So anyway, once again, I have been writing one of those screenplay thingies so I can go out and shoot the thing and make a wonderful movie so people will love me even though I'm ugly and fat. The problem is, I'm about 80 pages into the thing, and I don't know how in the heck to end it (and normally an 8- page script would be short, but I don't write a whole lot of description that's found in other scripts, so my scripts tend to work out to more than 1 minute of screen time per page). Anyway, I'm just complaining because I've been working on it, and the more I write, the further away from the end I feel like I'm getting. I'm afraid I'm going to end up like the Michael Douglas character in Wonder Boys. But anyway, if anyone wants to read it, go right ahead: CLICK HERE (I am not asking for ending suggestions, though, as I want to take all the credit and glory for myself, so I must figure it out on my own... though I assume most people won't like it).
how about making it grow to an emotional climax when the father has to choose which one of his sons will live and which one will .... DIE.
Because I'm an idiot and hit the space bar between the www and the filmhouston.com. I fixed it, though (in the earlier post. Don't click on the www. here).
Hi! I read down to where the hotel guy asks her out. I like it. I have a couple of suggestions off the top of my head, if that's OK. Figured you might like some anonymous feedback. So, here goes... 1) Have Kate "show some of the goods" when she quickly changes clothes at the beginning. I don't know if your thinking PG 13 or an R for the flick, but it'll get immediate interest in the woman by the audience, and show she's pretty hot if she's seen so far as "frumpy" (I can't remember if she is... I know she isn't in her imagination in the beginning). Oh, and at the beginning, you could have her do something else with the second guard, like, 'Oh! excuse me, sir." The guy turns around and gets the same spray. Seems easier to me. Anyone would turn around in that situation. Her being hot doesn't hurt. 2) When Kate is going to the car after getting "the number", have the hotel guy stop her as she goes to her car and say something like, "Hey, you forgot something" "What?" He hands her the hundred dollar bill. She's surprised. Then he says something like, "Oh, and there's something else..." and he asks her out. And I'd have her send her friend out to the car earlier, at the storage place when there's trouble getting into the unit, and have her flash or whatever on camera. Just a thought. I'll read the rest later tomorrow. It's good! Sorta like "Romancing the Stone" meets... I can't think of what it meets, yet, but I liked it.
I forgot that he just kept the $100. It doesn't even come up on their date, I don't think (I admit that I sometimes will forget what's in a script I'm writing and what's not). As far as I remember, the hundred bucks never comes up again. He probably should give it back to her before she leaves the Hotel. As for the actress showing her goods, I have to be mindful of what I can get an actress to do (and what I'm brave enough to ask for). The actress I would like to play the Kate part isn't likely to do any kind of nudity (but it's the friend Ellen who ends up flashing the guy - off screen - at the storage place - but I kind of like how it's comically revealed after the fact). There is a "love" scene a little further in, though, so I don't know what I'm going to end up with.
most movie scripts are 80 pages long and this one is only 18, and several of them are just drawings of the time machine.
lol...it's not bad at all. But someone said that movie scripts are USUALLY 80 pages...it can be a mini movie!
Mr Paige, I haven't had any time to read this, but I would love to begin discussions(aka my questions). The beginning is very unique and definitely caught my eye. Also, I'd be interested in helping you work on your film. Did you ever shoot the devil movie? Just interested. uncharacteristic signature, don g
I missed that the friend did the "flashing"... makes sense, I guess, because she's trying to get Kate to loosen up. (It was late when I read it... that's why I had to stop, although I didn't want to) As far as the "showing her goods" comment, the reason I asked about the rating is there are several ways to do it. You can simply have her in something sexy under her clothes (I'm thinking of that shot late in "Alien" when Sigorney Weaver is desperately putting on her space suit), or an angle shot that shows a little, but leaves a lot to the imagination. Glad you're coming up with an ending. I'll try to read the rest today. Hope you don't mind the feedback.
Wow them in the end, and you got a hit. But, I'm sure you've got everthing rattled up by now, Paigetopian leader. Either way, good luck, best wishes, and all that jazz. We all know the end result will be golden.
I decided I liked The Devil Next Door script so much that I was going to use it as my first "real" movie. The plan is to shoot it on HD in the Spring (shooting for March, but may be May). I've started talking to SAG and getting that set up to make it a SAG picture, and I've put out some feelers to some "name" actors to take some of the bigger roles (nobody huge, of course. People I think I have a realistic shot of signing). But even if I can't get any names, I'm going with it on HD in the Spring (I'm also doing it with the WGA, so I'll have enough credits at the end to be able to join the Writer's Guild of America). And then I'll spend next summer trying to get distribution for it. Discuss away. You can email me (ryan@filmdallas.com) any time. I'd be glad to discuss finding a place for you in the production.
Yeah. I'd like to make it sexy. What I'll probably end up doing is discussing it with whoever ends up with the part and shooting whatever she's comfortable with (and whatever I'm comfortable with). But yeah, I want to make it sexy. No, I don't mind at all. I like the feedback. Even if I disagree, it makes me think about it and make sure I'm doing everything the way I think it should be done. And there are times when other people will notice things I'd miss (because it's my story, it always makes sense to me, but that may not come across in the actual script).
Your title is perfect for this script and works in many ethnicities. In Polish, a down to earth, functional farmhouse becomes an ecentric summer cottage for the wealthy. In Mexican, a blob of boring dough takes shape into a boat on a journey carrying its precious wares of spicy meats and vegetables, enticing the viewer's gullet onto something more grand. In American, if one has never heard of it, just the name is intriguing enough to convince you that you must possess it. Good job.
