At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I've tried 4 places there. (Smitty's, Blacks, Kreuz, Chisholm Trail). I always go back to Smitty's. The locals told me they like Chisholm Trail the best, but I didn't think it was very good the one time I tried it.
I've been eating in Lockhart for 20 years now, and I've been to all four many times. The locals like Chisholm Trail because it's the cheapest, it doesn't attract tourists, it's open on Sundays, and it is 90 percent as good if you catch it before the meat starts to dry out. The key to understanding Lockhart is knowing that there is fierce competition between the big three, so you have to keep trying all of them to see who is hot that year. The current leader in my book, if you can only try one, is Black's. They have traditional sides, all their meats are good, but the standouts are the brisket, pork ribs, and the amazing beef ribs. Kreuz's tends to be more reliable than Smitty's in my book, and they have the best sausage on the planet and more consistent brisket. Those are the only two meats that matter at both Kreuz's and Smitty's to me (unless you don't like your brisket fatty, in which case order the excellent shoulder clod). Smitty's you go to for the experience of the building and their open fire pits, particularly on a cold day. If you catch either one of them right or they're having a good year, you're in for the best 'cue you've ever had. My suggestion for CCorn with his group of ten: The variety of the meats and the sides makes Black's a great spot for a large group right now, particularly if there are more than a couple of women in the group. However, if it's as cold as they say it should be today and your group wants a hardcore, traditional Lockhart experience and they are carnivores who don't care about sides or sauce, go to Smitty's.
I might be way off since I havent been to Lockhart since 2009, but your description of Smitty's sounds a lot like Kreuz's--walk into the smokehouse with the fires going, carved for you right off the pit, no sauce/sides/utensils(in 09) and the shoulder clod is their specialty--or so my guide told me that the clod is better than the brisket. I admit i have a YUGE hole in my BBQ bonafides as I have never been to Smitty's but that will be rectified this year. Does Smitty's do a shoulder clod as well? I've only had BBQ shoulder clod twice--once at a church BBQ at a little "painted" catholic church in Plantersville and Kreuz's. Shoulder Clod deserves more attention, luxurious fat cap and strong beef flavor.
If you're in The Woodlands, I'm a big fan of Corkscrew. Widely considered a top 10 destination in Texas.
I've heard of Corkscrew, apparently they used to have a trailer or something and recently moved to brick and mortar but I've never heard anyone say they were a "destination" much less a "top 10 destination".
I follow food and have done a few food reviews. Right now Corkscrew & Killens are the two in Houston, with Jackson Street & Gatlin being slightly behind them. Here's one I wrote a couple years ago. Don't share, though... http://themightyrib.com/fatty-takes-on-houstons-mac-cheese/
Pearland...slightly. Corkscrew is really good. Went when they were a trailer but haven't been to the current location in Old Town Spring.
