...if you were in the mall and saw a woman hitting her children? It happened to me today. I was at the mall with my wife and a woman hit both of her boys and not just a little tap on the hand or bottom. She slapped one boy and caused him to grab his nose and begin crying. From what I could tell, she hit the other boy because he hit the first boy. One of the young boys (I'm guessing they were like 3 and 5) had a bruise under his right eye. I don't know how it got there, but it really startled me. I was completely floored. I had no idea how to respond. Part of me wanted to do something but I just didn't know what. It was a very frustrating thing to watch especially considering that she was letting her kids run all over the place while she was talking to her friend. She would look up occassionally to find them at the other end of that part of the mall (the food court) and then yell at them to get back there. It was very disturbing. Anyone have any suggestions about how to handle this type of thing? ------------------ "You know what they say about the music business. Here today, gone TODAY! - Chris Rock at the MTV Music Video Awards
Give the boys one cat each. Actually, that would probably be a good default response for you and rascal to take in any tough situation. as my boss likes to say...it's a win-win.
seriously though, unfortunately, I don't there is anything you can do, except go up to her ask her why she did it. Don't do it when the kids are within earshot.
Jeff Honestly you did the correct thing. Unless it is something TOTALLY ridiculous that will hospitalize a child . . .I say do nothing. Because I beleive in spankings. and I'll be d*mn if someone Question my methods of raising my children. HeyP To ask her why . . . is to invite confrontation. Honestly more than likely she'd say IT AIN't YOUR D*MN BID'NEss Rocket River ------------------
Slap her around....see how she likes it. She's obviously the one misbehaving for letting her kids run around the mall like that and allowing them to get in a goofy funk. All because she was talking to her friend. Conversation over....slap the kids for misbehaving. Pathetic. ------------------
this is so weird, as I read this topic the Simpsons episode is on TV where Child Protective Services takes away the kids and gives them to the Flanders. tell the woman you work for CPS and could turn her in. ------------------ [This message has been edited by outlaw (edited February 22, 2001).]
Confrontation is healthy. "IT AINT YOUR DAMN BIDNESS" Straight in the eyes; measured slowly: "Correct. (Nod) But then, why did you bring it out into the public? It makes me uncomfortable." You're right though RR; I'm at a lose to know what else to do, other than confront them in a peaceful manner that they will remember.
When is a spanking a Black eye The bruise could have been from a fight in school or from getting hurt somewhere. One thing to avoid, in my opinion, is questioning people's parenting methods unless they truly are abusive. Some people are strict, some aren't. Some believe in spanking, others don't... but ultimately, parents have to decide how to raise their kids and getting in the middle of that can only lead to bad things. ------------------ Is it any coincidence that the Cato is the only Rocket with a temperature scale named after him? I didnt think so!!!!
Oh man! This is so hard. Myself, I would probably walk away shaking my head. Of course I'd be with my wife, who has an opinion on EVERYTHING. And she would have something to say, and of course I'd end up mediating a shouting match until the police came and then they'd arrest me (because that's my luck). Hoo Boy! I think I'd have to agree with the general consensus that its better not to say anything. But of course we all say we would do one thing and end up doing something else. So I'm not sure how I would react. ------------------ Everything you do, effects everything that is.
I would stare real obvious show her a face of how sad it really is what she is doing and simply try and make the woman feel embarrased. How freakin awful!!!!Other than that what can you do....oh, then I'd go and get an Orange Julius and slice of pizza. ------------------ Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.
Shanna good point and I agree stepping i without knowing all the facts is extremely stupid and actually i wouldn't do anything either, but as HP said that is not something that should be done in public, spanking that is, let alone wacking them in the head. Still anyone want to bet where he got the black eye??? The point i was trying to make was that if people want to discipline kids via spanking them fine, and I have no problem if a parent wants to do this, but for me slapping/wacking a kid round the head steps over the line, it is definitely on the same side of the line as punching a kid in the head. Smeg ------------------ CUT Tino These Heaves are just getting Ridiculous!
Mr grease monkey excellent idea! both of them! ------------------ Everything you do, effects everything that is.
