This time, it's L.A.'s very own T.J. Simers. (Notice the dateline tag on the story) YAHOOVILLE — I'm old enough to remember what Phyllis Diller looked like before plastic surgery, which reminds me of Houston, site of Super Bowl 38. Although frightful to look at in her early days, Phyllis was a hoot, once saying, "If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like." She's looking better these days, but then I'm also old enough to know just how old Phyllis is, so why bother? I mean, the wife is probably a good decade or two younger than Diller, and she stopped trying long ago, which brings me to Houston's makeover and the locals' almost frantic hope that anyone who comes here this week will leave just loving the place. Why bother? Are you going to schedule your next summer vacation in Houston? Crazy place. They've spent money on billboards here that read: "Put your smile on. Company's coming!" I think it would have been more appropriate had they read: "Put a smile on; you get to go home." Houstonians don't greet you here by saying, "Hello," but instead want to know right away, "What do you think of Houston?" My pat answer: "I think of Houston and I think of Enron." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOMERISM, AS you might expect in Yahooville, runs rampant. The local sports columnists have their mug shots in the newspaper — in each case with the city's skyline in the background. They run my picture in The Times, I'd have to think about filing for the witness protection program. On the front page of the Sunday Houston Chronicle, reporter Mike Tolson wrote: "When we wake up next Sunday to find ourselves in the eye of the hurricane, it will be hard to resist pridefully pointing out our latest accomplishment: No other American city has ever invested as much on sports stadiums in as little time, opening three pro facilities in 40 months for $1 billion." Tolson concluded his story by quoting Houston sports enthusiast Peter Coneway saying, "In Los Angeles, this would never have happened." All together now: "He's got that right." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- INSTEAD OF waiting until Sunday to pridefully point out Houston's latest accomplishment, officials called a news conference first thing Monday morning to brag about the city's new sports facilities. It was the first time in Super Bowl history a city's inferiority complex drew so much attention. "Houstonians love their city," said Robert McNair, owner of the Houston Texans, who paid $700 million to join the NFL fraternity. "When I saw what happened in Baltimore — they had developed an inferiority complex after losing their team, and St. Louis was on the verge of that. I just didn't want to see that happen in Houston. "All you got to do is watch television during the football season and all the NFL games, and you don't ever hear them mentioning Los Angeles." So, I asked McNair, while trying to keep a straight face, do you think L.A. is in danger now of having its own inferiority complex? "I don't know if that will be the case," McNair said, "but I would think at some point in time somebody has to think back and say, 'Gee, are we being forgotten? Is that having an impact on us?' You know, out of sight, out of mind." I guess he hadn't read his morning paper, and the giant tease at the top of the first page for the Los Angeles-hosted Golden Globes a night earlier. (Yikes, I'm starting to get defensive like a Houstonian). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUPER BOWL 38 would've been in L.A. this week had Eli Broad or Michael Ovitz accepted the NFL's offer of an expansion team for about $600 million — even though McNair was offering $650 million. McNair offered $700 million in exchange for the Houston Super Bowl, and a deal was struck. One thing became apparent during the expansion derby — L.A. had no answer for McNair, who not only had the Houston community behind him, but some who wished he had been born in L.A. If he owns the Sparks, I start going to their games. (I exaggerate, of course — it's Super Bowl week). McNair said he never worried about L.A., correctly figuring no one would marshal the forces required to meet the $1 billion-plus tab to buy a franchise and build a stadium. He also had the identity-challenged Houstonians on his side. They voted to raise car rental and hotel taxes to fund the construction of baseball and football stadiums. Later, another successful referendum provided the public funds for a basketball arena. Try that in L.A. "If the public doesn't vote that way, none of this happens in Houston," McNair said. "There's no way it could have been done financially without public funds." Like I said, try that in L.A. "Does the NFL have to be in Los Angeles?" McNair said. "No, I don't think we have to be in L.A. We have three teams in California, so the NFL is there. Until the L.A. community sees the value in the return of the NFL, I don't see it happening." That's bad news, of course, because it increases the chances of having to return here for another Super Bowl. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ASTRO OWNER Drayton McLane appeared at the morning news conference to join the brag-fest. I asked whether baseball was setting a bad precedent in approving the Boston parking lot attendant as the Dodgers' new owner when it appears he's penniless. "Frank McCourt and his family have been very successful in the Boston area and from what I understand, he has strong assets of his own," McLane said. "We've got to get this going and get the Dodgers in order, because they haven't been able to make any deals in the off-season." I'm sure the penniless guy will get on that right away.
