a csb: I grew up as an oyibo (white boy) in W Africa. My dad has a construction company there and at a point in time there were complaints about theft at the main compound. There, a construction company doesn't subcontract, they have their own wood joinery/stone fabrication & heavy equipment - meaning there is a lot to steal. Anyway, the prime suspects were the nightwatchmen but....which one(s)? My dad's African partner finally suggested bringing i a juju kalaba (witch dr) to identify the guilty & dad took me to the round-up. The suspects (maybe 8 guys) were gathered w/us + the juju who entered w/a chicken & a cauldron. He placed the chicken in the pot & told the nightwatchmen they were to place both hands on the cauldron & when the guilty did so, the chicken would crow. The juju turned off the lights & instructed them to touch the pot one by one. Not a sound came out of the f**kin' chicken! He turns the lights back on, asks for a show of hands and we all see 7 out of 8 nightwatchmen w/soot on their palms. The 8th guy was taken to the police. True story.
csb: I had friend with a raging cocaine and p*rn addiction. He would do cocaine then watch p*rn on a big screen, on his laptop,on a desktop, and another TV all around him almost like stereo surround of p*rn.all at the same time. So he had these 4 or 5 pornos at once and would stay up all night snorting wanking and watching. Weird part is he would watch them in fast forward so it was like he was in the matrix installing p*rn imagery right into his brain. Well he was living at his moms house, and wanted to do some cocaine and whack off to some p*rn. Kinda hard at moms. So he decided to rent a motel room so he could have this orgy of p*rn with himself. A date with himself if you will. So he buys the coke starts watching p*rn on his laptop at the motel and decides that's not enough p*rn. So he tries to plug in his dvd player into the TV at the motel but it is not DVD ready. So he decides he needs more screens of p*rn, and goes to walmart to buy a dvd capable TV. He takes the TV to the motel sets it up ,and greases up the remote pretty good, and does his business. After it was all done he went back to walmart, and took the TV back.. and turned it all in got his refund etc. mission accomplished. csb
