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I once saw Bill Brasky spit shine Darryl Morey's sneakers, and he only had to give up his first born to do so.
"Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!" "Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!" "One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'" "He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!" "His poop is used as currency in Argentina." "He sweats Gatorade" "He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health." "He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!" "I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury." There's gotta be more Brasky disciples out there.
Bill Brasky and I once went hiking up a mountain in Colorado. When it got dark, we got lost. It started to rain too, but luckily we used Bill Braskys foreskin as a tarp to keep us dry through the night.
LONG OVERDUE "He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child." "The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men."