Funny thing about it, he does sound defensive. He should just face it: LA sucks. Oh, it's a fun place to visit. And admittedly, Houston does not have the travel attractions. But which city is better? The one you'd rather visit, or the one you'd rather raise a family in? The one where you're neighbors are wacko, or generally friendly and honest? Hmm.
I don't know about you guys but I'll take LA's sunshine and 80 degree summertime weather over the South Texas heat and humidity any day of the week. Also, the miles and miles of coastline make for some kickass road trips. Not to mention the fact that San Diego and San Fran are not too far away.
No doubt LA has some beautiful weather and landscape. However, it's the people and general attitude that make it unattractive to reside.
Gotta love sports -- talk about two completely different cities, and it automatically turns into a big-d!ck contest.
Then live in San Diego or San Francisco, both awesome cities...not LA. That temperature is only by the coast. Just a few miles inland, you get 100+ summers with their smog which is unrelenting ... all spring, summer and fall. You cannot even see mountains a couple of miles away through the haze. The beaches are pretty good, but many of the people on them are plastic. Complain about Houston traffic? Try 30 minutes to drive a few miles in practically any direction. Heading south on the 405 on a Friday (to go to San Diego)? Try 3 1/2 hours to go the first 40 miles. Don't worry, you've only got about 70 more miles to go!
No kidding......I've been all over this country, and LA is the ONLY city I would consider visiting again. I love San Fran.....hell, I like most of the state, but LA sucks.
My exact thoughts also. He's stuck covering the Raiders, 49ers, and Chargers... and directing all of his hate towards St. Louis and Houston.
Right here! All I can say is, anyone who would post something along the lines that Baqui99 did, has obviously never lived in Los Angeles. It is a great place to visit, but an absolutely horrid place to live, especially if you make less than $100,000 a year. Make under a hundred grand a year, and you are living like a college student, eating Beefaroni over the sink for dinner each night. LA has Houston beat in climate and as a tourist destination, but in every other category, especially raising a family, Houston wins hands down. As far as T.J. Simers goes, he was a homer when I lived there, and he is a homer now. The article is an obvious indication that T.J. is a little peeved that Houston won both the expansion derby and the Super Bowl. Oh well, T.J. has the next riot and earthquake to look forward to!
Face it, it's the brutal truth. I'm beginning to respect more and more about Bud Adams because he was basically right, none of this would have happened without him moving to Tennessee. Imagine that stadium built that Bud proposed. I sincerely doubt that the Super Bowl would have come this way (not anytime soon anyway). I don't know if MMP would have been built, same goes for TC. Honestly, I was thinking the Astros and the Rox would be out of here if they didn't get their new stadiums. All we would have been left is the former Oilers and the bitterness of their shortcomings. The revitalization and the continuing makeover of the city would not be happening so quickly without the Superbowl and other upcoming major events. Otherwise our city would still be stuck behind the times. Los Angeles doesn't need pro sports. They have enough entertainment there. The weather is kick ass if you don't mind the smog and traffic (we should be used to it anyways). I dare say Houston is a poorman's version of Los Angeles. One thing we can revel in is that one day that city will be in the bottom of the Pacific. I'm not not taking that reporter's side, I'm just trying to comment from an objective standpoint.
Wrong again, boyo. Los Angeles is a rich person's version of Houston. In LA, you get great weather along with living in Celebrityville. You also get the following, for your pleasure: Riots Earthquakes Worse smog Worse traffic An incredibly high cost of living Rude, self-centered people State income taxes $1.80/gallon gasoline Some of the worst segregation in the country A money-stratified society The most violent street gangs in the country Like I said in my previous post, unless you make at least 100K a year, Los Angeles is a much crappier place to live than Houston. Still like LA? Go for it...just don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
