OK, There's this girl in my class that plays soccer and I "think" she might like me. Would a 20 year old girl ever just come out and say I like you, or do I have to ask her out. I'm pretty shy about that kind of stuff. She's somewhat flirty as in she smiles and bats her eyes and teases me and has squeezed my shoulder (could mean anything), and when she found out we had the same b-day, she said "see. We're the perfect match." Imo, that could mean anything, I don't know. My brother, an athletic trainer, says she does turn heads in the training room. She's cute, but she's not model hot either. I think their is an air about her that attracts guys. I do know that she doesn't have a boyfriend right now. I would think she would date a baseball/football player (she hangs with them), but my brother says that alot of athletes like to date outside of athletic circles. I like her. I like her like I wanna date her like her, not get drunk and have sex like her. I think our personalities are compatible. The thing is, class is almost over. I was thinking of asking her out on the last day of class. My approach would have been "hey, class is over, but I'd really like to keep in touch." I already have her #, we were partners for a class project. My friend, who just opened a restaurant said I should say "hey, my friends restaurant just opened, let's go have dinner there." I think that's a bit forward, and I hate putting people on the spot, I'm just polite like that I guess. Any advice?
Actually, I think the friend's restaurant thing is perfect. It's somewhere you're going anyway, you'd just prefer a companion, if not, it's cool. It's always easier to ask people out when you already have something planned like a concert, game, etc.
gr8-1, you've got a good idea. Let me tweak it just a bit. Instead of asking her out to dinner straight up, ask her for her number so ya'll can keep in touch when classes are done. Then the next Thursday call her to come barhopping on 6th with you and your friends. Bring some chick friends so that they can put in a good word for you. This idea is totally chill, because it's not like you're asking out on a date, just asking her to come party with you. Just don't get totally sh*t faced and say some dumbass things -> huge turnoff. You'll pretty much know from the way that she responds when ya'll are sitting around the Aquarium or Library sipping on $1 Heinekens and Red Stripes whether or not she wants to be more than friends. Trust me on this on gr8-1. The amount of play I've gotten from this strategy defies all logic. I quote, "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money and that you want to party."
baqui, I know what you mean. Alot of times, the word date does make a girl feel uncomfortable, even if they like you. It's too formal. I don't know. I already have her #. We were partners for a project.
Asking her out to dinner is not putting her on the spot. You might try lunch first though. Don't be hesitant...most women don't like guys who don't seem to know what they want. Take control of the situation...if it works out, great! If not, you move on having lost nothing. There is no use in wasting time wondering whether or not she likes you or not. If you like her, ask her out. I don't like the party idea...there may be other wolves on the prowl. You want to showcase YOU and not everyone else. Take time to get to know each other on a more one to one basis. NO MOVIES on a first date, btw. You two will just sit there for 2 hours not getting to know each other. Talk to her and ask her questions (without making it sound like a job interview). She'll love the attention. Remember the things she says and she'll be impressed down the road when you bring up something she likes again. If she indeed said "we are the perfect match" that is a good sign of sorts. Take it slow but not so slow she thinks you aren't interested. You have to show her what sets you apart from the others trying to win her attention. Again, make her feel special. Good luck.
old school, the movie thing really never works for me on a first date. I just always did that becuz I thought a first date meant "dinner and a movie." She is a real cool girl with a great sense of humor. But, the fact that she plays soccer for UT, intimidates me. I also don't handle rejection well. I'd be depressed if she says know.
I'm probably not one to take advice from, but I figured I'd muddy the waters. Imo, waiting for the last day of classes or devising some kind of its-a-date-but-its-not sort of scenario will look cowardly. I know that's the point -- you don't want to have to keep seeing her in class after she's ripped your heart out and tossed it in a dumpster. Cowardly may not be a bad or unattractive thing. But, I'd think you'd get best results by doing the courageous thing in putting yourself on the line. Succeed or fail, it may still be the best thing for your own psyche (or not; I hardly even know you. ) Besides all that, though it doesn't seem like a come-on to you, your description of her behavior looks like a come-on to me. If it is, you inaction is telling her that you are not interested. You must do something to correct that perception. She won't ask you out (well, maybe on the last day of classes), so you'd better do something. Why would you think she'd want to date an athlete? It makes sense that she'd hang out with them because they have a social structure that groups them together. That doesn't necessarily mean she chooses to be friends with them or date them, only that it is easier to do so.
