I couldn't find the recent thread on what clever ways to respond to telemarketers, but a friend of mine (female) suggested something that works and leaves you laughing. If a male telemarketer calls, say something like, "Oh, yes, while I have you on the line, let me tell you about our latest line of penile enhancers and testicle ticklers......click! If a female telemarketer calls, say something like, "Oh, great, while I have you on the line, let me tell you about our latest line of vaginal creams and vibrators....click! I know. I know. It's not very Christian but sometimes I feel compelled to give the devil his dues.
Damn. It's embarassing to admit how much fun that was while it lasted... I think that Seinfeld's response to telemarketers is still the best thing going...anyone got the transcript?
I ask them (in a nice tone) what Telemarketing company they work for. Then ask to be put on their Do Not Call List and for a copy of their Do Not Call Policy in the mai. Not really funny, but effective.
Well...that works, but it's no fun... The other night, DSS called in the middle of me putting a new intake on my car to offer me a package that I already have. Needless to say, I was a little "irked" by the call and let him know in my kindest possible voive to check his records before bothering me again.
I know somebody who was called by a collection agency. It was a new phone number and the agency was looking for someone nobody knows. So my friend said he was the guy, but when he found out it was a collection agency he told them h e was just kidding, but they thought he was lying. Anyway so my friend actually pretended to be the guy and the agency called back all the time. Evidentally the actual guy had 10's of thousands of dollars of debt. My friend actually talked the agency down to at least half the amount due to them. The collection agency would call and my friend would say that he just couldn't help himself and had just bought a new TV and stuff like that. Finally he got bored and told the agency that he was packing up and leaving for Mexico. And that was the last time they actually called.
I worked as a telemarketer one summer (worst job ever) and if people were rude to me or tried to play these little jokes on me I would just put them back into the database to be called again around the same time the next day. If people asked me nicely to not call again I had no problem with putting them on the DNC list...
If someone was rude but asked you to be put on the no call list, would you do it or put them on the call back list?
*cough* -----rough transcript----- Seinfeld: Hello. Telemarketer: This is so and so with TMI long distance. Seinfeld: Im busy right now. Why don't you give me your # and Ill call you at home later?? Telemarketer: I'm sorry, we are not allowed to do that. Seinfeld: I guess you don't like people calling you at home. Telemarketer: No. We don't. Seinfeld: Well now you know how I feel. *click*
Bad news? WASHINGTON -- Federal officials vowed Friday to support the endangered national do-not-call registry, despite a U.S. District Court ruling that the list violates First Amendment free speech protections. The Federal Communications Commission, the White House and members of Congress issued strong statements in favor of the 50 million-plus member list, set to shield the public from unwanted telemarketing phone calls as early as Oct. 1. The Federal Trade Commission went a step further late Friday when it announced plans to ask the 10th U.S. Court of Appeals to overturn Thursday's unfavorable ruling by U.S. District Judge Edward Nottingham in Denver. That means the courts, not politicians or regulators, will decide the FTC list's fate -- and its actual start date. Texas officials will watch the legal battle closely to determine if this state's do-not-call registry should be modified or left alone. The American Teleservices Association, which initiated the lawsuit challenging the national registry, says it is not pursuing legal action against Texas' law at this time. "They could certainly challenge the law that is on the books, but we feel it is strong enough to weather that," said Jerry Strickland, a spokesman for the Texas Attorney General's Office. Texas' law has been in force for more than a year. The state registry collects the names of consumers who don't want unsolicited telephone sales pitches and prohibits telemarketers from calling them. There are about 166 million residential phone numbers in the United States, and telemarketers attempt up to 104 million calls to consumers and businesses every day, according to the FCC. The state no-call rules do not apply to debt collectors, state-licensed businesses or companies that have an established business relationship with a customer. They also do not bar charities from calling people on the list. However, the Denver judge lambasted the national program because it would block commercial calls but not charitable calls. Nottingham declared the national registry invalid late Thursday because it acts as "a government restriction on lawful and truthful free speech" and "creates a regulatory burden on commercial speech." FTC Chairman Timothy Muris said Nottingham's interpretation ignored personal privacy rights, and FCC Chairman Michael Powell characterized the ruling as "fundamentally flawed." The two commissions hold joint jurisdiction over the registry and Powell said Friday the FCC will join the FTC "in taking every appropriate legal measure to ensure the will of the people is vindicated." Thursday's court decision was much more devastating to the no-call effort than the previous day's ruling by a federal court in Oklahoma. U.S. District Court Judge Lee R. West in Oklahoma City declared that Congress had not authorized the FTC to establish the national registry. Lawmakers loudly criticized that decision. The House on Thursday passed a bill 412-8 and the Senate passed its own measure 95-0 in support of a national registry. On Friday, consumer advocates urged Texas residents who signed up for the free national registry to pay the $2.25 to have their name and home phone number added to the state list. The statewide restriction lasts three years. "Because of the uncertainty swirling around the national list, our state list is now, possibly, a stronger registry than the national one," says George Kelemen, the director for advocacy and grass roots for AARP-Texas, the state organization that lobbies for senior citizens and retired people. Whether the FCC and FTC will enforce the registry on Oct. 1 is in limbo. The FTC did not promise Friday a timetable for implementing the list and said telemarketers are not required to comply with the registry. However, the Direct Marketing Association, the nation's largest telemarketing industry group, is not taking any chances. It urged its member companies to stop calling households on the list starting Wednesday. But the group also said the telemarketing industry should be allowed to police itself. The DMA created a no-call list in 1985. Critics, however, say that list lacks any enforceable penalties. Chronicle reporters Shannon Buggs and Darrin Schlegel contributed to this story.