I think you have to say something to her. I mean, not doing so sort of makes you complicit. I don't think anyone could blame you... but children are helpless, and whatever happens to them now will form who they are in the future. Can you imagine what being bruised in public does too a young ch ild? That's part of the reason why I don't believe in retributive justice. ------------------ Why is it that everytime BC defeats a major conference opponent, that opponent promptly goes on a losing streak? PS. Notre Dame sucks
Didn't Jeff say that one of the kids hit the other? Growing up with two brothers, a black eye among siblings was nothing out of the ordinary for me. It doesn't take much imagination to come up with a scenario where a 3 year old punches a 5 year old brother... or vice versa. ------------------ "Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching." [This message has been edited by RunninRaven (edited February 22, 2001).]
Thanks for the feedback. I'm loathe to tell anyone what to do. I'm trying SO hard to work on the whole non-judgemental aspect of my life and it is VERY hard sometimes. I've known quite a few physical abuse victims in my life, though, thankfully, I wasn't one of them. I don't like physical discipline of children because I think it sends the message that it is ok to intimidate through violence or physical confrontation, which I don't believe in either. However, I respect the right of parents to do what is necessary for them. I have the utmost respect for parents. It is the toughest and most important job on the planet. For me, this was a very hard thing to witness. The kids were SO sweet and so ignored except when they were being yelled at, jerked around or hit. I left the place (after my pizza ) absolutely fuming and my wife left in tears. Balancing compassion and detachment is a near impossibility. I am SO far off, it is ridiculous. I'm guessing I'll need at least another 100 lifetimes or so to get it right! Anyway, thanks for the responses. All are interesting to read as usual. ------------------ "You know what they say about the music business. Here today, gone TODAY! - Chris Rock at the MTV Music Video Awards
Technically, it's illegal not to report suspected child abuse. Of course, in this situation, you (and everyone else in the mall) would never be prosecuted. I wouldn't ever confront the parents. It wouldn't accomplish anything but get the mother upset with you. You shouldn't get involved in a criminal matter anyway. If you report suspected abuse to a police officer or CPS, they have to investigate, and you don't have to give them your name (I'm sure the police will ask though). In this situation, you could go to the mall HPD officer (if there is one), give him your concerns, and ask him to observe or talk to the lady. I don't know if a non-police security guard would have any training for this. Other than that, I don't know what you could have done. FYI -- I reported a case of suspected abuse once, to CPS, on their hotline, and didn't give my name. (What looked like bruises on an infant's legs). I did give them enough info that the police chief was able to figure out who it was (small town, and I knew him). The police chief, who had a reputation for abusing his power to the extreme, ended up questioning me at the police station. The mother threatened to sue him for harrassment, and he was upset that I went through CPS and not him. He told the mother who reported it and how, which obviously caused a lot of problems. So if you feel it is abuse, be a good samaritan, but be sure to protect yourself. The parents obviously will be upset, obviously aren't nice people, and are willing to throw blame wherever possible. ------------------ Stay Cool...
Jeff Situations like that are always hard, but the best thing is to just let them go. You can change the situation for a moment their and then...but it doesn't change the bigger picture. She will still do it next time, at home, etc etc...the people in her inner circle are the only people who can change her. That's where our obligations are...to help the ones immediate to us, because we can do that... This reminds me of a time a few years ago when I walking through the city. This guy was arguing with his wife and pushing her around. I kept an eye on them to check she was okay. A minute or two later and he absolutley belts her. She fell to the ground and I was completley stunned. In my world, a bloke NEVER hits a woman, that's as low as you can get... So...I walk over to him and say "I saw that mate" and push him. He looks shocked, but tries to then hit me...so I hit him abd he went down (it doesn't take much to put a guy like that down) To my surprise then...I GET HIT FROM BEHIND! The wife has come and hit me!!!! She is pissed off that I hit her guy...when all I was doing was helping her. Moral of story...I don't get involved anymore unless it looks life threatening etc... ------------------ [This message has been edited by ScreamingRocketJet (edited February 23, 2001).]
Orange Julius! good one Mr. Oily! rH ------------------ The Psychedelic Groove House of Rockets Basketball Love! Come and chat with us on game nights in CC.net chat!
