THIS IS A JOKE. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED OR HAVE CHILDREN AND WILL BE EASILY OFFENDED, STOP READING NOW otherwise, enjoy. ================================ Halloween Safety Tips Halloween, though lots of frightful fun, can also be full of potential dangers. Here are some tips to make your kids' All Saints Eve an All "Safe" Eve: -Many troublemakers and dangerous people come out on Halloween night. To be safe, trick or treat in early March. -Be sure your child closes their eyes before you drill eyeholes in mask. -Pack your child's costume with safety flares. -Pack your child's rectum with razor blades to make them less desirable to would-be molestors -Safety and defense go hand in hand. Be sure your child's handgun has at least a 10 round magazine and is at least .38 caliber to ensure stopping power. -Equip your child with a special cyanide-filled false tooth for use in case of capture. -Dress your child in all black costumes to make them virtually invisible to potentially dangerous motorists. -Do not ring doorbells under any circumstances. -Beat would-be child murderers at their own game by poisoning your kids ahead of time. Happy Halloween!