First off, saying, "see, we're a perfect match" should be like a slap in the face with a flounder. Also, physical contact is almost always a dead giveaway. She has made her feelings clear. Second, there is a VERY fine line between being confident and being an ass. Women do like men who know what they want but most men, I would hope, want women who feel the same way. Directionless people are unstable and just plain uncomfortable. If I want that, I'll watch Six Feet Under. Just try being honest. Suck it up and say, "I really like you. Would you like to go out ..." Don't say "sometime." Set a day and time. If you are nervous and that's too much, just ask one morning, "You doing anything right now? Wanna go get some lunch? My treat!" It's non-commital enough to avoid the pressure (you might ask a co-worker the same thing) but it will give you a chance to hang out with her and, if all goes well, at the end of lunch, ask her out for real. Good luck.
Being on this bbs is like having a 100 older brothers and sisters. Well, I guess DoD would be more of a father figure. Juan, I don't want to ask her out now because if she says know, I still have to sit next to her in class. Awkward, ya know? Jeff, what if she was kidding about the "perfect match" thing? I mean we do have a pretty rare b-day. I don't want to misconstrue anything. That would make the situation even more awkward. To be honest, she does initiate more of the conversations with me. But, I am also an unintentional class clown. So, I could appear to be stand offish, yes. Jeff, I can't tell her I like her. That would be weird.
Athletic Soccer playing chick. Man, you're a lucky man. You better hope You can hold her jock strap. I mean that in a good way, i mean you don't want her out performing you.
gr8: I told my wife about how she has acted around you and she said, "What does he need, to be hit on the head with a hammer?" I understand that you can't tell her you like her. That's tough. However, what is the absolute worst thing that could happen? She rejects you and calls you an idiot? Big freakin' deal. At least you KNOW what she thinks. Try this exercise: In 10 years, will you regret more being rejected or not even giving it a shot?
gr8-1 - I think Jeff is pretty accurate. Personally, the "I like you part" is a little forward for me at this point but otherwise he's on target. Even if she wasn't very serious about the "perfect match" comment, physical contact is a strong indicator... and so is eye contact when your having lunch/dinner with her. Remember - you miss 100% of the shots you don't take! Good luck and let us know.
Look guys, she doesn't maul me or anything, she's squeezed my shoulder a couple times and slapped my forearm when we were kidding around once. Any chance she asks me out? I'm kind of waiting for that. Jeff, I do know I will regret not asking her out. She literally is everything I look for. Maybe I'll see her out and buy her a drink instead though?
1. Physical contact from her is significant. It means she feels comfortable around you. That's good. It signifies an openess to taking the relationship further. 2. No. She's not going to ask you out. She's been throwing you signals left and right. You're the one who hasn't been giving her clues. She's probably already had this same conversation with her friends. "He seems to like me. We talk a lot. I even told him we'd be a perfect match. But he won't ask me out. Why?" 3. You know, it doesn't have to be a full-blown date. Just casually after class tell her you're going to get a bite to eat and ask if she'd like to come with you. It doesn't have to be any big deal.
Not to beat on a dead horse, but you are doing both yourself and her a disservice by not just asking her out yourself. You don't really need a plan or anything, just see if she wants to go out. It is no big deal. It is pretty much the same advice everyone in this thread has given you.
Just ask her what she is doing this weekend. Just to break the ice. If she doesn't seem to busy then ask if she would like to go do something. The restaurant idea is easy too. You could just call her up and ask if she wants to go out? Go for it. Don't wait for her.
Of course, now that you've solicited all of this free advice, it is imperative that you share the results with your pro-bono shrinks
