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Advice to the lovelorn . . .

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Os Trigonum, May 5, 2017.

  1. Os Trigonum

    Os Trigonum Member
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    A number of posts lately hint at Clutchfanners' potentially low confidence levels when interacting with potential, uh, significant others. Here's some help. Pro Tip: One can simply substitute "boy" for "girl" and "him" for "her" if appropriate, the advice is still sound.

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  2. DudeWah

    DudeWah Member

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    Never ask permission bros.

    No matter how much those damn sexual assault training videos tell you otherwise.
     
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  3. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Just get that ass man. Let the animal instinct take over. It's not hard. Just stop being a whiny little millennial flannel-snorting shitbeak and crush the ass.

    Jesus.
     
  4. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    Well, you have to first make sure she applies some Listerated Pepsin Oil first.
     
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  5. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Totally.

    Then you use a language known only to Cappadocian swine herders and insult her ancestor's social standing. This will be followed by guttural moans similar to a bull elk during the first rut of the season. The dank scent and flowing fertility of a strong cow will invite an aura of pleasure to overcome your senses.
     
  6. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    Weren't Kate's ancestors dairy farmers from the Taurus Mountains on the southern border of Cappadocia, who practiced such guttural moaning traditions.

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