The Ant and the Grasshopper CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Tom Daschle &Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
Don't forget raising taxes for the unlimited number of programs that are absolutely essential in a truly "compassionate" society. The ant is just a winner of life's lottery anyways.
Sounds about right to me. That "winners of life's lottery line" by Gephardt enraged me to no end. Of course, we only trot out the homeless during a Republican presidency. During the Clinton years, homelessness just went away. Or more like the stories about it did. If that isn't proof of a bias in the media, I don't know what is. Read Bernard Goldberg's book Bias to get the full scoop.
YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN IF... You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese. You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two" You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage. You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend" You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare. You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty. You think Huey Newton is a cookie. The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you. You think you might remember laughing once as a kid. You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie. You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs." You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something. You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of b****es." You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school." You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie." You answer to "The Man." You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense. You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood." You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance." You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love. You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values." When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho." You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut." You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969. You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home. Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you. You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America. You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties. You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me." You've ever called education a luxury. You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle. You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable. You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan. You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker. You're afraid of the "liberal media." You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...." You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society." You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes. You confuse Lenin with Lennon.
your whole analogy is flawed because of this you assume that those that need society's help don't want to or aren't willing to help themselves... and that assumption is flawed.. I find this to me a common lie the right throws out when b****ing bout social programs...that the poor and less fortunate ones are only that way because they want to be, they are lazy, they are unwilling to work and just want to live off welfare... which is all a bunch of ant-crap
Good one! But please note I used a "Republican" joke. I've got no issues with my conservative cousins!
I think its funny how people just assume that poor people don't work hard. I think flipping burgers, building houses and mowing lawns is alot harder than typing on a computer all day long.
Just to interrupt the idiot brigade here for a second, a simple reminder as to which party over the last two years has preached fiscal responsibility instead of massive new (ineffective) tax cuts along with massive new spending and in the process created a record deficit like a banana republic, in the face of the impending medicare and social security catastrophe? Grasshopper? Ant? ....Carry on.....
I think its funny how people just assume that poor people don't work hard. I think flipping burgers, building houses and mowing lawns is alot harder than typing on a computer all day long Amen. Watch the checkers at a busy supermarket work. They work hard for their minimum wage and then the Walmarts of the world throw these mainly women away when they develop carpal tunnel syndrome.
the last two presidents to balance a US budget were Clinton and Carter Reagan never did it in 8 tries Bush I never did it in 4 tries Bush II has never done it in 3 tries Is there a story about a grasshopper who claims to be an ant? Cuz that's the story you need.
The problem is Glynch, that the world is not that nice a place. I truly, truly wish it was. People will be worth what they can financially contribute, and if someone else can do it cheaper, it will be done. There is no other choice in life. Because a system in which a few carry others will ultimately fail as history has proven again and again. The socialogical study of economics is not the study of money, but the study of human behavior and desire. The laws of unlimited wants drives human nature, and because of it we must always be able to create a means of capital, otherwise we'd better not expect the goods they can purchase.
but they don't ...Wal-Mart gave them stock options...there are checkers at Wal-Mart who are worth more than you and I combined will ever make, glynch. having said that, i totally agree...it's simplistic to say, "these people just aren't working hard enough...and i am...so i deserve more." i don't know if that's necessarily the case...i think it's likely the case for some people...but certainly not for all. i just am not convinced that it's a good idea for society at large to guarantee outcomes for people.
The current occupant of the White House can't even spell fiscal responsibility, let alone know what it means. He's not tax and spend, he's spend and spend and let your grandchildren and their children foot the bill. Therefore, your analogy is ludicrous, FD.
First, unfortunately there are many people who are unwilling to work. There are people out there who are pretty lazy, who dropped out of school, get fired from jobs, etc. Increase welfare and social help, and the incentive for such bad behaviors only increases. Secondly, it is questionable to say that just because you work hard and find yourself out of a job, that the government should automatically take care of you. I agree there should be some help, but not the extensive welfare programs that will turn us all into grasshoppers.
The fact is that I don't and never will blame people for taking handouts. People will always want to recieve the highest benefit with the least amount of work. If people can recieve welfare, free healthcare, free social services, why should they sweat working a job?? I blame the system in place that allows people to take advantage of it. Even the social security payment rate is flawed. The social security amount is based on the CPI, consumer price index, which is flawed based on changes in lifestyle and the quality of living. So essentially, Social security payments do not 'maintain' a standard of living, but pay higher amounts to have people increase their standard of living. Of couse i'd love to see a politician run on that platform. It would be true, but the problem is people see the government as this everlasting money source to take advantage of. We need to eliminate the holes in our system that allow people to take advantage of the system. Having a simplified reduction in marginal tax rates and a simple flat tax would help as well. It would reduce the use of many tax-shelters as well as have each person give his equal % share of running this fine nation. The most important aspect of growing our GDP is worker productivity, which is on the rise. With lower marginal tax rates, people will have more incentive to work hard. In many European nations where tax rates are astronomical, worker productivity is horrid. When the government takes 90% of your check, you have little left over and therfore the difference in how hard you work to how much you recieve is miniscule. That is the opposite of how to run an economy and what you will see is that many European nations are made up of predominantly lower to middle-lower class people and that the governments are becoming weaker financially, we cannot and must not allow that to happen here in the US to remain a first rate power.
I guess I should stick with the "Made" easy version instead of some real commentary which kills the thread with this crowd.
