how many of you have ever had a moment of enlightenment: a moment where all that you have done in life and, most importantly, why you have done those things becomes clear? this past saturday night i had a moment of enlightenment. it was the most beautiful, relieving, empowering feeling i have ever known. for the first time in my life, i cried tears of exquisite joy...and i have not stopped since. i understood, for the first time, how much my childhood has affected the remainder of my life - on a subconscious level. how it has dictated every decision that i thought i was making. i say "thought i was making" because, in reality, i was not making a choice. the choices were already made. i just didn't know it. now, i have control of the decisions in my life. i now know why i f---ed over so many women in my life that loved me so dearly. i now know why my love for them was never, in my opinion, enough. put simply, i did not love myself enough. why not? well, that's personal, but i think there are many that can relate to what i'm saying, no matter what you've specifically been through. the point is that prior events can dictate the remainder of your life until you truly deal with those situations and the effect it had on you. ................ i realize this post may not make sense to a large group of people that read it. but i know that there is a sector that it does make sense to, and they know how i'm feeling and what i've been through. to those that are confused, hurt, depressed, angry, etc. my words of advice are simple: keep fighting. one day you'll break through and you'll never see life the same way again. one day you'll learn to do the one thing i have spent 29 years trying to do: let. go. ..... if there were a emoticon for "exhalation" i'd gladly paste 29 of them here. life, for me, has begun.
i certainly don't know your personal story...but i'm so happy for you that you've found some peace. that's great.
It's the same advice I would give someone who is depressed, except fot the "enjoy" it part. It's called impermanence. Check it out.
disagreed...i've seen it last. one of my closest friends went through hell from an abusive relationship he experienced as a boy. and when he finally dealt with that, he was able to see how that affected relationships throughout his life....and with that knowledge, he was able to deal with it and counter-balance that. his life was completely changed because of that. "i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me, so i can say, 'this is the way that i used to be.'" -- John Mayer
I not say the understanding won't last (even though it might not) I am saying the emotions will not. It is always good to realize this, when you are happy or sad. When your emotions are way up, the comedown can be even harder because you expect it to last. Emotions are fleeting, do not rely on them. I was honestly trying to help you out, Verse. A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!" "It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly. A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!' "It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly
Sure the emotion itself won't last forever, but the downs caused by those specific areas in his life can change. It doens't mean that he'll never have down emotions, he's just trying to solve issues that have caused him down emotions. Growing as a person, sort of thing. I mean, I have a bad relationship with my father, and that causes me grief. If we were to work out our differences and repair our relationship (or I found a way to otherwise deal with it beyond closing him off and making excuses for the fact that he's never liked me or my sister), that specific thing (my bad relationship with my Dad) wouldn't cause me the grief it does any longer. But I would imagine there would be other times when I have down times caused by other things.
i can't help but chuckle at your response. the events i went through as a child were the "bubble" that encapsulized my adult life. i just never knew the world wasn't the way i saw it. my viewpoint was skewed. fortunately, that bubble was, as your signature says "fleeting" and "illusory". the irony if it all is that, illusory or not, it was my reality - which is all that matters, anyway. perception is reality, correct? i don't care about the emotion lasting forever. of course it won't. emotions change. the process by which a person makes their decisions is what is most important and that does not have to change. read your original response again. never mind what you meant to say. just read it, and think about what that says about you as a person...
Verse, You don't have to answer, but was this "enlightenment" something you cam to on your own, caused by an event, or brought about with assistance (ie. counseling)?
Yeah it's all about ego. We suffer because we cling to our perceptions about ourselves and reality. (And if we have wrong perceptions about ourselves, just think about how we do it to others). But as soon as we think we have a handle of things, and we understand, something will happen that will cause the ground beneath us to give way once again. According to a Buddhism stand point, what that we see around us is not real, it is only perception therefore reality is beyond perception. Perception deludes us to illusion. Illusion is normal state of the mind that percieves the world around us. To brake through illusion, we need to understand basic concept of nature. Elightenment indeed!
So Mr. Meowgi's point is that it's impossible to ever grow as a person? When you think you've grown, it just means you're fooling yourself and will eventually be plagued by the same things you were once plagued by. I guess this supports the idea that therapy is worthless.
Nah, you continue to grow and you continue to make mistakes, and change makes it all possible. If you told yourself you were grown, and you had all the answers, wouldn't you be fooling yourself? Enlightenment is the process itself, it must come little by little, otherwise it would overwhelm.
all three. repeating the same actions over and over again eventually made it clear to me that i was the only common denominator. thus, i couldn't blame anyone else. my friends, and some trips to psychiatrists/psychologists, helped me to look at my actions from different viewpoints. but, ultimately, it came down to me seeing my actions for what they were: not valuing myself enough...not loving myself enough...and understanding why i never have valued myself or loved myself enough. i'll say this much: if you are a parent, love your child. they NEED it. it not only gives them security and makes them feel loved, it also TEACHES them how to give love....to themselves and others.
MR. MEOWGI, i must say that i have misjudged you (although with understandable reasons). reading your last few posts, let me say that you are quite wise. email me, if you get a chance: traceywjones@hotmail.com i'm interested in some of the literature you may have read that speaks to such topics. my current favorite is "Hagakure". have you read it?
because you demanded it...more John Mayer (i can't help it...this thread reminds me SO much of a song on his newer album called New Deep) Cause ever since I tried trying not to find every little meaning in my life it's been fine i've been cool with my new golden rule Numb is the new deep Done with the old me And talk is the same cheap it's been I'm a new man I wear a new cologne and you wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed I know what you'll say this won't last longer than the rest of the day but you're wrong this time you're wrong
I've had that a few times about different things. When I was 17 and in high school, I used to take my study hall in the empty band room so I could practice. I had been studying music theory a little bit over the past year. One afternoon I was sitting at the piano and, all of a sudden, it just SNAPPED. I mean, I totally figured out how all the chords and scales worked together. Bam! Just like that. The piano looked like it have 5000 keys on it. It was awesome. I've had that moment with family stuff as well. I actually seek out those moments. I love that experience and wish I could have it more often.
Mr. Meowgi's point is that we are never perfect or never complete. I think from Verse's first post, he has realized why he has had issues with women in his life. Its great that he has discovered the root of those issues, but there are other aspects of life that we have to deal with, that we may think we handle fine and we may discover that we have issues there also. Constant growth. Life is about the journey, not the destination, I know that's quirky and cliche but it is so true.
