Lets just say that what started off calm sure as hell didn't end that way. I am now officially counting down the time till Happy Hour....My liver is in for a long night!
I think it's funny that every relationship thread prominently features advice to dump whatever chick is involved. Very Seinfeldian. I will await further details before dispensing advice myself though, since it seems that 403 may have changed the problem on us.
I'd say you have the right to ask but that doesn't mean you have to be jealous. Just straight questions so you know where you stand. I once was dating a girl, and on opening night of one of my shows, I had a kiss scene with my "wife" that was rehearsed backstage, which was totally normal but some of the other crew girls love drama and told this this guy I acted with/my gf's friend that I was cheating on her backstage. It was a nightmare because I didn't even know what was going on until she didn't show up to the show. I got filled in after curtain call and threw one of the largest fits on record. The guy had told her before the show that I was cheating on her because he liked her, took her off wherever, and I didn't end up finding her until like 11 at the cast party when they drove up. My first instinct was to physically destroy my former friend, but as soon as I saw her crying, like really crying I felt so awful I couldn't do anything. I promised her I didn't do anything besides what I needed to for the show (The Crucible ironically), and got my "wife" to clear me, and anyone who didn't suck on crew. It was a nightmare. I don't talk to the girl anymore finally, she's doing awesome and me and the guy were bitter enemies for a good couple years. Now him and me are really good friends and hang out anytime I'm home.
Dude...you're totally going to be that drunk guy at the bar on a Wednesday night who will spill his life story to any yahoo who walks up. I raise a glass to you!
First I would like to start off with something that I know gets said here alot but is the truth.....This is the Greatest website ever!! Yeah well at first I just asked her straight up about why she didn't care to be around me and then immediately called whats-his-name. She got defensive and said something like " It was just you I didn't want to be around". So naturally I am like well I didn't appreciate the way that you handled things and told her if I behaved in this manner she would have blown a fuse. I guess that set her off cause Boy did she blow a fuse! I was told that I am insecure and immature, not capable of being in a "normal" relationship and I was called about every name you can think of....This is the same girl who is untrusting of my best friend who is a girl and who I have know a hell of alot longer then her. She doesn't even trust the two of us going to lunch together thinking instead that we'll go shag somewhere. And I get the 3rd degree anytime I even talk to my best friend, let alone see her. I know you maybe wondering whats the difference? I am always and have always been truthful about my best friend and my relationship. In the beginning I told her that blank is an important part of my life and it will remain that way and if it's a problem well then lets not proceed any farther. Back to the girlfriend....She essentially tried to turn things around on me saying that I am a horrible boyfriend and this and that. Yeah and as I am leaving I have to pull a matrix and dodge flying objects trying to escape with my life. Geez I can't wait till Happy Hour!!!
I think you need to be cautious franchise403. She is bringing this person up in conversations and then calls him after you've had an argument. You need to be straight forward ask her were you guys stand. Some advice: I wouldn't be wearing my heart on my sleeve if I were you.
My advice to you is to just not say anything at all anymore. Stop spending your time with her and go do things that make you happy about being you. Let her wonder why you arent so concerned about her anymore. As far as you having ties to some female who is just your bud well who knows if this is all payback. Because even though you pointed it out that this other girl is going to a part of your life from the beginning does not mean that its o.k. with your g/f now. I really do not know how this other dude really is. Maybe a snake in the grass or just trying to be a nice guy. But I do not waste time talking and being friends with women unless I plan on smashing them eventually. Don't let this girl get the best of you man. If she has lost respect for you its time to launch her a$$. Would she put up with you if you did this to her? I say go to treasures get a stripper to give you her number on a napkin and let your g/f find it. Make sure she has a messed up dancer name like Mercedez or some crap. Good luck.
Again, Thanks everyone for the advice and letting me vent. Whatever happens happens I guess. I am not gonna let her ruin the rest of my day. I will just deal with her later......Cause in about an hour I have a score to settle with some tequila!
One possible interpretation of her actions: she wants to break up, but she doesn't want to be the one to do it. She wants YOU to break up the relationship, so she won't feel guilty for cheating on you. Assuming you've done nothing to provoke this, all that stuff about you being an immature, insecure, horrible boyfriend is her trying to rationalize breaking up with you. It seems like she's already made up her mind. Bottom line: don't make any future plans with her. Agree to give her some space. And you probably shouldn't move in together at this point.
O' please come back and post after your bout with the bottle. Please. We need the alcholic's humor and humility.
i've been that other guy. i married a girl from the role of the "other guy." my intentions were completely harmless...particularly since i was dating someone else. but my wife and i became best friends while dating other people. completely platonic relationship. when those relationships ended...we continued to be great friends...and it was very weird transforming the relationship, frankly. but there's nothing better than marrying your best friend.
Anyways my girlfriend just had the nerve to show up at my work and act like nothing has happened. That just aggrevated me! Oh, I will be sure to post when I am plastered
I hate it when that happens...She's trying to gauge your reaction...It's all about the drama for the ladies...
Mack got it, i was just going to write the same thing, she's mad at you because she feels guilty that you arent the one being bad in the relationship. similar thing happened to a friend of mine, almost identical where she meets a guy and then tried to pick fights with him to get him to break up with her so she could be with the other guy. it ended up pretty bad, they were planning marriage and other stuff months before that. myself and his other friends knew she was that type anyway. i can offer one honest approach which is pretty simple but requires you to have a lot of control and poise. the honest approach is like this, and it does risk your relationship, you ask her directly if she wants to see other people because of so-and-so, and although you really want the relationship to work, you understand that both of you are still young and might not be ready for commitment, and that if she wants to see other people, you understand and would rather have her be happy than to have to see the relationship as something holding her back. say that you arent angry at her, you just want to keep things honestl. tell her that you don't want her to tell you right away, give her time to think about it. if she is unfaithful as presumed she'll take the window of opportunity and break up, but thats probably for the better because its a sooner or later thing. this question might also kick some sense into her and reevaluate her relationship with you and cause her to act differently and realize what she's doing, and this thing just becomes a speedbump for a stronger relationship. if you don't want to risk it and prefer a bad girlfriend to no girlfriend, don't do it. otherwise, you have nothing to lose. good luck.
