Violent Dreams

Let me preface this by saying that I am NOT a violent person. I haven't been in anything close to real fight, I'm not a fighter. I have a very aggressive personality, but I have never truly had 'the bloodlust'...

For about a month now, every night when I go to bed I inevitably have dreams that turn into sort of the same scenario: unknown, organized professional assassins/criminals are trying to kill me and I, usually teamed up with and given weapons from unknown 'good guys' must kill every one of them before they kill me. Even if I start dreaming about something else, something pleasant like maybe family or a lovely lady, somehow I end up in a death hunt. The setting is almost always either in a parking garage or a tall commercial office building, and there are always 'civilians' working, walking and hanging around, with the 'bad guys' able to easily blend in.

Sometimes, I find myself and my allies committing acts of mass terrorism for some assumed reason unbeknown to me. For instance, on the 80th floor in a tall office building, a russian 'ally' dude (who reminded me of Trevelyan from Goldeneye) hands me a ticking explosive and instructs me that I have 30 seconds to throw it down the elevator shaft before it detonates, so I throw it, turn around and run full speed through a huge glass window and base jump to the top of a smaller building. The first building explodes into oblivion, it was awesome.

The most pervasive emotion though, through all of it is the fear of death: that there is no f***in way I will survive this dream scenario and even If I somehow did, that I've killed so many people that I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison/exile. I get paranoid and panicky, and think about the things I will miss in life, like my family, girlfriend, rockets, etc. For me it is unusual to have 'realistic' consequence awareness (like mortality) in dream state, however it's not that I'm seriously seeking to rid myself of this anxiety because it is unbearable for me, I posted this to see if anybody else had reoccurring dreams, maybe violent ones, or if anybody has any dream interpretation experience they could share.

 

Interesting you should say that, I've always thought to myself DURING older scarier dreams that would make great horror scenes.

 

Anybody know anything interpretive about stairs, symbolically? I seem to do alot of climbing up and down stair wells, which I think I originally got from Smoking Aces when Common carries Alicia Keys. I guess I have a pretty decent fear of heights, maybe it has to do with that.

Before my bloodlust, I would generally either dream about extremely boring everday scenarios, like waiting in line or talking to strangers, or straight up horror nightmares. The strange thing about these recent violent dreams is the aspect of realism. Before, I would normally make dream decisions without thinking about the result, decisions that I normally would never make, like doing heroin or streaking at an Astros game.

I used to be able easily determine when I was dreaming. In fact, ever since I saw Waking Life, I've always worked my hardest to identify dream indicators so that I can become lucid and control the elements around me, which has happened to me about 4 times. Lucid dreaming is the bomb.

 

I don't ever really eat within about 2-3 hours of going to bed. At least I try not to, because your body doesn't metabolize efficiently at night. How come? Are there certain foods that affect dreams?

Sometimes I am pretty wasted and just pass out, but I haven't noticed a pattern of dreams happening after drinking more so than when sober.