Well, since everyone here is so facinated with nicknames, we have to hook Collier up with one. He has to have SOME memories of his three year NBA career to pass along to his grandchildren, right? A few suggestions: White Molasses The Minute Man (as in one minute of playing time per night) J-Coll Opie FrankenCollier
The Collier Monument Big Dull Dud Not-so-slim Shady Lenny Monolith (Awww, what was that nickname from the big, dumb guy in Full Metal Jacket?)
The Big Nothing The Garbage Man(Referring to the Garbage Minutes he gets) The White Puff Cream Puff Michelin Man(Dunno why but he kinda reminds me of him...) Whipped Cream(He's always getting whipped) Jell-O (J E L L O......He's Alive) Marshmellow Usher(He greets the players coming to the bench) .......
Stay-Puff Anti-Hakeem Glacier White Yugo Private (Gomer) Pyle (the ref you're looking for, mr_gootan...) Mr. Softee Mr. NBDL Personally, I think we should come up with some (positive) badass names for him. Y'know, to help his confidence and all. If we gave him a really cool name, even if it doesn't fit him, maybe he'll start putting up 20/10 games for us. I'll start out: Terminator Mr. Explosivo Emperor Jason I Jason Voorhies Soul Devourer White Highlight Optimus Prime The Franchise, Part II Sadly, he really does look like Private Pyle from FMJ...
Hmmm...The Houston Rockets meet Full Metal Jacket: Rudy: What the hell was that you just did, Private Collier!!! Collier: Sir, that was my turnaround jumper, sir! Rudy: A TURNAROUND, private Collier?!?! That was more like a Reacharound!!! I've seen midgets on rollerskates put up better jumpers than that!!! Why didn't you grab that rebound, Private Collier?!?! Collier: Sir, I forgot to box out, Sir! Rudy: That's right, Private Collier! You forgot to box out! If you can't clean the glass in an NBA game, maybe you're more suited to cleaning the glass of the skyscrapers in Greenway Plaza!!! What the hell do you have to say for yourself, Private Collier!!! Collier: Sir, I'll try harder next time, Sir! Rudy: No, private Collier!!! There will NOT be a next time, because you're riding the bench!!! You'll be so far down the bench, that you'll need to make collect calls to talk to Steve and Cat!!! You are the most pathetic excuse for a basketball player I have ever seen, Private Collier!!! You make Rodrick Rhodes look like a Hall of Famer, Private Collier!!! Get out of my sight, you pathetic waste of a human being!!!
LOL! This is some funny stuff. I was thinking Gomer Pyle myself. Collier fits the profile perfectly- big, dumb, clumsy white kid.
How about "Collier is making more money than anyone on the bbs" or Steve Francis intelligent wise makes Collier look like Einstein or Cat makes Collier's shot selection look like Shaq's or Collier may not be as talented as Cato but without Collier's in the league Cato would be writing children's books (he tried a real book but....)after he washes the NBA's dishes or Collier may not be a shooter like Bullard but at least he's not a Comets announcer or Collier may not be a TMo but atleast..oh wait..neither one of them has skills or Collier may not be Eddie Griffin but atleast he can bench more than Drew Gooden's jockstrap or Collier may not be as good as KT but atleast if he was...well we still would trade him or Collier may not be Moochie but atleast we don't have to worry about him jumping on the scorers table..he can't jump that high or Collier may not be Langhi but since he is white he will never live it down, he will be called dumb and goofy by everyone stupid enough to make generalization hate to think what the non-color blinded people are going to say about Ming JUST REMEMBER YOU DON"T HAVE TO BE WHITE TO BE A STUPID REDNECK, you just have to be stupid enough to be one. JASON "the COLLOSAL" COLLIER
