http://www.dickinson.edu/dickinsonian/detail.cfm?1693 The Bad Touch of The NBA "Chip, I am here at the ESPNZone having dinner, and there is a woman in her wedding gown. I asked her if she has a sister, because any girl who is willing to have her wedding reception at ESPN is the perfect girl for my Chippy." - Momma S. www.kirilenko.ru Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko poses with his wife. Family Motto: Anything Goes. Now, aside from the relatively sad connotations of this message, it is especially apropos now that marriage has become a major topic in sports discussion. In case you missed it, Andrei Kirilenko of the Utah Jazz has apparently been given permission by his wife to have "relations" with another woman once a year, as long as she knows who, where and when prior to it happening. Pretty sweet, huh? Masha Kirilenko argues that allowing her husband this freedom has solidified their marriage, and personally, I think she's right. Let's be honest, being a married NBA player on a road trip is like being William "Refrigerator" Perry on a diet at The Old Country Buffet. Sure, you might be able to resist the ladies for a little while, but eventually ... well, a man's gotta eat. And it's not like this idea is foreign to the NBA. Kobe Bryant sleeps with a girl in Colorado and all he has to do is buy his wife some shiny toys and score 81 points and all is forgiven. Allen Iverson kicks his wife out of the house naked and the story vanishes after a week. Zach Randolph has slept with and hit more women then the collective cast of the Jerry Springer Show. Masha has defended her stance, saying that, "If I tell my child, 'No pizza,' what does he want more than anything? Pizza." Good thing Masha isn't in charge of the U.S. Drug Policy. If I tell an addict no more crack, what does he want more than anything? Crack! Or perhaps we should let Masha be in charge of the penal system. If I tell Ted Kaczynski he can't kill anyone... Apparently, nobody ever told her what happens when you give a mouse a cookie. He's gonna want...well for Masha's sake I hope she's flexible. Oh, and let's not to forget her other argument: "If I know about it, it's not cheating." Brilliant! If I know you are killing an entire race of people than it's not genocide; it's a human liquidation sale! This leads to the logical conclusion that the NBA is just a bunch of polygamists. I mean, if you think of every team a player joins as a newly formed relationship, you realize that things like free agency have turned them all into either Mormons or prostitutes. Chauncey Billups = $10 w****. Double True! For years in the NBA, players would stay on the same team, just like we used to hold marriage as a sacred thing before those Dems went and destroyed our culture. Sure, things weren't always perfect, and all players didn't necessarily fit the mold. (I mean Wilt Chamberlain played for three teams and had ten-thousand "relationships." They didn't call him the Big Dipper for nothing.) Now, players go wherever they please and sleep with whomever they want, whoring themselves out to the pimp with the most cash. In that regard, the Masha apple doesn't fall too far from the anti-monogamy tree. It's also important to keep in mind that Masha was born in a communist USSR, and was taught that there is no such thing as a possession. So, really isn't all she's doing just sharing? Sharing is what life is all about. If you enjoy something you are supposed to share it, whether it's a cookie, an AK-47 or a husband - they are all up for grabs. What is most tragic about this story is that, according to ESPN the Magazine, Kirilenko does not plan on using his freedom. All I have to say is what would our founding fathers say? Well, we all know what Thomas Jefferson would have done. You and me baby ain't nothin' but human, So let's do it like they do on ESPN.
story is like a year ago and kirilenko already said he's not going to sleep with any other woman, not that any would with that rediculous haircut he has
Strangest thing of all to me, is Okur isnt doing NO BETTER then Kirilenko is in this series so far. Kirilenko use to be an AllStar and Okur supposedly IS.
