Moral Dilemma: I have a really good friend who is married to a real b****. She's pretty much worthless. There was some cheating on her part before the marriage, but I stayed out of it because they had a long-distance relationship and I had yet to become good friends with this guy (I knew her first via mutual friends, then got to know him). Recently my wife and I have begun to suspect his wife of cheating. I can't prove any of this, but if you put the pieces together, it's pretty convincing. The big problem is that there is a child involved. I think marriage should be a lasting compact, but I understand that sometimes things don't work out, people change and grow apart, etc. But I also think that kids are the most important things in the world and that it's not the worst thing in the world to stay together with someone until they are out of the house. Should I tell this guy what I think? He's one of those super nice people who would give a complete stranger the shirt off his back in a snowstorm for no reason other than kindness. He's not dumb, but he is super naive and believes that everyone is intrinsically good, which is not true, especially of his wife, who I think would be Jerry Springer fodder in another relationship.
That's such a bummer. Tough choice. Kids always make things a whole lot more complicated, otherwise this would be a no brainer. Why do people have to be such scumbags?
Man that sucks. On one hand, you want to be a good friend and let him know what's up. It seems you are pretty sure about your assertions, and aren't just speculating. It would probably be the best thing you could do as a friend to let him know. You never want someone to go down like that. Yet, sometimes when someone is caught in a relationship like that they become blinded. Regardless of what you say, he may not believe it. Further more, it could cause him to question your friendship. I think you have to tell him though. Regardless of whether he likes what you tell him, it is your obligation as a friend to look out for him. Good luck though, I always hate these types of situations..
Mostly in Texas. Link I think there's a spanish-speaking ripoff show that is filmed in Houston. I love that crap. Secretos? I won't go that way though. That show is a train-wreck and my buddy deserves better.
Cheaters is filmed in Dallas, or at least it used to be. Have not watched it in years Xerobull-you are going to have to have some sort of proof. Tough to tell a guy that his wife (and mother of his child) is cheating unless you have something concrete to back it up. You are doing the right thing by wanting to tell your friend about what she might be doing, but he's going to believe her denial and might resent you if you don't have proof. I know this from experience. My best friend in college's girlfriend (now wife) cheated on him during Spring Break in Mexico (shocker). My girlfriend saw it, I told him, she denied it vehemently and he chose to believe her and resented me for it and we really are not friends anymore.
You run the risk of coming out of this looking like the bad guy and losing your friend while driving him closer to her. Your friend sounds reasonable but you just never know how people will react when love is involved. I say you lay out what you know about her and what you think is going on with her. It's worth the risk to get a good friend out of bad situation that will undoubtedly get worse.
It's a matter of his temperament, whether he likes things the way they are or one who wants to know the truth. Also matters if he's the type that turns on the messenger.
What he does not yet know won't hurt him. IMO, it would be better to confront his wife. Tell her that you suspect she is cheating on your friend and you want her to cut it out. Tell her that the only reason you didn't go straight to him was because of the child, but if she continues to cheat you'll tell him.
Or try to get her to cheat WITH him. If she does it then he will have his proof and a little bonus (with the built in excuse for his own wife that he did it for his friend).
Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want your friend to do the same? Sacrificing your friendship for the short term is better than living a lie for the long term. If you're sure about it, forge some irrefutable evidence that he would definitely find and believe.
Well, if you've ever dealt with a habitual liar, you know how they act when cornered. They freak the hell out and in the end the situation is worse. That's how this chick is. She's a super manipulator and lies all of the time. I can certainly prove that with her emails to my wife. I like to take the high road and not resort to guerrilla tactics when dealing with people. I'm sure I could trick this chick into confessing, too. Or even staring something with me. I freaking hate drama. That's part of my dilemma. I feel like my options are limited by my stance on such things, and I'm being selfish.
While you want to do what will (in your opinion) help your friend, and that is commendable, you really need to mind your own business. It isn't your life or marriage. This is coming from a person that was cheated on by my ex multiple times. Everyone has to make their own decisions in their own time.
