Question for parents out here. Though I am single, my brother and his wife have a beautiful 8-month old son. His wife wishes to go back to work and so they have a few options. They began taking him to a very nice day care. Though the cost was almost $800 a month there was a constant turnover of employees and the number of workers to babies increased. There was also the fact that there was a few children sick, and the day care did not let the other parents know about this specific sickness because they didn't want parents taking their children out and demanding credit for those days. They have met w/ several nanny's and found some suitable ones. If they are here legally but are not citizens what kind of information can be found about them?? We have references, but what about credit reports, criminal records and tax statements?? Fortunately though, i built my brother's townhome and he has camera's all throughout the inside and outside of the home. Any other suggestions?
Best thing is to call former employers....and ask them a zillion questions. You won't find tax records of them if they aren't cittzens....and unless you have her give you a fingerprint card, you wont be able trace her criminal history. The cameras are good....they can always go next door and watch the cameras for a few hours and see what she does/doesnt do.
He HE HE. As a rich guy, who constantly argues for that class, I would argue that you consider paying more than $800, month if you want to decrease the turnover. Maybe treat them better, too. You know supply and demand. Free markets and all. I thought you believed in that. Amusingly I would suspect that when choosing cognac, cigars or titty bars that you would argue that you get what you pay for. Of course, from your political perspective you would probably argue that it would sap these nannies' moral fiber and work ethic if you or your brother did pay them a few hundred more per month.
Tell him that if they can afford it one of them should stay home. There is no substitute for a parent at home. The kid will get sick if you put him in day care, no doubt about it. My wife stays home, and our 2 year old just started Mom's day out, which is a 2 day a week 4 hours a day deal, and he has had 2 colds in 2 months. One of which I am still fighting off Bronchitis from. DD
If they're not family, we won't use a babysitter or nanny unless 1) they have been referred by close friends or family and 2) our children are old enough to communicate any issues with us.
first of all.... while yes kids get ill more in daycare, they do tend to have better immune systems by the time they get to kindergarten than full-time stay at home toddlers. but why not consider a private home daycare. usually there are fewer kids (4-6). you get to know the other parents better. and most states require home daycares to be licensed so the state will have already done some checking. our 18month son has been in one since about 10 months old.. he gets the benefit of interacting with other kids but not so much as to catch every illness that comes down the pike... plus one huge benefit is that his babysitter doesn't call to pick him up for every runny nose. a lot of daycares send kids home at the slightest hint of an illness...
You're quite a fool glynch and obviously understand little. As a capitalist, I saw that the services recieved were not comparable to the amount being paid. Therefore we were looking at hiring an individual to do the job. The problem really is that a daycare is a small business. Because of artificial price floors and benefits that you guys love, its difficult for them to pay the proper number of employees therefore they must put much more work on fewer people resulting in turnover. Once again, you know little about what drives business and commerce and simply leech off of that production. Your ideals drive lawsuits, constant pushes to force businesses to give more and more. Your ideals leech of the system and do not produce a damn thing.
Poppycock ! Their immune systems are not any better, it is just that they have had a bunch of the viruses/colds already and will not get them. So, they either get sick in Day care, or in Kindergarten...but they will get sick. I think there are about 300 documented cold varieties, and each time you get one, you are immune to that strain in the future. DD
If you must use a nanny, use someone you already know and pay him or her well. Many women I know have hired the nursury workers from our church who have been there for over five years and have worked with many of the families. Otherwise, if she's ready to go back to work, I think it is probably best if he stays home. You don't really want your child to be raised by someone else. If they are raised by someone else, there are far more questions than simply "how safe is this person?" that should be asked. Does the nanny share their views about discipline? Moral/ethical values? When the child should start learning colors, numbers, letters, etc? Given that children are supposed to be getting about 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night around that age, let's say from 7pm to about 7am, the nanny is going to be the one who will see the child for almost all of his waking hours. Sorry to go on about that, I am mostly giving myself a pep talk about the decision I've made to stay home with Lydia. Even though I work out of the home and don't have to close my business to care for her, I still find there is a great deal of pressure on me (mostly from other women) to "get a real job."
