My Dad used to say the N word sometimes growing up but I never thought of him as being racist. I would always call him on it and say “you should not say that” or “that is not nice”. I didn’t like it and I thought it set a bad example for me as a kid growing up. It’s something I would never say in public. I may have said it in private a few times in my youth if I got mad in certain situations but I instantly regretted it knowing it’s wrong. I get how it was more common for older folk to grow up hearing it so they are more likely to use it in front of others. Now, to the kicker and irony of it all. My Dad has severe Alzheimer’s. He talks mostly in gibberish but sometimes mutters some coherent stuff and responds to simple questions. He went into a memory care assisted living facility for about 9 months where almost all the caregivers are black and some of the nicest people you could ever hope to care for your loved one(s). Recently, we were able to bring Dad back home to live because we have a wonderful black live-in caregiver living with and taking care of both my parents in their own home. She is on a yearly salary. She is a Godsend and we would be lost without her. She is just a wonderful human being and taking care of my parents is no small chore. They are in diapers, can’t walk, Dad must be hand fed, etc. . I always worried that Dad might say something bad given his dementia but I don’t think he has. I would say black people make up the majority of caregivers in this nation and they have my utmost respect for all they do. It’s not an easy job and they don’t make enough for the job they do imo. If Dad only knew then what he should know now if his brain still worked right.
