If you ask the woman you want to marry to sign a pre-nup, is that considered a slap in the face to them? Should you question yourself that you are getting married for the right reasons?
i'm not trying to crap on marriage, but it makes me feel uneasy. i don't see why you have to label yourselves. maybe it's the feminist in me...marriage has historically indicated ownership of a woman. even if that's not how it is today, it's still a strange feeling. plus, i can see getting married for religious reasons (in front of God, etc) but i don't see many other reasons. joint taxes i guess. and believe me, i'm not criticizing my mate, just the system/stigma. it seems like a lot of my friends (18-24) are getting married lately and having babies and finding themselves stressed out to the max. prob. why the divorce rate is so high. i think in this day and age, it's important not to grow up too early.
I probably have one of the longest marriages on this BBS. Twenty-four years of marriage this October. And I wish I could answer the question with simple, straight-forward truths, but I can't. For us, it was just like the contrite saying on the wedding invitation: "And the two shall become one". We dated for three years before we got married, and we got married because we knew we had grown into a single identity. Without my wife, I don't exist. And without me, she doesn't exist. To get a divorce would mean that one or both of us morphed into a completely different person, both physically and mentally. I wish I had more to offer, but that's what I got.
Marriage was designed for pre-1990's Today more than less are asking for troubles, because how we and the under generation are growing up and expose too. My parents and their friends never would have had female/male friends as oppose to today. Is just a diff world now..
This right here is huge and spot on. A lot of the people I know who are married and unhappy did so at a relatively young age and then they see their unmarried friends and family doing things that they could have done before but can't now because they are married or married with children.
Nice post behad. there are some things you can't argue from a strictly rational framework. They are often the most important things. If you don't get it....I can't convince you otherwise. I have friends who've been in 20+ year common law relationships and it works wonderfully for them. Their unions are as strong as any officially married couple. Yet for me...the marriage itself was important. I have a close friend who was in a common law relationship for 15 years. He was stricken with cancer.....and...literally on his deathbed, he got married to his partner. There was no tangible benefit to the marriage -- but it was hugely important to him.
The most interesting part about this thread is how many people are "sticking to their view" on marriage based on such limited personal data (their own relationship experience and that of people they know relative to millions upon millions upon millions of marriages and relationships). The fact of the matter is marriage is for some, and not for others. While this may be more true of some age groups or some demographics than others, it certainly can't be boxed in as a "pre-1990's institution" or not right for young people, or only useful when kids are involved.
Yes, exactly. So I wouldn't use either scenario to explain (or imply) to others that I think said examples make marriage a good or a bad thing for everyone.
absolutely. ending a marriage is complicated, involved and expensive. But there must be fifty ways to leave your lover.
awwww the word marriage! There are some who are against the idea of it, simply because they feel they shouldn't have the need to be labeled and because they don't feel a piece of paper should have to prove their commitment. If you find a person who has the same point of view, then good for you. These days, I think too many young people take marriage way too lightly. Many think that getting married solves the problems their relationship is having...when in reality it makes things 10x's worse. Especially the young ladies..they think just cause they love the guy, things will be better. I don't think i have a good answer for your question. I'm one of the ones who is TERRIFIED of marriage but I want to believe that there will be the one person who will make me feel differently about marriage. With everything you see nowadays, it makes some ppl think to hell with marriage...but perhaps one day you can find the one who will finally make you say i do. or maybe you'll find the one who won't say it with you forever LOL
Just slip out the back, MadMax Make a new plan, Juan (Valdez) You don’t need to be coy, DwangBoy Just get yourself free Hop on the bus, DonnyMost You don’t need to discuss much Just drop off the key, bnb And get yourself free
This is a VERY interesting thread because I am about to pop the question this fall after I finish school. It's incredibly helpful to see different people's opioion on this subject and how each person handles the concept of marriage.
I'm with you, rimrocker, or maybe he just likes insulting people of opposing or differing views, rather than having a discussion. We could all go that route, but then what would the point of the discussion be?