Trust Noone! Even good nannies can screw up. I had a dog nannie for a bit who I trusted. I came home one day to find my door partially ajar and unlocked. I was shellshocked and pissed off. How could I trust this person in my home if she couldn't even remember to close and lock the door on the way out? Okay...poor example. LOL.
i hear ya. my wife stays home with our boys. it's a sacrifice financially, without a doubt. but one we make willingly.
The job you have chosen is by far the most honorable and important job you can have, you are raising a child, teaching her right from wrong, giving her safety, and keeping her out of traffic. I APPLAUD your decision. Anyone who CHOOSES (some dont have a choice) to work rather than raise their children should not be a parent. DD
Interesting that other women pressure you to get a real job... I always felt like it was the other way. There seems to be a lot of societal pressure to be a good mommy and a proper woman by staying home with your kids. It's weird for our generation, because we were brought up being told that women didn't have to stay home anymore and you could be whatever you wanted to be. Then, when everyone actually got to the age where they could have the kids, they all stayed home. It's like the rug being pulled out from under you. Of course, they're probably the ones whose mothers worked while mine didn't. They probably wished they could have had more parental presence at home, while mine were home so much I wished they'd give me a little more space. Of course, the problem is that you have a kid and somebody needs to watch it and make sure it learns and grows right during those early years when so much of the personality is being formed. There are multiple ways to do it. Some parents work different shifts or work part-time. The father can stay home. Some people live with or near friends or relatives and trade off child care. And, of course, I have students who have young kids and work and go to school. Some of them are single moms. I don't know how they do it, and it can't be easy, but it gets done. We don't all have a job that you can do from home. I'm not sure if I will ever have kids... if I do, and if I get tenure here, it would be a severe setback to quit my academic job. Besides, I would go nuts if I wasn't working and getting out and seeing people. I like being busy. I'm not sure how we could afford it... if I have kids with "Ferdinand", he would probably be the one at home most of the time. He could work some evenings or weekends. I could probably just do a lot more of my work from home (when I'm not actually in class) and be OK career-wise. The problem is that I would have to give up a lot of my hobbies, especially most of my music, and that's what would hurt the most. I guess I'm a selfish overgrown spoiled kid.
I trust you don't spend too much time worrying about this. I have a "real job" that most people would consider fairly prestigous. IMO it pales in importance to my job of being a good dad (my wife has been a full time mom/homemaker for the last 14 years who has recently started a home-based business). There is nothing more important or rewarding than the job of being a parent. Lydia (and perhaps other baby JV's) will be gone before you know it, and then you can work yourself to the bone while JV spends all his time on the internet if that's what you desire.
I'm not sure I'd say I spend too much time worrying about this but I've certainly thought about the subject a lot. I think it is interesting to listen to the way men and women talk about their jobs. Men who really like the work they do and also have children generally say that their children still come first for them. But for the most part, men don't seem to like their jobs all that much. Women who have children and are working often explain they couldn't stop working because they LOVE their jobs. I've often heard this in an office where men with the exact same job (and women without kids) can't stop complaining about how boring and unfulfilling the job is. I think this reflects the struggle that women are facing. I think I'm about the same age as Isabel and I remember being told that women could do everything. We were expected to have a great and prestigous career AND marry well and be excellent mothers. I have a number of friends who are working right now and are constantly complaining that their mothers are pressuring them to get married before they become "old maids." If they are already married people are always asking when they'll have children. And if they have children they feel like they are being negligent by not staying home with them. On the other hand, my friends who are staying home with their children feel pressured to start working again. The problem usually isn't financial although, of course two incomes are greter than one. The problem is that whatever decision a woman makes, she often wants everyone else on board with her. For example, I often hear women say "I couldn't stay home the way you are, I would get bored!" Obviously implying I don't actually DO anything. Of course, having children is a major change and caring for them sucks up a great deal of time and energy. But most parents still manage to make a little room for hobbies, friends, book clubs, band practice, and - dare I say - posting on the BBS? The following is a long joke a friend sent but a great explanation of why women don't have time to get bored.
