You have to pick your battles, and you won't win this one. Keep in mind the quote by mother theresa, "For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill."
1. I did say I was sorry. (line 4) 2. I do take the trash out. I can be an *******. I don't like drama. I'm also a good person. Most people still love me. 3. My wife is awesome. She spoils me. I also have an awesome 4-year-old boy. He will take out the trash, soon. (I love them both dearly and would do anything for them. ) 4. I think the Speech is something men have to deal with. It was a rant. 5. The 'no solution' part is circumventing the Speech, not taking out the trash. Which was an example. I'd like to expand on this. I was never more successful with women than when I prescribed to the Ladder Theory. I think some of the basic premise is useful in a successful marriage as well. I think women don't want a sniveling, wait-on-their-every-whim pussyman. I think being a dick sometimes gives things a little spice for them. As long as most of the time you're a nice guy, it's good. Now go get me some pot pie, kikimama.
The thing is her complaint is only partially about taking out the garbage. What she really wants is for you to understand how hard it is doing all the other stuff she does, and a little bit how not taking out the garbage impairs that. Once you realize that you can say something like, "Yikes, I'm really sorry. I didn't realize how me being late to get to the garbage impacted all the stuff you're doing. You work really hard and do an outstanding job taking care of (insert house, children, or as many things as she primarily takes care of.) You're right I should have thought of that, and I'm sorry. I will put in the phone reminder and get to it. I know that you're working hard, and I didn't mean to make it any harder for you. Thanks for doing all of that, and I will work on getting the garbage out in time." Often(please forgive the generalizations) Guys are naturally practical. "Oh there's a problem with the garbage? I'll deal with it." Women want guys to understand their emotions and feelings on the issue, not just solve the problem. So when you only address solving the problem, she feels like she isn't being listened to, because you aren't addressing the feelings involved. I had heard "the speech" one too many times and we had to go to counseling to figure out what the problem was.
Jesus, you just summed up half the problems of my last relationship. The biggest problem, though, is actually being in that situation, realizing that's what she wants as opposed to just "having the trash taken out," and then making sure she knows you understand. It's waaay too easy to get there and completely relapse into the whole, "yeah, I've got it, what else do you want from me? I said I'd do it!" routine again.
You got that right. Sometimes I can Monday Morning quarterback and realized what was really being said after the situation. But in the moment it's hard. Natural defensiveness, and the instinct to just address the problem that needs to be solved in order to move on, just takes over at the moment. I'm the same way.
I like the part where you can't pick out your own clothes for work. Maybe your Iphone has an app for that, too.
I'm in the minority here due to all the macho men that are apparently on this board who is applauding your rant but you're an idiot. Your wife spoils you and yet you can't take out the trash that one time she asks you because you're too busy to perform a task that takes all of 2 minutes. Top that off, you brag about a 4 year old son who takes out the trash for his lazyass dad. Apparently not.
You're missing the point of my post and subsequent posts. But in missing the point, you've shown that you don't and won't understand the point, so I won't bother to point out....the point. I like the part where you quote me and then fail to read my quote, and respond incorrectly. I said: "get your clothes ready for work in the morning..". I never said that I couldn't pick them out myself. I think that the strong responses to the subject underscore how polarizing a topic this is: communication with the opposite sex. It's insanely ironic how the people who got the most incised, by and large, didn't read the original post closely and knee-jerked their (misconstrued) responses with such vitriol. Again, it was a rant about something I understand and can't control. Sometimes you have to hear your wife out. So in summation, if something makes you angry, take a breath, and reexamine the matter at hand. Take a positive out of what you perceive as a negative and learn a lesson. It may help you in a real life situation. Once you've taken your deep breath, steddinotayto (and whoever else is fuming), you can help kikimama get my pot pie. Chop-chop!
Your argument has an inherent fault. #1- a woman should not talk back to her husband. After all Xerobull has done for his wife - provided a roof for her head, Tyson chicken wings on the table and basic cable tv..this is the gratitude he receives?
So the point is that you need to take a positive spin on whatever complaints/frustrations your wife or SO takes out on you?
