than before and drop the whole thing in there, grease splatters all over me thanks to the increased velocity of the egg hitting the pan. thank God i was wearing a shirt as it absorbed about 95% of the blow and thank God none got to my face but 3 sizable bits of grease landed on my right hand. F-bombs were dropped and then dropped some more, grease was frantically knocked off and cold water was run over hand. few hours later, 3 huge blisters on the hand, have to go get them drained at the student services building, scars still there 7 months later. story about me being stupid to tell everyone.
I once tried to make chocolate chip cookies without adding flour to the dough. Not nearly as painful as the previous brain farts, but it was rather embarassing to have my mother tell me that I had screwed up some damn cookies..
This was back in the 80's when big hair was coool. I had these bangs at a dinner party, and people were talking about things I simply wasn't interested in, so I started playing with my lighter. I noticed that if I placed the lighter just right, it would slowly rise up a follicle. I thought "COOL". And did it a couple more times. Then I hear another friend of mine, in an "oh so casual voice", Dude, your hairs on fire. Needless to say, I lost all but a half inch on the front of my forehead. Thank God they were the hair days and I could hide it.
one time i didnt like this kid, cause, like, he had money, but i was like, no way do you have money, you don't look rich and don't look like me. so like he had a weapons charge from a few years ago, so i figured, since he looks like a bad person and doesnt like me, im going to tell everyone that he keeps a gun in his room and is going to shoot me, and everyone will believe me because he looks like a bad person and ive say im a good person and im rich, but i actually look like im rich. but then my friends say that they need me to prove that he has a weapon in his room, and im like, yo just believe me holmes, and they are like, no way monsieur, you gotta prove it, i dont wanna get in trouble. so im like, screw you guys, im going to break in his room and beat him up and take his money, so i go in his place and beat him with a baseball bat, and mess the hell out of his place, and beat his kids and stuff, and take his money, and then i call my friends up, and they are like, did you find his gun? and im like, what are you talking about, i beat up the bad guy, and they are like, ok, but you were going in there because he had a gun and was going to shoot you, and im like, well, he was a bad guy, he deserved to get beat, im sure ill find the gun somewhere. and then my friends get all pissy and saying that im the bad guy, but screw them, now i got monies and they are just jealous cause i kicked the crap outta some guy, so i just call em out and say that im not their friends and they can suck my d*** and that they owe me money. but then like, the bad dudes relatives, or gang, or whatever (they look like him) start trying to hurt me, im like wtf, and they are evil and stuff, and my friends are saying i deserve it for making things worse, but they are d*** heads. and like i never found the gun, but that doesnt matter, cause he was a bad guy and i was the good guy. and my friends said i laid a major brainfart, and im like, what are you talking about, brains dont fart dude.
Ok here's another one, I'm with my family, my mom, dad, little sister, and myself, and we are going to go visit my brother and my sister-in-law out in Penn. My dad tells me to help my sister pack, and I say, "cmon, she's 12 years old, i'm sure she can pack for herself," and my dad says, just do it. So i go to her room and ask her if she can pack for herself, and she nods, so i figure I don't need to help her out. So we drive out to PA, and arrive at my brother's place near Lancaster, and everything is nice and all until night time when my lil sister opens her suitcase and its all stuffed animals! My dad is PO'd at me, but my sister-in-law is cool and says that my lil sis can just borrow some of her clothes. However, i my lil sis still needs underwear, so because I screwed up, i have to drive to the wal mart at 10pm to get her some underwear. Im going around and asking if anyone needs anything else, and my brother pulls me aside and asks if i can get some condoms for him. I ask my lil sister and she asks if i can get some candy for her because my brother is a health nut and has NO sugar in his house. On my way out, my mom asks me to get some vaseline, because it gets dry in Lancaster in the winter. So I get to the Wal Mart register at 10:30 and I have some lollipops, a pack of condoms, a tube of vaseline and a pair of little girl's underwear. So, an hour later I call my brother up from the police station...
The only thing worse than someone talking and using "like" in every other sentence, is someone that posts using "like" in every other run on sentence.
I have a rice steamer, and for some reason, I wanted to see how hot the lid was, so I put my hand on it . . . . Yeah, I think we all know how that went.
A couple of weeks ago, I was getting ready in the morning. I had a lot on my mind. So I put toothpaste on my toothbrush and proceeded to start brushing....only to find out that I had mistakenly put hair gel on my toothbrush. I started gagging and almost blew chunks.
Upon looking down and seeing a nail sticking out of my fully inflated tire - I removed the nail. But by doing so, I also removed all the air in the tire.
When I was 11 or so, I heard that if you cut all the oxygen off from a fire it will go out. So I tried an experiment wherein I would block off the top of a candle to see what would happen. Unfortunately, I hadn't stopped to consider the consequences of trying to block off the air with a paper towel. Next thing I know, the towel is ablaze, all the hairs on my arm had been singed off and there was a burned spot in the carpet where I had to stamp a fire out.
I did almost the exact same thing about two weeks ago. I was cooking with a skillet and for some odd reason I reached over and grabbed the side of the pan with my index finger and thumb. I rushed over to the sink and ran some cold water on it for about 2 minutes. No blister but it did hurt for a copuple of days.
Back when I thought I was athletic (high school), my friends and I were walking to the convenience store across the street from the high school. There were some guys smoothing out newly poured concrete in the store parking lot (actually the driveway). I don't remember whose bright idea it was, but somehow I had been challenged to jump and clear one of the newly smoothed panels (about a 7-8 foot jump graded uphill). Anyway, I get a running start, plant my foot just inches from the front edge of the panel and leap, easily clearing the panel by a foot...........only to land in the next panel ankle deep, which had just been smoothed prior to the one I had just jumped over. They were at a slightly different grade from each other and the sunlight had made it look like an older section of concrete. There were 7 hispanic gentlemen with various handheld tools glaring at me while I am trying to pull out my foot without losing my shoe. I thought i was gonna get a beatdown. A very embarrassing brainfart.
When I was a kid: -Felt so at home spending the night at a friend's house that I tried to put my dirty clothes in their laundry. -Was bored and put a piece of my pants between the blades of scissors (sideways), to try and see if it would wrinkle. Of course it got a hole cut in it. Now, I have lots of little incidents with touching hot plates (which look like cold plates), etc., but I work in a chemistry lab. Spending that much time with glassware and chemicals, something is bound to happen every once in a while.
