I've got no problem talking at work, talking on facebook, etc. I'll even join the occasional happy hour. But I have enough friends to worry about coworkers.
I work at a small office (~30 people), and about a third of them are in age range. However, I do not really socialize with them outside of work. I don't think its necessary, but I would be open to it. They just haven't really asked me to hang out with them outside of work...I think its because of my higher level position.
why not? do you care what your co-workers think about you? do you think they think you're stand-offish?
There is a special type of intra-office camaraderie that can only be developed by holding your co-workers legs while he does a keg stand.
For me, work and personal have never mixed. At the same time, I've always had great relationships with co-workers and pride myself on getting along well with everybody, even the most difficult boogers. One reason it doesn't happen is I've lived in Fort Bend County going on 20 years and my career involves the airline industry. Most co-workers live in the north and most people I've worked with live 50+ miles from me.
A lot of my good friends are from work. You spend a third of your life at work. Might as well make it with people you enjoy being around. Getting drunk with someone helps bridge that.
I take the opposite approach - I already spend 1/3 of my life with you goons I'm forced to be with, so after work, I need to be around other people. The worst are the Christmas parties and picnics. Ugh.
I don't socialize with anybody at work, unless it's my boss. I went to my boss's birthday party and other coworkers were there. It was at my last company. When I left for another company, he said I could come back to work for him any time. I believe that if I socialized more with my co-workers that it would help my career though. It's all about who you know. My friend's co-worker left for another company. A few months later, she got laid off, but was offered a new job by her old co-worker who called her cell phone. The interview was a mere formality. They got $20k raise/bonus and a better job with more advancement opportunities. If she hadn't kept that contact, she would be in the unemployment line now. Networking is good.
That's very key. My last job I got through a headhunter was AIG back in 1997. Everything else has been through friends. My current contract is up in January so I'll be looking for a new job then and fully expect it to come through a friend again.
Networking is a completely different subject than socializing, though for some it overlaps. Anyone who is thoughtful about their future should foster relationships with people inside and outside their current employer. It's how I made my last two job changes, which have catapulted my career to another level. When my last two former employers started sinking (or I figured out what was coming), I left right before the nosedives happened. In the former case, most of my colleagues that I was crazy to leave a huge company for a tiny one. Within 6 months, several of them were asking me for jobs. In the latter case, I gave notice the very day my company found out it was losing it's last big account. In fact, I was the one that found out. It was very tough giving the owner both bits of bad news. Networking is essential in today's world. If you have a choice, take a position that allows you regular contact with people outside your company (vendors, customers, competitors).
so you spent a third of your life with your co-workers, why spend more? i'm going home tonight, i'm not hanging out with them for drinks. i don't even like to drink. why do i feel like i obligated to go? work sucks, although there are a few cute chicks going tonight, but i'm married. ugh
it depends on the people i hung out with a few of my coworkers when I worked at a circuit city during college and still keep in touch with a few of them. at my current job I would say that during my first 2 years at the job I hung out with a lot of my co workers because they were all in around the same age range and really cool people. A lot of those people that I used to hang out with have now either been sadly let go or have moved on from there. Outside of one person at work I dont really hangout with anyone outside of work anymore when there used to be a group of us who always did something whether it was just a movie or drink maybe once a week. there isnt anything bad necessarily with hanging out with coworkers, but every person has their own perspective of it.
