Just today I entered a stall at work adjacent to an occupied one, sat down and released perhaps the loudest, most resonant and longest fart in the history of this workplace. Not only did it seem to last for twice as long as should be humanly possible, it was doubly amplified by the echo of the bowl and the concrete walls of the bathroom, and changed pitch at various points in its lifetime as if telling a story which took its audience on a long and smelly journey. Realizing that I'd just unleashed this monster not four feet away from an (as yet unidentified) coworker I immediately had to stifle laughter. That would have been all, except then I heard choking sounds from the stall next door indicating that its occupant was similarly amused by the enormity of my buttbomb, and with that I couldn't help giggling like a little schoolgirl. Embarrassed as hell, I shoved my shirt into my mouth, coughed, flushed the toilet, bit hard into my forearm, but could do nothing to quiet the little snorts that escaped my shuddering body. I was wracked with laughter for minutes, in complete agony with tears running down my face and desperately hoping that the guy sitting next to me couldn't identify me from the distinctive shoes he may have glimpsed under the wall of the stall. I peeked through the crack as he left the toilet to see who it was, and will henceforth have trouble making eye contact with him. I waited in there for ages even after he left, just in case he was lurking outside curious to discover which of his colleagues could be reduced to a snickering wreck by a fart, but hope that I have escaped undetected. Even now, sitting in the office typing this up, I keep snorting at my desk like a fool. Flatulence can really make your day.
You didn't happen to have Frito-Lay WOW chips with olestra for lunch, did you? That might explain a lot.
That's nothing. I worked for several years doing Data Processing and research at a bank. I worked on the 2nd floor with 4 other guys. We were constantly trying to "get" each other. We would go to the bathroom to take care of business and then we would see if we could get someone else to do the enter then immediately exit routine, because they could not stand the smell. CK
dude, stop giggling at your desk. You will give it away. The guy heard your fart, and your schoolgirl giggle, too, right? And don't reread your post. It will make you giggle even more.
I was working in Greenway Plaza and one day the pizza from Roman Delight didn't agree with my system. Translated: it went right through me. It hit my colon like a Japanese bullet train. I very discreetly and professionally got up from my desk and headed for the bathroom. One of the paralegals intercepted me and barraged me with what seemed like an eternity of questions. I finally got to the restroom...got in one of the stalls...and noticed a coworker sitting on the next toilet. I waited for him to leave, in agony...for about 5 minutes. When he was gone and out of earshot I released. The accompanying fart was of the vibrating, will launch the space shuttle variety. I sure am glad I waited.
