After a lot of deliberation, I have finally decided how everyone will celebrate my birthday. Below is the itenerary. It will begin at Mark's for supper sharply at 6 p.m Saturday, February 21st. All are invited to attend this leg. We will be going to acknowledge Marc's birthday (Mark's vs. Marc. Get it? Hilarious.) Be sure to tell him that while there, as this will be the only acknowledgement he receives the rest of the evening. I prefer a medium-rare dry-aged porterhouse. Marc can choose his meal. Now, I cannot overstate the necessity of punctuality for this gala. We will need someone to rent a limo or a party bus to make sure all are accounted for. Perhaps an RV? I'll let one of y'all decide the details. From there, we will be heading to Ra Sushi to people watch. I suggest someone arrive early to save the table, as I typically carry an entourage of 30 people for these occasions. I nominate dum dum Rollins bicycle for this priveledge. After that we will meander over to the Square Falls besides the Transco Tower where everyone can take their picture with me. I reserve the right to veto any picture or person who is not deemed appropriately attired. Next, we will saunter over to The Drake, where we will flip everybody off. I still hate The Drake. Moving on, we will head for Uropa. All are welcome to "grope" during the "Ugropa time." Except Costas. His gropes always end weird. At 2 a.m. sharp, we will all head to Treasures for additional entertainment. I would prefer my "tip" money to be rationed as such: $30 in ones. $200 in twenties. I am obviously entitled to have "first choice" on the entertainment, but I feel everyone should be reminded now due to the lateness of our arrival and assumed intoxication stages of some by then. We will finish off the evening at Hotel Derrick in one of the Suites. I'm not terribly picky, so allocate the best room per everyone's donations. I've taken the liberty of calling ahead to the Hotel to reserve a "balloon drop" upon my arrival sharply at 3:30 a.m. For those unable to stay the night in the suite, I've already reserved 15 rooms under the name "Jim Awesome." Please call in advance. If for some reason, all are taken when you book, please let me know. I certainly don't want anyone feeling left out. As for ice sculptures, champagne, etc. Not entirely necessary, and should be obtained only if there is money left over. Sunday, at 10:00 a.m. sharp, we will all head to Brady's Landing for brunch. The have a prix fixe set up with mimosas. Afterwards, all are welcome to head their separate ways, but for those so inclined, a full orgy will conclude the festivities at Sky Bar. Please RSVP. Thanks to all in advance.
LOL. Pretty much. I emailed this out to a bunch of my friends earlier today. It's a lot funnier if you know some of the people involved. ie. dum dum Rollins bicycle is a nickname I gave this girl we know because she's a ditz (dum dum), she has been caught in a few lies (so I call her Rollins after Rollins' band song "Liar) and bicycle because everyone has had a ride. I wrote it to make fun of every single girl we know's birthdays where they have to have at least two to three venues and they Evite about 100 people.
My birthday was Wednesday. I turned 40. i grilled steaks and played Wii with my family in the living room. Watched the Rockets win.
That is ten times even funnier than what you said earlier! Does she know about her moniker...or should I say, does she understand what each part means?
"Fatty FatBastard has gone beyond all-star status...or even MVP status...to rank now...as one of the greatest posters to ever play the game at any position."
First off, Treasures closes at 2AM. Take it from a professional. Secondly, SkyBar? You have got to be kidding! Fatty, I never took you for a poser, but now I am beginning to wonder. Seriously, what's next? Mo's Steakhouse? PS: You are absolutely right about the Drake. It sucks purple pimply donkey balls.
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Bro, first off, as stated above, this entire post was sent sarcastically. But I am open to everything. I'll let my crew figure it out. As for Treasures, I haven't been in a while, but I've heard that they still open up the breakfast buffet at 2 a.m. and stay open until 4. And since this is coming from a waitress that works there... As for Sky Bar? I've never seen so many Aqua Velva's in the same place. That was entirely sarcastic. That said, we will be doing something this next Sat. Give me a call if you'd like to join.
