You're that other guy she's cheating with, huh? In your case it is their business, sir, because your neighbor is NOT your friend as the person in Xerobull's situation is to him, and you can just move and not deal with such person, but Xerobull cannot just "defriend" this person. Your "someone else's business" argument is validated by "sometimes" correctly. Xerobull,I would suggest not saying anything at all directly, and just go out with them on occasions when you might think she might otherwise cheat on him, and start talking during such dinner or outing about how you feel if your friend's wife was cheating and she was being mean to him. Mention this to him and her together and make it seem like it was someone else in this situation, sort of like a HAMLET-style play for the uncle who killed Hamlet's dad. Watch her face turn red and her stomach churn with GUILT. Your friend will start to notice this. You won't say anything directly, but you've started the wheels turning. IT IS your business. I hate it when people hear wrongdoing or see it being done, and they cop out with "it's not my business." You wouldn't like someone cheating on you, so why let someone else cheat on your friend?
agreed. it's no different than seeing someone sneaking around your neighbor's yard who clearly doesn't belong there. i think it's your duty as a neighbor to notify them or the cops if you certain someone is trying to break in. i'd be pissed if my neighbor thought it wasn't his business to look out for the well being of his neighbors....unless those neighbors are the troublemakers of course.
Simple question - if the roles were reversed, and a friend of yours knew your wife was cheating on you, would you want him to tell you? Does he know about the cheating that happened before they got married? As far as the kids go, that certainly is a problem. But if she really is cheating, it's not going to get better, and that means it's eventually going to break down into an unhealthy marriage, which is no better for the kid (or a divorce, in which case you're at square 1 anyway). For the people saying "your friendship might be changed forever" or whatnot - I don't see the relevance of even considering that. If you're more worried about the friendship than what's actually best for your friend, it's not much of a friendship anyway.
If kids are as you say the most important thing in the world, then you should refrain from telling him about her. Some on here have said that the 'cheating' wife will eventually ruin their marriage anyway well no one knows that for sure. He is an uber-naive and great guy so what he doesn't know won't hurt him and his marriage/kids. Don't tell him until the kids leave the nest.
What doesn't guarantee that she might change for the better and actually make an example of herself so her kids learn from this experience like the parents did? All the more reason to tell him is the kids, sir! You want Xerobull to wait until the kids are away either on their own or to college? Ha! Don't make me laugh... What kind of ZERO BULL is that?
To answer your question is to ask yourself the same. Would you want to know your wife is cheating on you even from a complete stranger?
Is there any way you can tell this guy what you think is going on in a casual way? I know that sounds weird but if you sit him down and give him "the talk" about it you let him know that you think it's a big deal and that puts a strain on your friendship with him. However, if you sorta throw in something like "don't you ever get suspicious of X,Y,Z" while you two are talking about your relationships (since you will steer the conversation there) it can take away the pressure of the subject. Then, if he isn't interested in talking or seems to get upset you can quickly move on to something else. I forgot this initially but back a few years I had a friend with a real scummy B of a girlfriend. I never had the proof of her cheating so I left it alone but a mutual friend of ours would constantly tell the dude half-jokingly that he thought she was up to no good. That was enough to plant the seed that got the guy to do some checking up on her. He ended up catching her himself and no friendships were stressed over it.
That show RULES I dont know spanish at all and catch a little bit of it, so you know why I'm watching...
Tell him!!! I would want a friend to tell me if my wife was cheating. But you had better be 100% sure that she's currently cheating.
I gotta agree with the other posters to not tell him anything if you don't have any definitive proof. If you are going to tell him you need to be fully aware that you might be breaking up his marriage and family. That is a heavy responsibility and not something that you should do just based on suspicions.
