Dude, don't keep all your eggs in one basket, youknowwhatI'msaying? So when things like this happen you'll be in good shape. Lesson learned this time. My advice for the next girl is mirror her amount of effort, nothing more. Until the girl makes it clear she wants to be with you and only you (assuming you feel the same about her), keep your options open.
That's tricky though. Girls in high school, as I've learned, are attracted only to status. I don't have much of a status, and therefore receive nothing from anyone. If I want anything, I have to work for it.
Oh and for the Op; You come up as too much of a nice guy IMO. Sending a text to thank her of going out with you for coffee? Jeez no she should be the one sending that text. Everyone wants the silver plate and what they can't have. Act like your untouchable and every girl will want to go out with you. And if somehow you really want to get this girl, don't contact her for 6 months then bump into her, ignore her and tell her you've met this amazing women who has changed your life. See if she isn't interested after knowing she can't have you. About a year ago I had a one night stand with this smoking hot chick, but really stupid. Next morning she texts me thanking me for the evening but saying that it would be nice not to talk about it and that it be wise if it didn't happen again because she had a boyfriend. I just answered "Don't worry it'll never ever happen again". That night she was back in my bed. (my paulftsk story YO!)
I tried being untouchable, and it doesn't work because I'm not a hot commodity. Playing hard to get works when you're throwing touchdowns or making bank, not when you're at the bottom of the social pyramid.
Sucks man but really you need to take responsibility on this. Also never talk to a girl who calls you stupid and disses you like that (intellectually stimulated? Sounds more like she's calling you an idiot, and you are one if you bought that). You were warned by her that she wasn't interested, IE - Shaken up over a previous relationship, which is code for "not you, just convenient way to let him off without telling him I'm not into him." Also don't get mad that she "took advantage of you." You are no victim since you let her take advantage of you! You are a victim of young mistakes. Wake up and smell the coffee and move on. We all have done stupid crap like that, so it's OK. The question is will you accept responsibility for this one and grow as a person or will you ignore your end of it and not learn, dooming yourself to repeat mistakes forever? Your choice. You just need to open up to yourself and find some self respect at this point. And I know I sound harsh but please understand this was written with much love for my fellow CFs member... hope things work out bro, I really do. And by work out I mean you move on and not give that biatch the time of day.
Your a man. You don't send texts or call women to thank them for anything. You cut wood in your backyard and drink Glenfiddich next to your fireplace. (obviously this is an image (maybe not?) but you get the point). Girls in highschool are dumb. If they send you a text you take your time before answering. That way she checks her phone, wonders if the text was sent?, wonders why you aren't answering?, wonders what your doing?, and, therefore, thinks about you. You create your own image. Be unattainable. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UF1fDF3MDg8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
HS is a cruel time in many people's lives. Honestly you can either lower your standards since HS is all about social hierarchy or you can wait until college where everyone forgets their r****dedness. Girls between 14-18 like stereotypical dudes (even if they say they dont). In shape, in sports, funny, edgy, cool, etc. so either conform to HS ways, or wait to find that girl who really is different (trust me they are out there). But you gotta get out of your comfort zone brochacho.
Theres no reason you can't be that guy. Its all about your attitude. Football players and bankers aren't the only guys getting laid.
I appreciate your honesty, but I should clarify the first part of your post. While she did tell me that she was shaken up about her previous relationship, she also told me [in october] that she liked talking to me, as she found me to be intelligent and liked that I "intellectually stimulated" her. I just find it incredulous that she would say something like that, and then choose an ignoramus over me.
Back to the self respect point. Don't let me EVER find you posting weak crap like this again. Grow a pair! So you don't throw touchdowns or make bank? So what? Stop crying and making such BS excuses. You know what the problem is here? You haven't had your balls drop. Grow up and stop playing victim. Once you take responsibility for yourself and start respecting yourself and acting like a man, women will respond. Until then they will smell the boy all over you. Crush the boy out of yourself! Take notes from this video. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/R1JT7tcKfOw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Didn't realize you were in high school. I don't even remember the girls I went for in high school, and I'm only 25. I can kind of picture them in my mind, but I get their names mixed up and have no idea what they're doing nowadays - nor do I care. That is how insignificant this will seem in just a few years. Besides, college is likely just around the corner for you. The worst thing you could do is tie yourself down in high school and not swim in the vast and diverse pool of vagina that will be college.
That's the thing though. I thought this girl was different. She's a bookworm, hangs out with more of a "nerdy" group, doesn't party. It's not like I was going for the cheerleading captain, this is someone who, by most indicators, is probably about equal to where I am on the social pyramid.
Seriously you need to stop talking like that. You aren't doing yourself any favors by sounding like a failure or comparing yourself to Bill Gates or Tom Brady or lesser versions. You need to go out there and find where you can actually take pride in yourself first. People will notice when you actually believe in yourself. Unless you're a real good liar or dishonest. But that would make you more like the girl you started this thread about. Seriously, find that which makes you happy first without anyone else. Build that which makes you happy that no one can take from you and you will attract those who want to know why.
I know you are hurt and are just looking for a place to vent and not looking for advice but just for future reference... "So, on Monday, I sent her a message, thanking her for going with me, and asking if we could do it again. Late that night, she sends me this whole big thing, about how she didn't want to get close to me, because she was afraid she'd hurt me. She says she's afraid she can't live up to what I want. I tell her I'm willing to take that chance, that I find her incredible (I really did)." Oddly enough, there are just a few beautiful women that would find that attractive. Some have some self-esteem issues and don't believe it. Others have plenty of self-esteem or pride (which is totally separate but the result is the same) and find that obvious and needy. This isn't some club girl so showing interest is subtle especially in the first few months. I don't mean don't talk to her for weeks, it's more like make her laugh, listen to her cry. go out for daytime fun which interests her or interests you. Make no moves unless you get the signal. Work your way up to nighttime events (Rocket games are always good). No presents...unless it's something insignificant that she just mentions in passing...then blow it off like it's no big deal and that's just you. Keep the beginning complements to clothing only. She will either see you for who you are and want to date or she will want to date someone else for some other reason. If it's the former, big win. If it's the later, there is nothing more you could have done so you just move on (hard as that is sometimes). Dating beautiful girls is like fishing, you have to entice them with the right bait to bite and bite hard before setting the hook.
Tell me then, how the hell am I supposed to act like a man? I've played hard to get before, didn't work. I treated girls like ****, didn't work. So, this year, I tried something different, I tried being nice, and that didn't work either.
Well I guess ya just learned that "Nerdy" girls have needs too, so you can't really judge a book by its cover? AmIRIGHT? In seriousness though, I feel for ya. I really do wish you better luck. Maybe get some athletic hobbies like rock climbing or dancing? It worked for a friend of mine that you remind me of. Also try dating out of your high school. Limiting yourself to one school is a horrible idea because you have to see that person all the time and they don't really miss you like they should.
also tell girls you don't date girls at your own school... makes you seem more unavailable and they'll think you're elusive
