Post 'em here guys. We could all use a good laugh after the past two games. A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home. ------------------ "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush
The Rocket's defense! HA HA HA HA HA HAH AHAHA HA HAH HA A!!!! But now on a serious note, here is one of my favorite jokes: An American, a German, and a Japanese man are all playing golf. At the first tee, the American's hand starts beeping, and he places his hand up to his head in the typical phone position, and speaks quietly for a few minutes. After he stops the German man asks the American what happened. "New American technology, they place the speaker in my thumb, and the receiver in my little fingernail, and it acts as a very efficient wireless phone," the American replies. The three men play on, unimpressed. Later, the German's head starts beeping. He does nothing different, and starts talking quietly for a few minutes, then stops. Upon inquiry the German replied, "New German technology. They place the speaker in my ear, the receiver in my tooth, and it acts as a more efficient wireless phone. The three play on. Later, the Japanese man excuses himself from the game for a few minutes and steps into the bushes. The American and German wait for 5 minutes, and he does not return. After several minutes more they go into the bushes themselves, and see the Japanese man squatting in the bushes with his pants down around his ankles. "What the hell are you doing?!" the other two ask in unison. The Japanese looks up and replies, "New Japanese technology. I am waiting for a fax." I love that joke. ------------------ "Of course, everything looks bad if you remember it!" Homer Simpson
hehe ------------------ Charles Barkley on TBS on the "fat track" poll: "What? 47% said I'd gain more.....why those.....they better be glad this is a family show."
This joke always makes me chuckle. Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games." The third convict, who was a Vol fan, was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked - "What can you do with those?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said - "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...." ------------------ Ceo of the Walt Williams fan club. Web site coming soon atheistalliance.org
