Farting at Work

Crop dusting is the only way to go.

 

When I'm in the elevator and someone's running toward it before the doors close I yell, "Hurry, you gotta smell this!"

 

I like adding little paper clips as weight to empty D'anphony cans and lacing a nice fart in it, closing the lid back and leaving it in the breakroom for the neighborhood office food sampler.

 

I go into the restroom. My office environment is too open for me to get away with just farting at my desk.

 

I'm still kind of uncomfortable letting one rip in the bathroom if people are in there, especially if I work directly with someone. I have to be in a stall or by myself before I let one go.

 

Inhaling this toxic gas causes cancer. Your boss wants you dead.

 

I never fart in my office, even when I'm in here alone. You never know when someone will knock on your door or just pop in. There's no one else to blame it on, and the smell can still linger long after you don't notice it anymore.

 

I don't fart, so I don't have to worry about it.

There are a handful of repeat offenders in my office that I stay away from.

 

I let one rip yesterday after lunch in my office and it was quite nasty.

My luck and 3 seconds later the admin assistant walks in. I try to end the conversation as quick as possible right as I see her at my door step but she proceeds to walk and come right by my desk to drop some paperwork and then talk for 1-2 minutes. Awkward.

 

I work in a shop environment(normally 2 other employees and myself). We normally will walk away and fart in the "storage" area of the shop if we are near each other. Right now the 2 guys have been laid off so I just fart as I please while mostly lurking on clutchfans.

On an semi-related note. I have a friend, who also happens to mostly lurk, but posts more than me on here, that farts while being in our xboxlive party chat. Its so loud that sometimes it echos.

 

4th post in over 7 years. I guess you gotta gas out the lurkers.

 

That's dangerous because sometimes a fart can turn into a shart.

You may not know until it is too late.

I once farted down the office hallway on the way to the bathroom after getting serious stomach upset and pain from eating too much chili with beans the night before. Not only was I in serious pain but I could only take like one or two steps at a time for fear of what may happen. It took me like five minutes to walk 30 feet. I barely made it but that was some serious sh_t (pun intended). Luckily, the bathroom I went to was single occupancy and unoccupied.

The funny thing is the chili I made and consumed some of the night before was for a potluck that same day. I kept thinking everyone who ate it was going to get sick as well. I don't think they did. Or, they didn't fess up! I actually got compliments on it. LOL

 

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It's a natural thing that we all need to embrace.

I've done it on a date before while in the car, accidentally. We had a few seconds of "wtf just happened? did that really happen?" silence... and then we both laughed for a few minutes. I am wifing her.

 

I have a chinese co-worker who does it regularly thinking that it's like coughing.

 

I don't know why I laughed at that. :grin:

 

Typical old school Chinese people and the love to pick their nose in public. My future father in law is Chinese and would often do drive bys

 

maybe those folks stay away from beans?